|
taewakan -> RE: One sub girl`s frustration. (1/6/2005 8:50:40 AM)
|
Before The Harlem Globetrotters got into the entertainment business, they had a guiding principle - First we win. Then we play.
Maybe you need to talk to your partner/dom about the idea of taking care of business first - household chores are part of taking care of business in my book, but that is a personal choice. If the two of you can come to an agreement on a division of labor in this area then there really is no problem.
But it sounds like you do not really want a 24/7 dom/sub relationship - and there is nothing wrong with this.
I find it is useful to have designated play times. There is nothing wrong with an 8/7 dom-sub relationship - you play for the 8 hours he is home and the rest of the time is yours (as an example.) You may find that this allows you to focus more efficiently on the things that happen outside the playtime.
It has been suggested that most anger and misunderstandings come from unfulfilled expectations. If expectations are clearly stated and agreed upon, then relationships tend to proceed more smoothly... and there would be no question about whether or not you are not doing housework because you were busy or because you were looking for a reason to be disciplined.
The idea of a bad sub should not be an issue - inexperienced does not mean bad. It is okay to experiment and to discuss and change your expectations. Indeed, it is a necessary part of the learning process.
On a curious note, I have a slightly more than passing interest in the occult. Two things -
First, are you interested in exploring the sub side of the occult arts? Second, has your dom shown any interest in exploring the dom-sub side of any occult paths - like god-goddess play?
|
|
|
|
