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LadyHugs -> RE: Dealing With Death...Please Help (8/22/2006 5:24:20 PM)
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Dear JerseyKrissi72, Ladies and Gentlemen;
My deepest regrets for your individual loss and to those fellow posting, of their losses.
I have been around three decades in the lifestyle; loosing a Master in my young 'lifestyle' life, as he was old when he took me on and his circle were old men when I was in my late teens and early twenties.
When I became a Master to my first slave, as we both were overseas we had to part ways as military transfers and in my slave's case--was the "real" master. He was later killed in action. I've stood at friend's side as the case would be, either slave or Master was dying --the horrid HIV virus was the modern blight through the community. Often there to support the survivor.
As so many have spoken well on, taking your time through the process is paramount. People grieve differently. Some get a delay in the grief process. Some look like they manage fine yet, inside they are broken.
Even if it is not scene related, passing of my parent was right before teaching a "master's training." It was awful for me to loose a parent, having another one who was unable to care for themselves, so perhaps it might be a double hit. I got through my grief by having a group of wonderful slaves lavishing love and support, hugging and petting me. My grief started after the academy was over.
When I lost my Master, it wasn't so hard as I was prepared for death, as he was an older Master and at age 70, it was good of him to do so.
I think surprise deaths, such as sudden deaths are what hurts the most.
It isn't like we have time to say good-bye or have affairs in order.
When I lost my former slave, being my first has special meanings that any "First" has. The slaves who came afterward, have been wonderful indeed.
I will add that, even when there is a parting of ways, such as going alive in two different directions, when a relationship ends also comes with grief and a feeling of death. The richness of a M/s or D/s relationship roots deep, like any marriage or parent/child relationship, so any loss--especially death is grave and requires people to grieve in their own way, own time and only then will the time come where someone else comes to open the door to new relationships but, never to replace the one or those many lost before.
Sincerely,
Lady Hugs
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