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RE: When submission creates the desire to serve. - 8/21/2006 12:44:07 PM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO
I have to wonder if they ask themselves how demanding a request that is, and perhaps slightly unrealisitc.

- Susan

If you find the demands or expectations of a particular dom to be unrealistic, it is probably a good sign that he is not a good match for you.

Lots of people walk around in their own realities with ideas about relationships that are the interpersonal equivilent of a blood pH of 7.1...not compatible with life. They either figure this out the hard way or don't ever figure it out and remain alone. What matters is that you and your partner have compatible ideas about the division of labor and the way things will be in your relationship.

Prosteletizing to the delusional, while it might seem like a worthwhile cause initially, will most likely just end up creating more frustration on your part.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 21

RE: When submission creates the desire to serve. - 8/21/2006 12:44:29 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Susan, lol, while he sits at home drinking beer and watching football?
No, that's not a good arrangement at all!
Any LTR has to be satisfying for BOTH people.
And BOTH people need to contribute.
That's why communication is very important.

Dark, yes just in panties and one of my dress shirts serving me coffee in the morning "counts" too!

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 22

RE: When submission creates the desire to serve. - 8/21/2006 12:47:04 PM

wendyLDG

Posts: 11
Joined: 9/1/2005
Status: offline

i found my destiny as a submissive and slave late in life, i am now 55 and have been in the lifestyle for nearly 5 years. Yet i spent most of my life in service to my husband and children because i believed that i was the one to rear my children and be at home for them. i also believed that it was my place to look after my husbands needs and if that meant getting up at 4.0 am to get his breakfast then so what? i could go back to bed. He was working hard to provide for his family. However since becoming a slave and no not to my husband but with his blessing i long to serve my Master in the same way. However He is also married and has His wifes blessing, in fact her insistance that He found Himself a slave. The domestic service is not for us so i have to find other ways to serve Him. As a slave i find the desire to serve my Master very strong. i understand where dark is coming from and found her post very moving yet agree that it can serve in other situations. Master and i both act as carers to our respective partners so we both serve those we love and together find the fulfillment that we both need and desire.
sarah 503-552-089

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 23

RE: When submission creates the desire to serve. - 8/21/2006 12:50:38 PM

nefertari

Posts: 425
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

I shop, fingering every item, choosing only the best, only the freshest – to please him, to feed him, to produce the most nutritional and balanced meals, to enhance his house. I revel in washing and ironing, paying attention to every seam and crease, knowing that as I do so, when he wears these items, he will look stunning because of the love steamed into these clothes. I bustle around the home, knowing that every particle of dust I remove, every crumb that I hover, is done in reverence to him. I keep his house, so he has no other concerns, so he may focus on his desires and not have to waste time on anything less.

The words that spoke to my heart. The essence of who I am, deep down.

I have gotten away from that; not out of desire, but necessity. I was one of those needing away out, yet stuck because of lack of income. I got a job and moved out on only three paychecks with 2 kids, a car payment and no health insurance. After that struggle, I swore I'd never let myself end up in that position again.

But in doing that I am denying my true self. The desire to serve the one I love. The desire to make and keep a home for him. I was so proud that I could do this for my husband so that when he wasn't working he could be working on his hobbies, we could be spending family time together, etc.

I am a fan of the "traditional" home, although I realize it's not for everyone. It just seems when one is taking care of the domestic responsibilities while the other is taking care of the financial responsibilities it allows time for each partner to enjoy each other, their family, and their life. In order for it to work, though, one must enjoy doing those things; it must fulfill a need one has.

It doesn't make one less to be serving her family and fulfilling her needs. Have you ever noticed the peace and contentment of those doing what their heart desires? It's in every word you wrote, dark.

Thank you.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 24

RE: When submission creates the desire to serve. - 8/21/2006 1:07:17 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Dark, well said and well written!
You really get to the essence of it.
I think as a Dominant to have a sub/slave "serving" me and wanting to take care of me would be a true gift and I'd be very lucky to find someone like that!
And, I would appreciate it in the deepest way as well.
For someone to want to "give" themselves to me in such a way would be beautiful!
Of course I'd want to protect and care for them too.
I think we all have a deep-seated need for that kind of "traditional" relationship as it were where when you go home you know there is someone waiting there for you who cares very deeply about you and loves you.

(in reply to nefertari)

Post #: 25

RE: When submission creates the desire to serve. - 8/21/2006 1:58:49 PM

eroticangel

Posts: 272
Joined: 2/13/2006
Status: offline

dark. your words are beautiful, they hit to my heart..thank you for your eloquence.

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 26

RE: When submission creates the desire to serve. - 8/21/2006 4:42:42 PM

reticence

Posts: 180
Joined: 2/28/2006
Status: offline

Dark

That was beautiful, thank you. It made me cry, a deep cry, it was good for me. I am so happy for you, you are truly blessed and so is your One.

(in reply to eroticangel)

Post #: 27

RE: When submission creates the desire to serve. - 8/21/2006 4:47:53 PM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

justheather, I love your posts. You are so right!

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 28

RE: When submission creates the desire to serve. - 8/21/2006 4:53:21 PM

meatcleaver

Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

When subs say they have a need to serve I yawn. They have the need to serve someone who gives them what they desire in return which is a sort of payment so it ain't really service for nothing. I have yet to meet someone who serves for serving's sake. When a woman says she is a slave to a man's desires it is because she desires that man and that is why she submits to him, she is getting what she wants. Yep, I'm repeating myself because I want to make it clear what I mean. When the bloke she is serving stops giving her what she wants she naturally pulls the plug. I'm not blaming her for that as I would do the same but it ain't service and it ain't submission other than in the realms of fantasy because to repeat myself, he is paying a price somewhere. He is in effect submitting to the will of the sub, which is why I have always thought the term Dom to be something of a misnomer too.

Pleasing a sub is a two way street and bloody hard work most of the time. Of course, Doms do it for the sex. That's my take anyway.

< Message edited by meatcleaver -- 8/21/2006 4:59:43 PM >

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 29

RE: When submission creates the desire to serve. - 8/21/2006 5:03:38 PM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

Well, Susan, I know it is your nature to want to communicate with people and reach understanding, but sometimes you gotta just add the fact that you arent them to your list of blessings and wish them well.

Thank you for the compliment.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 30

RE: When submission creates the desire to serve. - 8/21/2006 5:10:34 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

while he sits at home drinking beer and watching football?
<snip>
And BOTH people need to contribute.

I contribute by acting as beer wench while we watch football together. Is that good service?

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 31

RE: When submission creates the desire to serve. - 8/21/2006 5:20:51 PM

Littlepita

Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline

Dark you wrote a beautiful thread. I love that kind of service and have been blessed for the last 6 months to be able to stay at home and serve him in anyway he wants.

The thing he wants the most is what LaTigresse spoke of in her post. He wants me to be financially independent and able to take care of myself. The reason for this is because I have never had the opportunity before, and because realistically he is much older than I and we need to prepare for what is likely to happen. He also has a selfish motive that once I'm able to support myself, my submission to him will mean more, because it will be what I choose and not need.

Next month I start college and while a part of me wishes I can just stay here at home and be next to him all day, I know that isn't what he wants for me. So, I will go off and make my Sir proud and get my education and when that is done my business.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 32

RE: When submission creates the desire to serve. - 8/21/2006 5:43:19 PM

WhipTheHip

Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline

I get pleasure from serving a submissive female. The more submissive a female,
the more I want to love and cherish her. I am sure every man wishes he had a
submissive like darkinshadows. If I had ever had a submissive like her, I
think I would have been able to make the world a much better place. Guys
with a female like her are the lukiest guys in the world.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 33

RE: When submission creates the desire to serve. - 8/21/2006 6:44:06 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver
When subs say they have a need to serve I yawn. They have the need to serve someone who gives them what they desire in return which is a sort of payment so it ain't really service for nothing.

Not necessarily. There's a difference between saying "Give me what I want/need and I'll give you what you want/need so we'll both be happy" and saying "I am fulfilled by serving you. You are fulfilled by being the authority in my life."

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to meatcleaver)

Post #: 34

RE: When submission creates the desire to serve. - 8/21/2006 7:23:13 PM

LTRsubNW

Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline

quote:

I only worked about half the time I was married. My husband made an excellent living for both of us, and I really liked being a housewife. I liked my job when I had one, but wasn't in love with it, and I liked being home and cooking and cleaning, etc.

Fuck those pricks. (They don't know shit).

Everyone has their spot. Ain't nothing wrong with yours.

Fuck em.

< Message edited by LTRsubNW -- 8/21/2006 7:30:16 PM >

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 35

RE: When submission creates the desire to serve. - 8/21/2006 9:39:44 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

Great post!

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows

So why should I want anything but to be his? Why should I want to do anything, but serve him? I gain no sexual release from the service itself… yet I do find it challenging and above all, gain satisfaction knowing that all that I do, only enhances what he is. I love to wash the dishes, knowing that he has eaten the food I prepared, to his liking, to his specification – and enjoyed every last piece because I served it with total love. I shop, fingering every item, choosing only the best, only the freshest – to please him, to feed him, to produce the most nutritional and balanced meals, to enhance his house. I revel in washing and ironing, paying attention to every seam and crease, knowing that as I do so, when he wears these items, he will look stunning because of the love steamed into these clothes. I bustle around the home, knowing that every particle of dust I remove, every crumb that I hover, is done in reverence to him. I keep his house, so he has no other concerns, so he may focus on his desires and not have to waste time on anything less.
So why frown upon me, and others like me? Why think we have no life? He is my life. Do people not think that I – and others like me – have no personality, no mind? I am his equal, yet I chose to submit that equality to him. Does it make us weak and stupid – inferior - because of ‘housewife’ mentality? Why the shocked looks when you say you do not work outside his house – and why even more shocked looks when you explain you have no desire to?

Is it so hard to comprehend, the pleasure and excitement that is caused by serving as hostess for his gatherings? Watching him beam as people enjoy the company, as others relax in the atmosphere of contentedness… knowing that as I serve others, I am serving and submitting to him. Can you fathom that exquisite rapture?

Right, I understand it. Imagine how challenging it must be at times for a "man" to take that role? Imagine the looks he gets when people ask him what he does for a living or why doesn't he have a career.

I have to tell, you from the other side of it, there's nothing more amazing than knowing (and seeing evidence of) the level of devotion someone has to simply make every day *amazing* for you. And, knowing that he will do anything for me - any time, any where, there is nothing that will ever get in the way of his objective of making me happy. I'd happily give away half the income in the household for that, knowing it was from the heart. What makes it so remarkable is that he does not operate as if these are tasks, and he must complete those tasks, and this is his "job" -- it is his *pleasure* to be able to do it and to see the results in my demeanor and peace of mind.

What would happen if he were working also is that we'd have more disposable income, but no time or will to enjoy it. I will happily trade the materialistic toys knowing I have a 24/7 soul mate who is ready and eager to make my days special.

It does not mean he is stalled and trapped and intellectually unchallenged. He is able to study and read, self teach hobbies that will benefit us both, and spend time volunteering as well as taking care of his body and taking pride in his appeal.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 36

RE: When submission creates the desire to serve. - 8/21/2006 11:00:10 PM

Wolfie648

Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

Do what you need to do unless it involves knowingly hurting someone else against their will.

That's my theory and I'm sticking to it until something better comes along (although I do sometimes makes mistakes along the way). Humanity sux; no perfection.

D (owner of j)

_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 37

RE: When submission creates the desire to serve. - 8/22/2006 2:15:42 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

It could be that much of the vanilla world views threaten us even though we are dwelling in our enclave of CM. We all need to be told now and then that it is all okay. Here, there is a powerful sexual darkness and a celebration of the BDSM lifestyle ritual in every topic, every post and every person of this site that the mainstream sees as perverse.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to darkinshadows)

Post #: 38

RE: When submission creates the desire to serve. - 8/22/2006 3:22:40 AM

meatcleaver

Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain

It could be that much of the vanilla world views threaten us even though we are dwelling in our enclave of CM. We all need to be told now and then that it is all okay. Here, there is a powerful sexual darkness and a celebration of the BDSM lifestyle ritual in every topic, every post and every person of this site that the mainstream sees as perverse.

I don't believe that is true at all. The most negative response I get when discussing BDSM is a rolling of the eyes. I've also come across more sexual darkness in vanilla life style than in BDSM. Though I haven't come across worse cheating but I guess that would be something that happens across the board.

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Post #: 39

RE: When submission creates the desire to serve. - 8/22/2006 8:10:19 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

When subs say they have a need to serve I yawn. They have the need to serve someone who gives them what they desire in return which is a sort of payment so it ain't really service for nothing. I have yet to meet someone who serves for serving's sake. When a woman says she is a slave to a man's desires it is because she desires that man and that is why she submits to him, she is getting what she wants.

Very few people are of the opinion that submission is a selfless act. Service is the same. Is there a payback? Sure - him. Would I do all this if it meant he didnt gain in someway? Nope - thats the payback... it his growth and what he gains that fulfils me. And you are damn right thats a selfish act in the sense that I am getting what I want, his life is improving.

I agree with Em when she says -

quote:

There's a difference between saying "Give me what I want/need and I'll give you what you want/need so we'll both be happy" and saying "I am fulfilled by serving you. You are fulfilled by being the authority in my life."

These are two different ethics. Never said that serving, nor submission is a selfless act. Neither is Domination.

Peace and Rapture

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to meatcleaver)

Post #: 40

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