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Submission vs. accedence vs. doormat - 12/31/2004 11:56:33 PM   
kyakitten


Posts: 145
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline 		deleted

< Message edited by kyakitten -- 10/5/2005 9:01:56 PM >
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RE: Submission vs. accedence vs. doormat - 1/1/2005 1:00:10 AM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline 		You surrendered to his judgement by being at his party. If he thought you were impaired, he did the right thing, no matter if you thought you were sober enough to drive home. If you were impaired and something unfortunate happened on the way home, both you and he would regret it. He would epecially regret it even more than you as he could have been held responsible for letting you drive home in an impaired state and opened himself up to the wonderful world of criminal and/or civil litigation.

You're home, nobody is hurt and it's a brand new year. What's to be angry about?

Happy New Year,

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to kyakitten)
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RE: Submission vs. accedence vs. doormat - 1/1/2005 6:32:35 AM   
Tristan


Posts: 330
Joined: 5/31/2004
Status: offline 		Spitcat,

I agree with sfgrrl in that you are home safe and your host erred on the side of safety, which was probably the right thing to do in that situation. However, I think you are asking another question - "how does a sub ever decide if s/he is making the wise decision or the perpetual doormat's concession?" We all have the same question. If one is dominant, the question becomes knowing what the right action is. If one is submissive, maybe its more about knowing when to support your partner. I suppose this question is really about how does any of us know if we are making the wise decision. The only answer I have is to follow your heart. Do what you truly feel to be the right thing and don't look back or second guess yourself. If your wrong (and you will be from time to time), appologize, make changes, and move on. Wisdom often comes more from our mistakes than our successes.

Tristan

(in reply to stef)
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RE: Submission vs. accedence vs. doormat - 1/1/2005 7:31:29 AM   
topcat


Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline 		Midear Spitcat-

Wow- Gin does make for a mean drunk!

Just Kidding<g>.

quote:

Where is that bright line between dignity and courtesy that I can't seem to find? Or is it the line between self-reliance and outside determination? "#$@&*!", I'm tired of not knowing the answers all the time, but I'm even more tired of acceding to well-meaning dolts!


I really don't see this as anything to do with D/S- it's more a human question, and reading between the lines, I think you were likely over the BAC level for driving. So you got a ride home, and getting your car this morning will be a hassle.

I hope you had a lovely New Years Eve anyway.

Stay warm,

Lawrence

_____________________________

-there is no remission without blood-

(in reply to kyakitten)
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RE: Submission vs. accedence vs. doormat - 1/1/2005 7:40:08 AM   
RealityFix


Posts: 156
Joined: 8/12/2004
Status: offline 		He was trying to be nice.

Quit bitching, and call a cab to go get your car. I don't see this as being much about D/s at all,just common sense.

(in reply to topcat)
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RE: Submission vs. accedence vs. doormat - 1/1/2005 9:41:17 AM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		I think you should be thankful you had such a thoughtful host and be glad you got home safely. Happy New Year.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


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RE: Submission vs. accedence vs. doormat - 1/1/2005 10:47:14 AM   
Kinkypupper


Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline 		Any host of a party has to err on the extreme safe side anymore.
and they should.
It is not a comment of Dom/sub or submitting. Its a FACT of reality/Lawyers.
Has nothing to do with weather you were or were not drunk. Its being a good host.
They should be thanked for their concern weather it was founded or not.
They also after being thanked will probably assist you in getting your car back.


_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to kyakitten)
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RE: Submission vs. accedence vs. doormat - 1/1/2005 12:06:56 PM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		Ever heard that Men are DOGS? Being nice? well maybe. Trying to get some ass? Most likely. It's not a bad pick up line either "I think you had a little to much to drink, I could take you home if you'd like" You can have 3 responsies to this
1. Sure I'd appreciate that
2. I'm fine thank you. Thanks but no thanks.
3. Thanks but I think someone needs to drive you home as well.

I myself don't see this as a Dom Sub issue. More of a where can this go situation. It's all you after you get asked the question. Weither the guy is trying to serve you with a ride or dominate you into I'm in control and taking care of this, it's your call in where you want it to go.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to kyakitten)
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RE: Submission vs. accedence vs. doormat - 1/1/2005 1:07:28 PM   
INSIDEYOURMIND


Posts: 483
Status: offline 		Did ya ever noticed on the TV show Cops, when the officer asks the guy who can't stand up, and just pulled out of his car he flipped, if he has been drinking, they always say no....................................

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, I wore a tight mini skirt, and no one picked me up!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I got drunk, and had to be driven home!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA My car is 10 miles from me!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Go get your car, be glad someone cared more about you than you did for yourself at the moment, and get the hell over it!

Oh, and Happy FN New Year.

_____________________________

If I got smart with you.................
How would you know?

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Submission vs. accedence vs. doormat - 1/1/2005 1:22:55 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		No Flame - Just a point of information.

I always felt New Year's Eve was amateur night, so unless I hosted a party I didn't "party". Last night my daughter and her entourage visiting from college wanted to go celebrate in Santa Monica, about 15 miles up the road from our place in Redondo. I became the "designated Dad".

Because our normal mode of transportation is 2 seat convertible, I rented a GMC Yukon for their visit. About 3 miles up PCH I was pulled over by an Eric Estrada imitator, who said I was weaving all over the road. I'm sure I was. It felt like I was piloting a boat. I tried to explain that the Yukon was not as responsive as my Z3 but I still had to go through the "follow the finger " game. YEAH - I WON!

Anyway, other then being a great scare tactic for my daughter and her friends driving ambitions during their stay, you should take it as a lesson and ask if you would have "Won" the game last night, or made it home in one piece.

(in reply to kyakitten)
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RE: Submission vs. accedence vs. doormat - 1/1/2005 5:05:24 PM   
darkpetal


Posts: 24
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: INSIDEYOURMIND

Did ya ever noticed on the TV show Cops, when the officer asks the guy who can't stand up, and just pulled out of his car he flipped, if he has been drinking, they always say no....................................

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, I wore a tight mini skirt, and no one picked me up!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I got drunk, and had to be driven home!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA My car is 10 miles from me!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Go get your car, be glad someone cared more about you than you did for yourself at the moment, and get the hell over it!

Oh, and Happy FN New Year.



why do people respond this way?
for waht purpose...to put their opinion out there as more superior than other's?
or just to be an asshole?

(in reply to INSIDEYOURMIND)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Submission vs. accedence vs. doormat - 1/1/2005 6:31:15 PM   
kyakitten


Posts: 145
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline 		deleted

< Message edited by kyakitten -- 10/5/2005 9:02:47 PM >

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RE: Submission vs. accedence vs. doormat - 1/1/2005 9:02:30 PM   
Nvernilla


Posts: 303
Joined: 10/1/2004
Status: offline 		Well before I stopped alchohol use there were many times I thought I was good to go and wasn't. Finally I got a DWI, Have you checked out what a DWI costs? You may be better off to thank him imstead of copping an attitude...

(in reply to kyakitten)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Submission vs. accedence vs. doormat - 1/1/2005 9:54:09 PM   
kyakitten


Posts: 145
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline 		deleted

< Message edited by kyakitten -- 10/5/2005 9:03:38 PM >

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RE: Submission vs. accedence vs. doormat - 1/2/2005 7:43:14 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

Can any other subs relate? If so, are there guidelines you use for figuring out when to go with your gut and when to defer? (Note, I'm not talking about choosing whether or when to defer to your Dom, I'm talking about with business colleagues or friends.)


kya,

This kind of statement would be a good answer when defining the difference between a slave and a submissive. It also is a good answer to why I wouldn't be interested in a slave who had another 'life'. If a slave had to act 'masterly' in a business world she would have to have a mind distracted in a place I wanted her to avoid. That was part of what beth had to give up when she became my slave. Not only in her current status, but also the long term possibility.

(in reply to kyakitten)
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RE: Submission vs. accedence vs. doormat - 1/2/2005 9:00:22 AM   
bottominwa


Posts: 240
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		Merc,

LoL! the girl relates...when Our daughter was a year old this one was switching her to just sippy cups..so at 3 am when she couldn't find a bottle and baby girl was screaming Master sent her to Wal Mart to buy one...so she goes driving to Wal Mart and she thinks the turn is sooner than it is having just gotten to this new post, so she signals and gets in turn lane..then sees, oh no not this turn, so she signals and gets back in right lane and proceeds forward then signals at right exit then next one and gets back in turn lane...she gets pulled over by highway patrol yelling "get out of the car get out of the car" Louisiana...lol, now in WA, where she is from you never get out of the car if pulled over, they say "stay in the car, stay in the car"....so she sits in the car...so the highway patrol comes up and pulls the door open and all but drags her out and when he starts questioning her as to why she is out she in her half asleep idicoy says "to get a bottle" lol.
And he says "well the liquor stores is closed" and then it dawns on her "oh he thinks i am drunk" which starts a laughing fit...which doesn't help her case so she too had to walk the line of shame, finger on nose/ spone bob flannel jammie bottoms, garfield slippers and an all too revealing tank top on....people honking as they went by lmao.

lol,

sabrina King

House of King

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Submission vs. accedence vs. doormat - 1/2/2005 11:27:55 AM   
Solaise


Posts: 64
Joined: 11/29/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Thank you everybody who gave advice. I woke up this morning realizing I really just ought to be grateful to have a friend that cares that much and who really cares who was right? Thanks Merc & Beth and Stef & everyone who pointed that out. I'd like to blame my bad behavior on drunken typing, but who knows? Sometimes I'm just dumb and stubborn.

Tristan - you understood what I was trying to ask. Thanks for a really thoughtful answer. Maybe I'll go post something a little more sedately phrased in the sub section.

Topcat - red wine and champagne.

And insideYourOwnMind - I agree. I'm sorry I started this thread in such a stupid way, thereby begetting your matching answer.

Happy New Year to all!


I'm glad you realized this in hindsight. It sounds like your host was absolutely correct.

Happy New Year. Glad you're still with us.

< Message edited by Solaise -- 1/2/2005 11:29:10 AM >

(in reply to kyakitten)
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RE: Submission vs. accedence vs. doormat - 1/2/2005 7:27:18 PM   
kyakitten


Posts: 145
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline 		Thanks Solaise!

(in reply to Solaise)
Profile   Post #: 18
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