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LadyHugs -> RE: It’s all about trust what do you think? (8/23/2006 11:28:15 AM)
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Dear sircurrent, Ladies and Gentlemen;
You wrote;
quote:
ORIGINAL: sircurrent
I was not on copy of the original note sent out by this submissive. I was copied on a response to the note from the person she sent it to. There was no spying on my part.
Unfortunately, anything that is sent through E-mail, Instant Messages and or Chat Rooms cannot be deemed confidential no matter how many agreements are made. As much as people wish/want/agree to be confidential -- some just aren't.
I will add, with the "personal computer age," as well as the neat things they can do, as far as editing and things beyond my talents can be done, unless it is written out the old fashioned way and can be vouched as authentic by a writing expert, I think anything like E-mails and such is subjected to tampering by others. Too many times I've seen something I wrote in confidence be twisted into something most vile and nothing I would ever author or pen. Some people will use the contents in selective bits but, the messages and or the intent is skewed, as the entire letter has not been submitted and untampered with.
No matter how much you, or I or the good folks on this forum, take steps to put an honorable, gracious and compassionate letter or response forth, the next person may indeed twist it as to create something totally different. It is my sincere wish, that the scene in general remembers, that truth is sometimes tampered with and becomes a lie. Once it leaves our desk it is subjected to tampering and changes the contents and or character of our words and our intent. I don't know of a remedy, other than talking to a person face to face but, even then a person can change the story. Like the child's game of 'telephone' or 'pass the story.' People will gossip. People who tell friends, keeping things confidential sometimes works but, it gets back skewed. Just like I have seen people besmirched, as false E-mails were created by cut and pasteing. Some have even gone to the extremes of cut and paste the route codes and such these servers use. Then Xerox a copy off or scan and pass it around. What some do to hurt others can go rather extreme. This is why, I judge for myself with interactions of other people, face to face. If I believed every story that people told, even violating rules of groups, lists and such, I wouldn't be friends or acquaintances with so many.
That said, there are times when things pass on through untampered but, the reader can jump to conclusions or assumptions based on personality conflicts or just selective logic.
Confidential information is something that should be retained. But, if somebody breeches that confidentiality, then it is no longer confidential. Sometimes it is a curse and sometimes a blessing. Sometimes individuals who breeched confidential information aren't the ones cited but, what was confidential and no longer, another person may be targeted as the 'scape goat.' Sometimes, this tactic is used to 'out' an individual or creating 'false' evidence as to cause an individual to leave.
Personally, if people were so intimidated by another, as to create all this drama, I would have to look and wonder about the credibility of those who stir up credibility issues.
I have found through the years, that 'trust' is hard earned and easily lost. Trusting yourself is a must but, I don't trust many 'that' much. If they haven't been associates of mine over five years or more, I don't trust them fully with anything. Those 'friends' who are about more than five years then I will share more confidential things. Sometimes "trial balloons" are useful to me. I find that if the information comes back, much like "telephone" or "pass the story" child's games of old, you'll know where the leak came from. Most don't even know that I use trial balloons until it is too late. I know who I said something to and when it comes back through channels I know who said it originally. It has served me well and I know who wishes to do me harm.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
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