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One sub girl`s frustration. - 12/31/2004 5:01:33 PM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

I am a young woman, 22 years old, and for a werry long time i have been drawn to being a submissive. The role felt so natrual, so good, and littel by littel i found out that i was acting submissivly in my everyday life all the time. I always hated competitions, i never liked to push pepole to get at wares in stores and prefered to stand silently and await my turn. Silent my realtives descibed me as, the girl sitting by herself, reading a book. It was not that i am not tempremated, for i am, or that i am a doormat, for i am not, but somthing aboute submitting to anothers will felt, natrual for me.

I am one of the lucky ones, i have a wonderfull fiance, my first love. He is also interested in BDSM and he is Dominant. We tried to have some play sessions form time to time, but it never realy worked, i simply could not acept the role when it was just, some houers on the bed room and then back to normal life. Over some years we desided that a 24/7 BDSM lifestyle might be right for us, and i set out searching for information aboute it, and generaly pepole to share experiences whit.

Now i have a goal in my life, i am an Occultist and i am fasinated by that. And i have dedicated my life to the study and practice of the Occult. Wierd some of you might think, but for me it is my passion, i could never give it up. But werry often when contacting other pepole in the BDSM comunity, both Dominants and Submissives i was told that a 24/7 sub could not have his or her own intrest and goals, he or she had to live enierly for her Dom, and ever inention in her would be to make him or her happy.

I need to follow my path, i am first and formost an Occultist. And as such i have goals outside making my Dom happy. This intrest alos take up alot of time, so i can not take all of the housework. Am i a bad sub become of this? Am i not good enoh to be a sub becouse i can not give up everything that is me and leve my mission in life. Somtimes i feel so frustrated, for theese questions will not leve my mind. I will not give up on my occult studies! But i also want to be a good sub for my Dom.

Post #: 1

RE: One sub girl`s frustration. - 12/31/2004 5:10:57 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

If your dom is ok with you pursuing your occult interests and sharing some of the housework then there shouldn't be any problem calling it a 24/7 D/s relationship. Each relationship is different and sets its own rules.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to nella)

Post #: 2

RE: One sub girl`s frustration. - 12/31/2004 5:27:22 PM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

Yes, i guess. He want me to study and says he want me to be happy and studying the Occult is a big part of being happy for me.

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 3

RE: One sub girl`s frustration. - 12/31/2004 5:54:24 PM

harmony3709

Posts: 292
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline

If you feel that being an occultist and a submissive are your desire and your calling, I think that by doing what is in your heart will make you more happy and a better submissive, as well as as other things in your life. If someone has a busy career or small children or other things in their life that take up their vanilla time, that does not make them less of a submissive. As a matter of fact, I find that when I am involved in a relationship and serving, I am better at everything else in my life as well.

Hopefully it should not be a matter of choosing one over the other, but maybe just a matter of you and your Dom having to choose which activities you can fit into your schedule and your life at this time and which ones take priority. And no, I certainly don't think that makes you any less of a submissive.

*huggs* and good luck in your new journey,

harmony

(in reply to nella)

Post #: 4

RE: One sub girl`s frustration. - 12/31/2004 6:02:09 PM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

We have considerd daly littel symbolic activities, like kissing His feet when he get out of bed and other such things, that do not take up alot of time, but thast is werry symbolic and psycological.

(in reply to harmony3709)

Post #: 5

RE: One sub girl`s frustration. - 1/1/2005 3:08:00 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

Of course you can have personal interests Within a D/s or M/s relationship! My slave isn't my only interest, just my most important.... But I make time for the other things and it's healthy she has something to occupy her when I'm distracted elsewhere....

Dunno much about the occult but you should definitely avoid people telling you what you can or can't do in your own relationship! The only restrictions that should have any bearing on a sub are those which her Master put in place....

But you also need to get your priorities in order - I doubt any self-respecting Dom is gonna run second to his sub's occult interests.... If I were your Master, I'd allow you your other interest, but serving me comes FIRST!

Focus50.

Attachment (1)

(in reply to nella)

Post #: 6

RE: One sub girl`s frustration. - 1/1/2005 4:17:19 AM

houndguy

Posts: 39
Joined: 6/27/2004
From: Pittsburgh, PA - USA
Status: offline

I agree with everything that has been said so far.

It sounds like this man truly loves you and that he has your happiness in mind by letting you grow and explore things that interest you.

Now, I have to say something here that is off topic. Please learn how to use proper English and spelling. It's OK to make mistakes, we all do it, but the original post was annoying with the amount of errors. I now return you to your regular scheduled program.

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 7

RE: One sub girl`s frustration. - 1/1/2005 4:40:52 AM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

are you a bad sub?

well if you have a good Dom then you'll find out

now think of it this way. So you have some new interest that's keeping you from doing some chours 24/7 at home. Well you made that choice. I'm pretty sure your Dom is going to keep you. Just know that if you are willing to except the consiquences ie punishment, then by all means enjoy your new interest. As Thomas Jefferson once stated "No pain no gain."

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to nella)

Post #: 8

RE: One sub girl`s frustration. - 1/1/2005 8:00:40 AM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

quote:

Now, I have to say something here that is off topic. Please learn how to use proper English and spelling. It's OK to make mistakes, we all do it, but the original post was annoying with the amount of errors.

M. Hound-

Poor spelling grammar usually grates on me, too, but I am prone in this case observe that her english is much much better than my Norwegian.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to houndguy)

Post #: 9

RE: One sub girl`s frustration. - 1/1/2005 8:03:52 AM

topcat

Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline

Midear Nella-

If it is Your M.'s desire to be served by a well-rounded person with varied interests, it is your duty to him to pursue your outside interests, IMO.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to nella)

Post #: 10

RE: One sub girl`s frustration. - 1/1/2005 8:11:21 AM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline

Thank you for all your responses. It has been interesting reading and i thank you for taking time to answer my questions. As for my priorities, that is the problem now isent it. I was an Occultist long before i was a sub, it is not somthing i am interested in, it is somthing i am, it will always be my number one priority, for it is the development of my werry soul.

As for my spelling, it always anoyes me when i am told such things as get your spelling in order. I am Norweegian, i write english to the best of my abilities. If you have a forum where it says only pepole from Englsih speaking luanguages alowed and no dyslectics alowed, then sure, pick on pepole`s spelling, but if it says that on this forum then it is well hidden for i did not see it.

(in reply to topcat)

Post #: 11

RE: One sub girl`s frustration. - 1/1/2005 10:32:15 AM

cynnacent1

Posts: 340
Joined: 6/25/2004
From: Massachusetts
Status: offline

It's fairly obvious that English may be a second language for nella. By the way, you may appreciate knowing that your profile contains a few errors.

¸,ø¤º°cynnacent°º¤ø,¸ (proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND)

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Current imood of cynnacent1: [image]http://moods.imood.com/display/uname=cynnacent1/fg=339999ns=1/imood.gif[/image] Click the smiley to get your very own imood indicator.

(in reply to houndguy)

Post #: 12

RE: One sub girl`s frustration. - 1/1/2005 10:37:53 AM

cynnacent1

Posts: 340
Joined: 6/25/2004
From: Massachusetts
Status: offline

nella,

As long as your Dominant is happy, and pleased with you, i see no reason to worry.
Of course, you should communicate your concerns to him to be certain.
BDSM & D/s should not be defined by any examples of 'one size fits all' ideals. Everyone is different. Everyone has their own tastes and preferrences. Talk with your Dominant.

P.S. Don't let the comment about your spelling bother you. It didn't bother me, due to my own tendacies with my own spelling being less than perfect at times. It read just fine here for me. No one here is perfect. No one here can expect anyone else to be perfect.

¸,ø¤º°cynnacent°º¤ø,¸ (proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND)

< Message edited by cynnacent1 -- 1/1/2005 10:43:22 AM >

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(in reply to nella)

Post #: 13

RE: One sub girl`s frustration. - 1/1/2005 10:41:26 AM

Kinkypupper

Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline

Each relationship is different and its all the diversitys here that make it so nice..

I can only speak for myself.
A slave that has no mind nor no opinions is a VERY dull person. My first wife was like that she had no desire except to please me except it became very VERY boring when i had to tell her to do anything and everything.
I was married to her in late 70's early 80's and we were into swinging. many events we went to many people there thought i was forcing her to go as all she did was sit and did "nothing" They did not understand she was just sitting there waiting to be told to DO something. For many that may sound like an ideal slave. yet in reality it was torture. I want one who is "part' vanilla and has their own desires, wishes, goals and interests. and yet if i even look at her she knows what i want and does not hesitate.

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to nella)

Post #: 14

RE: One sub girl`s frustration. - 1/1/2005 6:48:06 PM

realophelia

Posts: 168
Status: offline

quote:

As for my spelling, it always anoyes me when i am told such things as get your spelling in order. I am Norweegian, i write english to the best of my abilities.

I thought your post was articulate, as well as interesting. Please don't let anyone discourage you from posting.

Best of luck with your studies :)

Ophelia

< Message edited by realophelia -- 1/1/2005 6:51:19 PM >

_____________________________

"And every one of them words rang true And glowed like burning coal Pouring off of every page Like it was written in my soul..."

(in reply to nella)

Post #: 15

RE: One sub girl`s frustration. - 1/1/2005 6:54:33 PM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

Well said! Spelling (or grammar) isn't as important as being able to understand what you're saying - and I had no trouble doing that....

Focus50.

(in reply to Kinkypupper)

Post #: 16

RE: One sub girl`s frustration. - 1/1/2005 7:48:45 PM

Rogo

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline

I am new here....how do I start?

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 17

RE: One sub girl`s frustration. - 1/1/2005 7:50:12 PM

Rogo

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline

opps...meant that message for realophelia

(in reply to realophelia)

Post #: 18

RE: One sub girl`s frustration. - 1/2/2005 12:17:34 AM

DaddyAngel

Posts: 18
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline

I'd have to say this, I wouldn't want a slave who did not have interests of their own. Having interests of their own makes a slave more unique and interesting, thus making them more valuable a possession to me. A dishrag with no interests or opinions, one who parrots my opinions and ideas back to me, will give me very little reason to value them.

(in reply to Rogo)

Post #: 19

RE: One sub girl`s frustration. - 1/2/2005 12:24:17 AM

domtimothy46176

Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline

In my opinion, your submission should be a fulfillment of your potential and should not force you to become less than who and what you are in any way. The way your submission to your master manifests is up to the two of you. If you are true to yourself in all things then you will find contentment no matter where that path takes you.

be well,
Timothy

(in reply to Rogo)

Post #: 20

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