Dear Diary (Full Version)

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MasterRenegade77 -> Dear Diary (8/24/2006 9:26:49 AM)

Dear Diary:



May 30th:


Just moved to Georgia.  Now this is a State that knows how to live!!
Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings.  What a place!Watched the
sunset from a park lying on a blanket.  It was beautiful.  I've finally
found my home.  I love it here.




June 14th:


Really heating up.  Got to 100 today.  Not a problem.  Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car.  What a pleasure to see
the sun everyday like this.  I'm turning into a sun worshipper.




June 30th:


Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today.  Lots of cactus and
rocks.  What a breeze to maintain.  No more mowing lawn for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.




July 10th:


The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week.How do people get used to
this kind of heat?  At least it's kind of windy though.  But getting used to
the heat and humidity is taking longer that I expected.




July 15th:


Fell asleep by the pool.  (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.)Missed
3 days of work.  What a dumb thing to do.

I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the old sun in a climate like
this.




July 20th:


I missed Morgan (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning.
By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Morgan had died and swollen up
to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $2,000 leather upholstery. I
told the kids that she ran away.  The car now smells like Kibbles and shits.
I learned my lesson though.  No more pets in this heat.




July 25th:


The wind sucks.  It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!!  And it's hot
as hell.  The home air-conditioner is on the Fritz and the AC repairman
charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.




July 30th:



Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now.  $1,500 in damn house
payments and we can't even go inside.  Why did I ever come here?




August 4th:



It's 105 degrees.  Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500
and gets the temperature down to 85, but this freaking humidity makes the
house feels like it's about 95.  Stupid repairman pissed in my pool I hate
this stupid city.





August 8th:



If another wise ass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?", I'm going to
strangle him.  Damn heat.  By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling
over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!




August 9th:



Tried to run some errands after work.  Wore shorts and sat on the black
leather seats in the "ole" car.  I thought my ass was on fire.  I lost two
layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and ass.  Now my car
smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.




August 10th:


The weather report might as well be a damn recording.  Hot and sunny. Hot
and sunny.  Hot and sunny.  It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn
months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.  Doesn't
it ever rain in this damn desert??  Water rationing will be next, so might
as well watch $1700 worth of cactus just dry up and blow into the damn pool.
Even the cactus can't live in this damn heat.




August 15th:



Welcome to HELL!!!  Temperature got to 105 today.  Forgot to crack the
window and blew the damn windshield out of the car.  The installer came to
fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $1500
house payment to bail me out of jail.  Freaking South. What kind of a sick
demented idiot would want to live here??





RipChord -> RE: Dear Diary (8/24/2006 1:09:17 PM)

Now, After spending a summer in Georgia, I tried to explain to people how ridicolous the place was, compared to the Irish summers. You hit the nail on the proverbial head.

Thanks for a great laugh.

Ripchord



ThatLilBrat -> True story (8/27/2006 3:14:12 PM)

Friends  have  such  good  intentions 
I  got  a  call  from  a  friend.   He  stated  that  he  heard on the national news that it was 136 degrees in Phoenix.  [image]http://www.collarme.com/htmlarea/smileys/0395.gif[/image]There was a very long pause
... I was waiting for it
... I sighed dramatically
... rolled my eyes 

... He didn't disappoint me. ...
... Yep, he added insult to injury by saying
 " .... but it's a dry heat"   [image]http://www.collarme.com/htmlarea/smileys/0014.gif[/image] 
I so wanted to pinch him but I just sighed again.  
I calmly and quietly asked him: ... "Where and how do you think they make beef jerky? They toss it on the sidewalks of Phoenix"



ToServeIsToLive -> RE: True story (8/27/2006 3:40:48 PM)

Where I am in Florida the humidity never goes below 100%... : (  I'd rather be in 136 degree 0% humidity than 95 degree weather and drown in a pool of my own sweat.



smilezz -> RE: True story (8/27/2006 4:53:36 PM)

quote:

" .... but it's a dry heat"   [image]http://www.collarme.com/htmlarea/smileys/0014.gif[/image] 

I so wanted to pinch him but I just sighed again.  

I calmly and quietly asked him: ... "Where and how do you think they make beef jerky? They toss it on the sidewalks of Phoenix"

*falls over laughing*  ohhhhhhhhh yeah, it's a dry heat alright.....maybe 50+ years ago.   Gadz!

~smilezz~ 




Saratov -> RE: True story (8/27/2006 5:37:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatLilBrat
 " .... but it's a dry heat"   [image]http://www.collarme.com/htmlarea/smileys/0014.gif[/image] 
I so wanted to pinch him but I just sighed again.  
I calmly and quietly asked him: ... "Where and how do you think they make beef jerky? They toss it on the sidewalks of Phoenix"


[8|] Aren't ya glad you don't have the job of going around turning and collecting them. [;)]  [:D]



LotusSong -> RE: True story (8/27/2006 6:15:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatLilBrat

 " .... but it's a dry heat"   [image]http://www.collarme.com/htmlarea/smileys/0014.gif[/image] 
I so wanted to pinch him but I just sighed again.  
I calmly and quietly asked him: ... "Where and how do you think they make beef jerky? They toss it on the sidewalks of Phoenix"


And don't cha just love it!~  I tell them  "Dry Heat is more comfortable?  Ok.. set your oven to 110.. climb inside and tell me how long you last"



MasterNdorei -> RE: True story (8/28/2006 12:02:58 AM)

i live on the desert floor. After the last heat wave i was never so happy to see 105 degrees in my life!!!

Seems wierd just to type it....

Master's dorei



wild1cfl -> RE: True story (8/28/2006 12:09:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatLilBrat

 " .... but it's a dry heat"   [image]http://www.collarme.com/htmlarea/smileys/0014.gif[/image] 
I so wanted to pinch him but I just sighed again.  
I calmly and quietly asked him: ... "Where and how do you think they make beef jerky? They toss it on the sidewalks of Phoenix"



Oh yea it is LOL
I was born and raised in Phoenix, then I moved to Georgia with the chiggers and sand gnats. Then I moved to Orlando with I-4 being full at 4 a.m and the humidity being 100% all day long in the summer. Then I moved back to Arizona to the mountains where it is only 95 during the hottest days of the summer and I am here to stay.



nicochan -> RE: True story (8/28/2006 2:38:15 AM)

Reminds me of a story my best friend told me. (We're from Louisiana BTW... Gonzales her, Baton Rouge, me.) She went with her family to visit an aunt and uncle in Colorado. They were walking around one day when the weather was around 70, 75 degrees. I told her it sounded awesome to have that kind of temperature... no freezing her ass off! Yay! Then she said that everyone else, apparently locals, were shuffling along saying, "Oh man, it's so hot!" and fanning themselves.

I feel sorry for people in the heatwave... but when the weather man says "it's 90 in so-and-so," I think, "Oh really? It's anywhere from 96-100 any given day from March to October, and we freeze the rest of the time. They should report that we have only 2 seasons here." [:D] Humidity's a bitch, I'd love to know what "dry heat" is, because I have sweat covering my chest within 5 minutes of going outside in the summer.



mons -> RE: True story (8/28/2006 2:53:58 AM)

masterR greetings
where did you live before? it is always hot in the east and south i live in nj and it was so hot during the summer i was like oh well but we got use to it we live in it for years wow i am sorry it so hot and your poor cat sorry for that one too i think if you do not move fast you willl be okay think cool it stays hot at night too take care i did like reading your diary
 
mons



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