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When you just KNOW! - 8/24/2006 6:09:24 PM   
LotusSong


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What one thing about a person.. alerts you that they are into D/sBDSM?

What do you look for?

As for me..I sense it.  Must be some kind of Domme-dar :)

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 8/24/2006 6:14:37 PM >


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RE: When you just KNOW! - 8/24/2006 6:12:42 PM   
Slipstreme


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I seem to be flaming enough that it sort of brings it out of people. I have 4, possibly 6 people who would cite their interest or active pursuit in BDSM stemming from being around or talking to me.

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RE: When you just KNOW! - 8/24/2006 6:14:20 PM   
OnyxGoddess


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You always get a sense about someone from their eyes but I like to confirm my suspicion by testing them.    If a person says they are into something and I challenge them to it and they back out...well there ya have it.

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RE: When you just KNOW! - 8/24/2006 6:14:26 PM   
mstrjx


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Lotus, I apologize for 'seeming' like this isn't a serious answer.....

Because they have a profile.

I would love to think I could walk into the grocery store and entice the lady looking at the lettuce into WIITWD.  I know I'm charming enough.  It's just not my style.  Nor do I go through real life assuming some level of kink in others.

Now I admit there was this one time......... and as fun as it was, it only lasted the one time.

Jeff

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RE: When you just KNOW! - 8/24/2006 6:29:34 PM   
MasterFireMaam


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It's fairly unusual in my town for anyone over the age of 22 to wear anything resembling a collar. So, that's a dead give-away. But, usually, I can't tell by just looking at them...I have to talk to them. I'm not overly shy about things. In fact, I found myself saying to my boss today, "There's a fetish for EVERYthing. TRUST me." LMAO

Master Fire


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RE: When you just KNOW! - 8/24/2006 6:39:33 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Slipstreme

I seem to be flaming enough that it sort of brings it out of people. I have 4, possibly 6 people who would cite their interest or active pursuit in BDSM stemming from being around or talking to me.


It's the same with me. People just naturally fall into treating me as someone who's "hiding some naughty secret". It usually comes across as playful joking, but most of the time I suspect it's their radar alerting them, and they just aren't trusting their instinct.

I can't tell you how many times people have made comments about me that hint at their suspicion that there's more to me than meets the eye. And this has been the case since I was a teen-ager!

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RE: When you just KNOW! - 8/24/2006 7:01:44 PM   
LotusSong


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quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

Lotus, I apologize for 'seeming' like this isn't a serious answer.....

Because they have a profile.

I would love to think I could walk into the grocery store and entice the lady looking at the lettuce into WIITWD.  I know I'm charming enough.  It's just not my style.  Nor do I go through real life assuming some level of kink in others.

Now I admit there was this one time......... and as fun as it was, it only lasted the one time.

Jeff


I know my one thing I do..while engaged in a conversation.. I'll slip in.. "You should be spanked for that, you know..."  and I get sly smile back :)

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RE: When you just KNOW! - 8/24/2006 8:07:06 PM   
DoctorDubious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

What one thing about a person.. alerts you that they are into D/sBDSM?

What do you look for?

As for me..I sense it.  Must be some kind of Domme-dar :)



Dear Lotus... and all....

When you grab her by the hair
and pull her down the hall to the dungeon
she was teasing you about ....... and it's not that hard to pull....


DD

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RE: When you just KNOW! - 8/24/2006 8:14:20 PM   
DoctorDubious


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On a more serious note,
I just talk to the woman I am interested in...

and we talk about our lives, and our hopes,
our longings .... stuff we've done, stuff we'd like to do...
stuff we do for work... for play ... for hobbies... for sports...

and if it goes well, and turns more intimate,
I might mention that I like to tie up my lover
and play with her helpless body in delightful ways...

One generally does not have to be an expert in body language
and calibrating subtly responses in order to notice what's going on after that one...

DD
PS... and I have had absolutely no luck
at intuiting who will be attracted and repelled ...
... people continue to thrill, amaze, and fascinate me with their complexity
       and unpredictability....

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RE: When you just KNOW! - 8/24/2006 8:14:46 PM   
mistoferin


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong
[I know my one thing I do..while engaged in a conversation.. I'll slip in.. "You should be spanked for that, you know..."  and I get sly smile back :)


I don't think that would give me a very good indication. I think that the vast majority of people who may crack that sly smile...or who may even enjoy a little spanking with their sex....really have very little interest in BDSM or WIITWD. I think there are a lot of "vanillas" out there who enjoy a little spanking.

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RE: When you just KNOW! - 8/24/2006 8:35:44 PM   
Emperor1956


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The iron manacles and the chain usually tip Me off.

E

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"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

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RE: When you just KNOW! - 8/24/2006 9:26:36 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Other than wearing kinky paraphernalia, there's no clear sign.  Not to mention how often doms and subs complain about being perceived as their opposite orientation.

I do have "radar" that I enjoy employing on people, but there's no way I could tell someone what to do with that other than do a lot of people watching and become more aware of the energy people have.

Unless someone sends a blaring signal to me, I don't even think about it.  If I get a clear signal, I take it to be the universe trying to bonk me on the head and take it from there, but otherwise...doesn't much matter.

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RE: When you just KNOW! - 8/25/2006 2:44:01 AM   
ExSteelAgain


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This may seem like a chicken or the egg answer, but I can tell if I get intimate with them first. I know...duh.

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RE: When you just KNOW! - 8/25/2006 3:31:09 AM   
RavenMuse


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I find it quite hard to tell.

As helen can tell you, I have quite a habit of getting a rather submissive responce out of just about anyone around me. From shop assistants, to officials, to some random person in the pub. So it can be a bit tricky to spot if it is something natural to their nature or just a reaction to Me.

I tend to rely on verbal clues. If I suspect they maybe D/s I might drop in a comment about 'bloody vanillas' and take note of how they react. If they obviously recognise the context, then the conversation can head in that direction.


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RE: When you just KNOW! - 8/25/2006 3:54:55 AM   
popeye1250


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

Lotus, I apologize for 'seeming' like this isn't a serious answer.....

Because they have a profile.

I would love to think I could walk into the grocery store and entice the lady looking at the lettuce into WIITWD.  I know I'm charming enough.  It's just not my style.  Nor do I go through real life assuming some level of kink in others.

Now I admit there was this one time......... and as fun as it was, it only lasted the one time.

Jeff


I know my one thing I do..while engaged in a conversation.. I'll slip in.. "You should be spanked for that, you know..."  and I get sly smile back :)

Ha,Ha, Lotus, I've done that before too!
Also, I find that for some reason "shy" women are into it too.

(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: When you just KNOW! - 8/25/2006 7:46:38 AM   
genusnpimptress


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A quick game of truth or dare is a good way to find out. But then again most of the new ppl i meet, i meet them while standing waiting for my turn on the cross...LOL

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RE: When you just KNOW! - 8/25/2006 8:13:29 AM   
littlesubjess


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i like to look at couples and see if there is anything like the collar showing or perhaps a bracelet like that from Story of O ... obvious clues i know. My last Dom told me (slightly off the subject) ... that if you see a woman wearing a finger on her longest finger on her left hand, it means shes bi-sexual. he had studied pyschology and told me that if your bisexual, your subconsious plays a part in deciding which ring goes on which finger .... a sure sign that a woman was bisexual ... i have yet to test this theory but i must admit that if i see an attractive woman i always look at her left hand, just to see lol ... i think my ex may possibly have been pulling my leg ... what does everyone else think to that ? 

Anywayyyyy .... I always wear my collar - its a red leather one with silver studs. i often wonder if there are people who see that and know and understand what its there for. I went home to my Mums house once and forgot to take it off. She was like, "ohh whats that round your neck ? is that a dog collar ???" ... lol ... i was like "yeah mum it is .. theyre really fashionable you know !" hehe ... and she was like "ohhh Jessica, what a funny taste you have in clothes" lololol ... made me laugh anyway.

hee hee

Jess xxx

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RE: When you just KNOW! - 8/25/2006 8:26:37 AM   
genusnpimptress


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I am trying to find something that i can wear in public and i have come up empty handed :(...I do look or some signs tho, such as the way that they present something or hand me (or their partner) a cup. I will have to agree that it is the small details that matter.

But i am a playful girl and i have my own tricks...*blushes*

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RE: When you just KNOW! - 8/25/2006 8:52:50 AM   
LotusSong


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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong
[I know my one thing I do..while engaged in a conversation.. I'll slip in.. "You should be spanked for that, you know..."  and I get sly smile back :)


I don't think that would give me a very good indication. I think that the vast majority of people who may crack that sly smile...or who may even enjoy a little spanking with their sex....really have very little interest in BDSM or WIITWD. I think there are a lot of "vanillas" out there who enjoy a little spanking.


I should have added.. there is an"energy" along with it :)


My husband jokes "If there's one in town.. you find them!"

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 8/25/2006 8:53:52 AM >


_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


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RE: When you just KNOW! - 8/25/2006 10:07:27 AM   
popeye1250


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Lotus, I do it a lot!
Last week the young lady at the bank made a minor error with one of my accounts and said she was sorry and I just blurted out; "Don't give me sorry, you're just begging for a good hard spanking, aren't you?"
She kind of looked at me funny then laughed.

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