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MasterDsbabygirl -> RE: Mistakes and Apologies (1/2/2005 10:10:40 AM)
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Hi nessie, I'm babygirl and I've had 7 yrs of online experience in D/s. I found that normally online relationships didn't last more then a year or 2, but that being said I wanted to say this.
Developing any relationship weither online or realtime takes work. You said you are new to the lifestyle and you can't expect every Dominant you speak to, to be the perfect Master. Some are very new themselves. This doesn't make them a bad man. This makes them inexperienced and trying to gain their footing in this lifestyle. I found that most Doms who are that assertive are only trying to find their way. Like a teenager asserting their independence. I mean no disrespect for Dominants when I say this. I'm just saying that they are trying to find what fits and what doesn't. If you really like this Dom then talk to him. The ONLY thing that will help is honesty! I had spent very long time online lying about who I was so no one would get to know the real me. I decided one day that I will NOT lie anymore. I joined a yahoo group and I got to know a very nice Dom. Who I had bascially told to go take a flying leep in the beginning. Because he was trying to teach me that real time relationships were better then online. I was so upset over that. He apologized to me because he saw how passionate I was about the bulls...t i was taught online. He decided to take another approach. I am now collared to him real time and he is the most amazing man I ever met. He controls me with just a look! He did set out the rules when we started talking just like your Dom is. This is how you get to know what he expects and what he is like. My God I can't tell you the number of misunderstandings we have had while typing back and forth.
Ask him politely to refrain from giving you any orders at this time as you do NOT wear his collar, but you will gladly discuss what he would eventually expect later on. Be truthful as he just may be trying to figure out how to have a relationship with you the same as you will with him.
I am very new to real time relationships and when I first was collared to my Master I had the attitude "whip me beat me tie me up and nail me to the wall I want to please you" God he had to hold me back i was so eager to learn. I hated being held back and I have to admit I wondered how Dom he really was because of this. Then I discovered that just holding me back was a task that he enjoyed very much. this also gave him time to learn about me. You can only learn so much online, but if this is as far as you can go with a relationship then there is not a thing wrong with that. Online is a great place to learn your feelings and values, but you can also be very hurt too so becareful and don't obey every Tom Dick and Harry that comes along.
My Master has told me that I am exactly where he wants me, even when I feel I need to move forward faster. He says "babygirl you are exactly where I want you." He is learning about my limits and after some very frustrating months in the beginning. I found that he is right. You have to go slow.
Truthfulness is the key nessie. If he has no respect for your truth then find someone else!
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