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Mavis -> RE: pushing buttons (8/22/2006 9:40:40 AM)
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(pretend this is posted under another name, because i really don't want to own these words..)
Yes, i've done a bad that wasn't just play-testing, i was poking intentionally to get the root response instead of the metered response. i needed to know if He would change into wicked-Man once set off kilter, or Dom-barrassed.
Example.. i'm supposed to be quitting smoking. (i read there is a thread on that, i'll go look it up) i smoked right outside the building, knowing full well He knew i was toting smokes and was likely to walk out the door any minute and catch me red handed. Which He did, of course. He only commented calmly, "you didn't really think i didn't know you had those did you?" and let it drop, leaving peer pressure of my friends to deliver the actual "discipline".
When i asked about it later, He said He knew if i was really who i am supposed to be at heart, a big display wasn't needed, my own shame would kick in, and He trusted i was who i claim to be.
Extrodinary really, that a test i set out to see if He is who He claims to be turns into His way of showing His trust in ME. For some reason, that knowledge doesn't free me up to be "more bad", it freed me to be more good.
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