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Pun for the week - 8/20/2006 6:20:53 AM

Pimpernell

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On his way to work, a driver swerved to avoid a box that fell from a truck. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. But another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policemen retrieved the box and found that it contained tacks. "Nonetheless," the first trooper told the driver, "I have to write you a ticket."

Amazed, the driver asked why.

The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."

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RE: Pun for the week - 8/20/2006 8:11:39 AM

pounddog

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Joined: 6/2/2006
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i thought that was stupid , But i still chuckled,

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RE: Pun for the week - 8/27/2006 8:27:17 AM

Pimpernell

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A bear walks into a bar and says "I want a bourbon and...
...
... a coke."
The bartender asks "what's with the huge pause?" The bear shrugs and says...
"I've had them all my life."

(in reply to pounddog)

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RE: Pun for the week - 8/27/2006 8:30:04 AM

Pimpernell

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Joined: 12/10/2005
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An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site.
The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."
To the Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shoveling."
And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a big dent in that there pile." So the foreman goes away for a couple hours and when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched.

He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replies, "I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinese a fella that he awasa ina charge ofa supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I nocouldafinda him nowhere."

Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says, "And you; I thought I told you to shovel this pile." The Scotsman replies, "Aye, ye did lad; boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldnay fin' him either."

The foreman is real angry now, and storms off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy. Just then, the Chinese guy leaps out from behind the pile of sand and yells...

"SUPPLIES!!

< Message edited by Pimpernell -- 8/27/2006 8:32:06 AM >

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RE: Pun for the week - 8/27/2006 8:34:52 AM

BrutalAntipathy

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Joined: 7/8/2005
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A string walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender looks at it and says " We don't serve strings in here! "

The string leaves, walks around a corner, ties itself into a know, and frazzles it's ends. It then walks back into the bar and orders a beer.

The bartender looks at and says " Aren't you that string that was just in here? "

The string replies " Nope, i'm a frayed knot! "

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RE: Pun for the week - 8/27/2006 9:22:27 AM

CreoleCook

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Joined: 10/9/2005
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Freudian slip: to say one thing, but mean your mother.

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RE: Pun for the week - 9/28/2006 4:10:48 AM

Pimpernell

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A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without a torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with
love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his
head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.

Swoooop! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then brsts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"!

The bartender still shakes his head in dismay. Swoooop! Two arms pops out! The bar goes wild. The father, crying and
wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink"! The bartender ignores the whole affair.

By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands
up on his new legs and stumbles to the left....then to the right.... right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly.

The bar falls silent.

The father moans in grief.

The bartender sighs and says...

"He should have quit while he was a head!"

(in reply to CreoleCook)

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RE: Pun for the week - 9/28/2006 10:47:46 AM

Sub03

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Joined: 4/30/2005
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horrible jokes but still a chuckle

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