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SusanofO -> RE: Expectations of stay at home slaves (8/25/2006 8:50:20 AM)
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I agree with LA. And it does depend on one's standards, of course. I remember my mother used to just be so hyper about having everything "just so", and my father never understood it, and his favorite line to say to her, when she was wigging out about it was: "Relax, Patty. Lower your standards." But she had a really hard time doing that, because she was indeed a perfectionist about "keeping" the house.
So, if the Dominant or Master doesn't really have set standards as far as how some things should be maintained, and the submissive or slave does, or vice-versa, then I definitely think they should make a list of everything that may need to be done in and around the house that the submissive will be responsible for - or could be, and figure out together how long it might take, and how often different tasks might need to be done - to satisfy whatever the agreed-upon "standard" turns out to be. Which is, I guess what youre asking about. LA is right, there can be a lot more to it than some think. I can break it down to "every day or once a week" household management stuff, and periodic house managment stuff, I maintained alone, with little problem (except the yard work was done by a yard guy), for 15 years:
House-cleaning: How many rooms are there and how dirty do they get - and how clean is it reasonable to expect them to be, on an ongoing basis? It takes me two days, of about 6 hours each, every week if possible, if not every two weeks -to clean a 13 room house (2,200 sq. ft, approx.), with 3 bathrooms, and four bedrooms, a living room, dining room, kitchen, office, den, family room, laundry room, mud-room and an enclosed front porch. I am thorough and clean things other people might not clean (like tile grout, if it's dirty. I dust curtains, I wash the hard-wood floors on hands and knees, etc). Is this always necessary? Anyone going to actually die over dirty tile grout? How fast could I clean these rooms in an "emergency" (relatives coming tommorrow) - and is this "standard" okay for sometime cleaning, or not? Everday dusting, a vacuuming for "maintenance" of that 12 hour "deep cleaning"? About one, to one and a half hours a day.
Grocery shopping: I have a generic list of stuff I tend to buy every time I go to the store (which is every 2 weeks) Things like: Coffee, milk, bread, cereal, dogfood, toothpaste, cleaning supplies, garbage bags, rice, soup, veggies, fruit, juice and meat. I check "inventory" on that stuff, and then decide (plan, if possible) what meals I am making that will use items not already on that list and add them. If I don't want to plan meals in that level of detail, I buy at least enough vegetables, meat and rice or potatoes or pasta, and possibly dessert items, to make about two weeks worth of meals (and I've been doing it long enough that I know how much is probably needed). Planning all of this, and going to the store every two weeks, and shopping for two people (for one now, but sometimes two or more, like six, as I have friends and family over), plus two doggies, and carting it home, and putting it all away in the cupboards and fridge, takes about three to four hours every two weeks.
Laundry: Defintitely sort and wash and dry stuff in-btween doing othe things - not sure how long thnis takes, but my guess is a few (2-4) hours a week for two people, with folding and sorting.
Ironing: I do it, but not much. I tend to iron things right before I wear or use them, but do make sure they are clean. I estimate this at about two hours a week.
**So far, we are up to 30-36 hours a week for general housework. This does not include: Cooking.
Cooking: Depends on how much time there is. I love to cook. I can spend hours a day doing it. On the other hand, I could toss dinner together for 4-6 people in about a half hour, if I had to do it, and it would be more than edible. I'd estimate this at 1-1/2 - 2 hours a day (including loading a dishwasher and setting a table).
**So - we are now up to 38-50 hours a week.
Add to this: Bill paying, dog-walking, yard maintenance (if not taken care of by someone else, like a yard guy), and things requiring "periodic maintenance", such as: Carpet cleaning, snow shovelling (if not handled by a guy or yard guy), gardening (if this is considered necessary), maintaining things like hard-wood floors, laundering things like curtains, painting and repairing small items and applicances, painting rooms (possibly) and making sure the car(s) is/are taken in for maintenance on time. Taking pets to the vet. Taking oneself to the doctor, and making sure others in the house keep their doctor and dental and eye-care appointments. Holiday shopping, and wrapping of holiday gifts (no small task if you have a large family, and are not sure what anyone wants, and they don't want to tell you but want you to "guess"). Planning and executing any other "holiday" or special entertainment over the year (family and-or friends or business acquaintances for dinner, picnics, parties, etc.).
So anyway - that's a start on an idea of what this could possiby entail, in my opinion. And this is for a household with no children in it.
- Susan
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