GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS

GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS (Full Version)

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Mercnbeth -> GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS (8/23/2006 9:02:22 AM)
"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." --- Stephen Bishop "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." -- Winston Churchill (about Clement Atlee) "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." --- Irvin S. Cobb "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." --- Clarence Darrow "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."--- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway) "He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." --- Samuel Johnson "He had delusions of adequacy." --- Walter Kerr "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." --- Groucho Marx "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." --- Thomas Brackett Reed "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." --- Forrest Tucker "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." --- Mark Twain "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." ---Mae West "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go." --- Oscar Wilde "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." --- Oscar Wilde He has Van Gogh's ear for music." --- Billy Wilder

MistressWolfen -> RE: GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS (8/26/2006 9:33:53 PM)
lol love them, I have collected famous insults for years as well.

MistressTexas -> RE: GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS (8/27/2006 5:36:46 PM)
I'm about to make a royal ass of myself, but here goes. The reason for assery being that I can't remember who the female is. Female: If I were your wife, that drink would have poison in it. Winston Churchill: If you were my wife, I'd drink it.

Saratov -> RE: GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS (8/27/2006 5:48:23 PM)
Think I may be royalty too. [:-] I think the man is the Toastmaster General. Conversation held at a snooty big bucks dinner. Man (to lady seated next to him): Would you consider going to bed w/ me for a million dollars? Lady(some what taken aback): What? Well, I suppose I might consider it. Man: How about for ten dollars? Lady(looking insulted) Why, what do you take me for? A common prostitute? Man: Madam, we've already established that. We are now discussing price. [:D]

CreoleCook -> RE: GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS (8/27/2006 7:05:45 PM)
"I drank what?" ~Socrates, after being told he just drank hemlock.

vonzott -> RE: GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS (8/31/2006 11:07:05 AM)
No need to feel weird about not remembering names... guys are experts at it! The lady in question is Churchill's long-time enemy, Lady Astor. The fun part is that usually these kind of quotes didn't really happen, but it turns out that these did! Another from the Churchill/Astor back-and-forth: Lady Astor: "Sir! You are drunk!" Churchill: "My dear, this is true. But in the morning I shall be sober, but you, I'm afraid, will still be ugly..." It really happened! Gotta love someone who can come up with great lines even when drunk! -vz

vonzott -> RE: GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS (8/31/2006 11:13:11 AM)
Johnny Mercer, who wrote lyrics for many great songs like, "Autumn Leaves" and "Satin Doll" and maybe a few hundred others, was asked what he thought of a particular song. His reply is my all time favorite insult, delivered with a straight face. "I could eat alphabet soup and shit better lyrics than that" I love that guy! - vz

Saratov -> RE: GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS (8/31/2006 1:24:34 PM)
[:)] Ask him to prove it. [:D]

vonzott -> RE: GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS (9/1/2006 2:48:49 PM)
Since he's one of my absolute heroes, I shall not. Besides... he's dead...

MistressTexas -> RE: GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS (9/22/2006 11:17:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Saratov Think I may be royalty too. [:-] I think the man is the Toastmaster General. Conversation held at a snooty big bucks dinner. Man (to lady seated next to him): Would you consider going to bed w/ me for a million dollars? Lady(some what taken aback): What? Well, I suppose I might consider it. Man: How about for ten dollars? Lady(looking insulted) Why, what do you take me for? A common prostitute? Man: Madam, we've already established that. We are now discussing price. [:D] For the record, a few friends and I bet another friend he didnt have the balls to pull that. He said the 50$ didn't quite make up for the black eye, but it was sooo worth it.

RubberWitch -> RE: GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS (9/23/2006 1:02:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: vonzott The lady in question is Churchill's long-time enemy, Lady Astor. The fun part is that usually these kind of quotes didn't really happen, but it turns out that these did! Another from the Churchill/Astor back-and-forth: Lady Astor: "Sir! You are drunk!" Churchill: "My dear, this is true. But in the morning I shall be sober, but you, I'm afraid, will still be ugly..." It really happened! Gotta love someone who can come up with great lines even when drunk! -vz actually, sory to dissapoint, but it was the other way round. The coffee one happened, not this one. This was Winston "Journalising", and actually quoting WC Fields for his own purposes As his grandson puts it. "Oh, I'm sure Pug said it, just not at the time" ]v[

Rafters -> RE: GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS (9/25/2006 7:50:25 PM)
Or the time some lord prodded Churchills bulging belly and uttered "that should be on a woman", Churchill winked and said "half an hour ago, it was"

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