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RE: Another Daddy Dom Question - 8/21/2006 10:42:11 AM

alex90230

Posts: 2
Joined: 5/6/2005
Status: offline

I took my little girl out drinking the other night. All the young studs hit on her. "Who's that old guy you're with?" they'd ask. "Oh, he's my daddy," she'd reply. "You mean your father?" they'd ask. "No, my daddy," she'd reply. The young studs were a little confused and not quite sure how to react. My little girl had a good time...and so did I.

< Message edited by alex90230 -- 8/21/2006 10:56:41 AM >

(in reply to Sasy)

Post #: 21

RE: Another Daddy Dom Question - 8/21/2006 11:04:04 AM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Escravo, yes, I don't call my sub my "daughter" that would sound kind of incestuous.
But, Daddy Dom or not she's "my little girl."

(in reply to SweetEscravo)

Post #: 22

RE: Another Daddy Dom Question - 8/21/2006 11:30:59 AM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

I have been reading the various threads on the D/d dynamic, mostly because it has a strong presence in my relationship with my dom. I have noticed that several people, in talking about the dynamic, fall into a sort of shorthand when discussing the concept and seem to make some general assumptions about the nature of any couple who engage in this (D/d, D/lg, D/bg) dynamic:
All Daddies are tender, kind and nurturing.
All submissives who have "Daddy Doms" are naive and childlike, and are prone to "bratty" behavior which is acceptable to their doms.
All submissives who have "Daddy doms" are "babygirls".
Daddy doms are innately "protective", implying that Masters, Sirs, Lords, and Owners are not, or at least not the same extent as Daddies.

It would be as much of a turnoff to me if I were expected to put on some pre-determined character of "his babygirl" in our interactions as it would be to have to wear bells on my ankle and speak about myself in third person...maybe it would be interesting for a short time, but eventually the imposition of a pre-fabricated set of behavioral parameters would become tiresome at best.

I call him Daddy. He does not, however, call me "babygirl" "little girl" or his "daughter". He has another, special name for me that is just mine. I understand that the OP had a sincere and seemingly simple question that was a matter of clarification for that individual, but I personally would not see the value in questioning whether any of the labels discussed necessarily describe what it is I experience as my Daddy's girl because what we experience together is a dynamic that pervades and enhances our relationship but does not ultimately define it.

I think it was pointed out in the other current D/d thread that there are many ways this dynamic can be woven into any D/s, M/s, S/m relationship. There is not one template that a couple has to fit over their dynamic and make sure all the edges line up. Ultimately, there are two individuals involved who will determine the shape and depth and width and height and smell and taste and vibration of their own relationship.

Two people enter a relationship. They find their way together. If they discover there are some labels that seem to fit them pretty well, and they want to use those as a sort of shorthand for the sake of simplicity and ease in conversation, I think that's great. I would not recommend, however, that individuals seeking out a relationship limit themselves to whatever definitions or parameters a community agrees upon as acceptable for "type _____" relationships. Seeing what following a formula has done for film and popular music, it seems that path can only lead to certain disaster (or worse, mediocrity).

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to indigo302)

Post #: 23

RE: Another Daddy Dom Question - 8/21/2006 8:35:58 PM

Satyr6406

Posts: 820
Joined: 3/27/2006
From: New Brunswick, N.J.
Status: offline

     I just skimmed through some of these and I can see that I may have to post those text files to which I alluded, on the other thread ...

     In my relationship, I am not her father. I am, I guess, to a certain extent, a "father figure".

     Hopefully, she sees me as wise, caring, loving, giving, warm, protective, and nurturing. With all of those things, she also needs to see me as just, respectable (and respectful), a mentor, a teacher, a disciplinarian, exacting, and dutiful.

     These synonyms, really, just scratch the surface but, I need to reiterate: IN MY CASE, it DOES NOT have anything to do with "age play" or my "replacing her father".

     I am not sure because I have not delved deeply into it but, perhaps because of our need to "label" just about everything, the term came into being to offset us from the "Old Guard Dominants" or "Gorean Masters", who are seen as more stern or "emotionally detached" from their submissives (That's just conjecture, on my part).

     As with the lifestyle, in general; I believe that there's 8 million ways that we practice the principles. No one has "written the book". What works for me and my little one, certainly, will NOT work for EVERYONE else (but, it might work for a few).

     I would LOVE to see a regular discussion group get going on this subject!

     Peace and comfort,

                       Michael

_____________________________

Peace and comfort,

Michael

Former Vice-President Gore didn't invent the internet but, he DID make up global warming!

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 24

RE: Another Daddy Dom Question - 8/21/2006 8:49:25 PM

SCORPIOXXX

Posts: 223
Joined: 11/6/2004
Status: offline

Well heather, I have to agree with you that "no template fits all"... There are no "Daddies or little girls in a box, just add water and shake"... as for the generalities,it's a rock and hard place kind of thing: does one write huge long passages to cover all the nuances, or does one try to sum it up without going on forever? And do either within a reasonable amount of time, lol... That's why the Forums need you and other readers to round it out!

So, yes, in the end the Daddy dynamic is always specific to the individuals involved. I couldn't go around all day and night always referring to me and grl as Daddy and babygirl / pookster / pumpkin / whatever... At that point, everyone is too pegged in!

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 25

RE: Another Daddy Dom Question - 8/21/2006 8:52:13 PM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

At this very moment Im having a conversation about the same idea on IM with another submissive. Short-hand labels are good for some things...not so good for others. I honestly dont know that much about the "stereotypical" Daddy/little girl dynamic.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to SCORPIOXXX)

Post #: 26

RE: Another Daddy Dom Question - 8/21/2006 9:03:18 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Heather, good post!

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 27

RE: Another Daddy Dom Question - 8/21/2006 10:48:27 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NastyDaddy

The label "Male Daddy" is just so unbecoming... and besides, us Daddy males were the first ones using "Daddy Dom".

Perhaps it's time to coin "Daddy Domme" to lessen the confusion and really clear up a lot of ambiguities?

We should use a term for it that is less loaded with preconceived notions.

I say we call all Daddy Doms by the name of Eustace.

And all Mommy Dommes by the name Hester.

This will alleviate any confusion on the matter.

Just me, etc.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to NastyDaddy)

Post #: 28

RE: Another Daddy Dom Question - 8/21/2006 11:11:16 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

OK, WHO told you my middle name was Hester. Wel, Esther actually. DAMMIT

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 29

RE: Another Daddy Dom Question - 8/22/2006 1:11:34 AM

NastyDaddy

Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline

I thought you were a Eustace?

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 30

RE: Another Daddy Dom Question - 8/22/2006 1:13:58 AM

NastyDaddy

Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline

What do we call Daddy's pussy... Eustace's pussy?

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 31

RE: Another Daddy Dom Question - 8/22/2006 1:39:43 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

I don't know what this has to do with anything, but I actually knew a woman named Hortense once.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to NastyDaddy)

Post #: 32

RE: Another Daddy Dom Question - 8/22/2006 5:17:15 AM

WhipTheHip

Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: classykindasassy
You would probably have to ask the particular dom using the name "daughter" or "little girl".

I think for some doms, it would actually squick them to consider being sexual with their actual unmentionable.

For others, it might be an erotic construct that works.

In my case, when I first called my dom "daddy' he did not really like it - it squicked him.

But as we grew into our relationship, he saw himself as a daddy figure and began to get ok with it. I am his little girl now.

i have done role play in the past that simulated daddy/unmentionable (teen, not littlie) and loved it. I have that experience ( as littlie) as a reality in my family, and there was nothing violent or abusive going on. Some doms could not go there. I actually used it to embrace my history in an empowering and nurturing way that allowed me to forgive and actually begin to revel in my kink and sexuality. But it's not for everyone. One has to be able to own the "game" of role play and not get lost or messed up inside it.

I did not have a choice about what was done to me as a child. But I do have a choice in how I view it and how I hold the people who did it in my mind. It took me years to be able to stop feeling like a broken piece for my taste in kink. I am an incredibly sexual being. Now that I have done the work of owning all of me, I love my sexuality and can share it completely with an amazing partner who can take pleasure in all of my response, and not be overwhemed by it. And i can have a balanced life where I am not dominated by my sexuality any longer, but can express it appropriately and do things most people would never have the courage to do or experience.

I have played this role as a Dom with two adult survivors. Originally, it did squick me quite a bit.  But after a while it turned me on.
There is a big difference between consensual sex between adults and non-sensual sex with a minor as is usually the case in such
situations. Some survivors heal from this play, others would be damaged and further traumatized by it. Each knows who they are.
People often get imprinted by their first sexual experience.   Even though their fisrt experience was revolting and disgusting, they
may later fantasize about it. As they become an adult, they feel differently about sex, and have conflicted feeling about it. As they
enjoy the experience the sickening aspect of what happened to them slowly disappates. Their anger cools, and they are able to
forgive more and more.   With their new Daddy, they have control they did not have as a child, and they likely receive love they
did not feel as a child. At first they may feel guilt, but as time goes by they learn to differentiate between there feelings as an
adult and there feelings as a child.

Michael

(in reply to classykindasassy)

Post #: 33

RE: Another Daddy Dom Question - 8/27/2006 12:28:36 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

I call my potential dom daddy and he calls me baby or my baby kitty. nothing "fantasy " about it. we really do use those terms for each other.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SalemWiK

quote:

ORIGINAL: BrokenDoll

ummm shouldnt we call Dommes Mommy Domme???
sorry no disrespect meant I just think it makes more sence

I think the title Daddy or Mommy shouldn't mean anything unless the Dom/Domme themselves choose the title for themselves and then it should hold reverence for the little girl/boy. It's all fantasy here, what works for the couple is what works.

(in reply to SalemWiK)

Post #: 34

RE: Another Daddy Dom Question - 8/28/2006 9:14:51 AM

Crittersmaster

Posts: 26
Joined: 4/3/2006
Status: offline

I am a daddy dom. It didn't start out that way, it was something we grew into. I do not have any desire for age play and neither does my pet. We tried it once years ago with her as a teenager, well it just felt stupid. Very stupid.

And I do not have any desire for incest with a daughter. That has nothing to do with it.

So if it isn't age play, and it isn't role playing incest, what would be the attraction?

For us it was the awkwardness of being called a "Master" which I never really felt like I was. To me the master wants someone to service them to make themselves feel better and the slave's desires are not really worried about. I felt more like I was trying to help my pet be a better person, more sexy, and of course - helping her to know what I wanted and liked from her too. It was not just a sexual thing, but also included how to behave in public, exercise, good eating habits, and more self confidence. In that respect I was more of a Daddy figure than a straight up master.

We had a conversation about that one night after I was tired of trying to get used to the name Master (this was multiple years into our entry into the lifestyle) and made the decision to try Daddy as a title. Honestly it felt weird to even suggest it, but after a couple of days it just felt right. She is my little girl, my pet. And I am her Daddy.

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

Post #: 35

RE: Another Daddy Dom Question - 8/28/2006 6:49:51 PM

indigo302

Posts: 127
Joined: 4/28/2004
From: Delaware
Status: offline

Thank you all for your replies!

You've given me a good deal to think about.

For me, there is a difference between Daddy/daughter and Daddy/littlegirl dynamic. As I said in the beginning, it may be semantics, but for me it is an important semantic. I did not in the past nor will I in the future see my Dom as a replacement Father figure. I do however, see him as a mentor, a guide, a teacher and disciplinarian, so while he has a "Daddy" (and for me, Master and Daddy could be interchangeable), we are both adults, in a consenting adult relationship.

indigo

(in reply to Crittersmaster)

Post #: 36

RE: Another Daddy Dom Question - 9/5/2006 6:53:30 AM

charismagirrl

Posts: 297
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline

i myself am in a Daddy/little girl relationship. It isn't a Daddy/daught. relationship although the similarities are there. He isn't that much older than i am (6 yrs) and i am not totally childlike (childish moments) but very girly. There is no bratty behavior as i am told is a common occurance.(He has made me stronger rather than helping me revert to an irresponsible child)

The similarities are only that He is nurturing and guiding me. He protects me and loves me. He disciplines and punishes me. He helps me grow.He has given me a safe place to grow and deepen in my submissiveness and as His slave and a person.

In my life experience with my true biological and step fathers-he has far surpassed anything they would've even thought
of, much less actually done, so to put our relationship in the same category, (in my mind) would be a grave injustice. He is waaayyy better than those 3.

(Go Daddy)

< Message edited by charismagirrl -- 9/5/2006 6:57:24 AM >

(in reply to indigo302)

Post #: 37

RE: Another Daddy Dom Question - 9/5/2006 7:09:12 AM

WhipTheHip

Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline

Dum Dee Dom Dom Dom

An eye for an eye, makes for a lot of agreement. And a See for a See.

I'd love to find a little girl who needs a father to take care of her.

< Message edited by WhipTheHip -- 9/5/2006 7:27:52 AM >

_____________________________

(in reply to Sasy)

Post #: 38

RE: Another Daddy Dom Question - 9/5/2006 10:18:30 AM

Argentopal

Posts: 379
Joined: 12/12/2005
From: Central Texas / Hill Country
Status: offline

For us, we had been 24 7 Ds for about 8 years and I had gone through many phases of growing and changing my feelings, my ideas, my depth of submission. For a long time I felt like I got up each day and gave my submission again and it felt right for me. However, as we grew and things morphed in each of us one day I realized that I wanted to call Argent "Daddy". I wanted to be his "baby girl" but not his daughter. I loved my real life Father and had a wonderful relationship with him and this is not an effort to recreate that relationship. For me it is a deep emotional feeling. When a child has a good strong parental relationship they do not wake up each morning and wonder ... "will Daddy love me today? will Daddy protect me today? will Daddy take good care of me today?" They just KNOW. They just TRUST. That deep trust is what I feel when I say Daddy and in turn (Argent tells me) it is that deep and total responsibility to care for me that he feels when he calls me babygirl.

MsOpal who is also Daddy Argents babygirl

(in reply to Sasy)

Post #: 39

RE: Another Daddy Dom Question - 9/5/2006 10:22:18 AM

Argentopal

Posts: 379
Joined: 12/12/2005
From: Central Texas / Hill Country
Status: offline

The below post really says what we feel so well! Not age play, not incest - it just feels right, and absolutely has made us both stronger, better people in many different ways!
MsOpal aka Daddy Argent's babygirl

ORIGINAL: Crittersmaster

I am a daddy dom. It didn't start out that way, it was something we grew into. I do not have any desire for age play and neither does my pet. We tried it once years ago with her as a teenager, well it just felt stupid. Very stupid.

And I do not have any desire for incest with a daughter. That has nothing to do with it.

So if it isn't age play, and it isn't role playing incest, what would be the attraction?

For us it was the awkwardness of being called a "Master" which I never really felt like I was. To me the master wants someone to service them to make themselves feel better and the slave's desires are not really worried about. I felt more like I was trying to help my pet be a better person, more sexy, and of course - helping her to know what I wanted and liked from her too. It was not just a sexual thing, but also included how to behave in public, exercise, good eating habits, and more self confidence. In that respect I was more of a Daddy figure than a straight up master.

We had a conversation about that one night after I was tired of trying to get used to the name Master (this was multiple years into our entry into the lifestyle) and made the decision to try Daddy as a title. Honestly it felt weird to even suggest it, but after a couple of days it just felt right. She is my little girl, my pet. And I am her Daddy.
[/quote]

(in reply to Crittersmaster)

Post #: 40

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