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Profiles for those subs seeking a Domme or Mistress. - 8/26/2006 11:42:57 AM

sissy

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I run the subs seeking Dommes chatroom and have developed serveral tips to aid submissives and slaves in their seach. I'm hoping I could get some comments/suggestions from you Ladies on this latest one. Thank you.

Profile: Your profile should contain information that tells who you are. Statements like "A single father of 2 who loves to cook and enjoy's life raising two boys" gives the Domme some idea of what kind of person you are - and may spark interest. You ARE on a BDSM site so that part of your interest is already clear.
When searching for a Domme, tell Her what kind of a Woman you're seeking. This may be followed by what aspects of the lifestyle you have interest in and would like to explore. Remember, you are trying to make a connection with a real person so you want to come across as real.
Mention what activities you have no interest in participating in. And explain problems you would have in meeting or developing a relationship with a Domme. If you are married, it might be a good idea to say it here. If all your profile says is "seeking a strict Mistress to serve", good luck as you're going to need it.

Thanks again, sissy

Post #: 1

RE: Profiles for those subs seeking a Domme or Mistress. - 8/26/2006 2:24:57 PM

DoraExplorer

Posts: 21
Joined: 4/30/2006
Status: offline

Personally, I have problems with profiles that say "want to serve You in any capacity You desire" or anything referring to the viewer as "You"... it kind of smacks *ha* of not caring about the person behind the Domme, just wanting "a Domme"; sure, profiles need to be generic, but how can you say you want to serve "me" the viewer that you don't even know is viewing you?

Also, yeah they're a pain in the arse, but fill out the checklists... it's the quickest way for a Domme to compare her "no way" with your "yeah, way" areas.

_____________________________

Thank you for *not* being perky

(in reply to sissy)

Post #: 2

RE: Profiles for those subs seeking a Domme or Mistress. - 8/26/2006 2:42:58 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

I thought of changing my profile to say something illustrating like:

"Grokk want woman who be mean to Grokk. Write on Grokk's cave wall if interested."

(in reply to sissy)

Post #: 3

RE: Profiles for those subs seeking a Domme or Mistress. - 8/26/2006 2:49:59 PM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I thought of changing my profile to say something illustrating like:

"Grokk want woman who be mean to Grokk. Write on Grokk's cave wall if interested."

Actually I think that would work nicely. Well.....it would work for me.

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 4

RE: Profiles for those subs seeking a Domme or Mistress. - 8/26/2006 3:32:56 PM

DoraExplorer

Posts: 21
Joined: 4/30/2006
Status: offline

It's a bit too descriptive... who wants to wade through all that to get to the real meaning?

*heheheheh*

(in reply to TNstepsout)

Post #: 5

RE: Profiles for those subs seeking a Domme or Mistress. - 8/26/2006 5:27:01 PM

DivaDuchess

Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline

I have to agree that stating the obvious is a pointless waste of time. you're on this site, if you have no idea why, go tell mommy a pop-up forced you here and go away. I like complete profiles that don't go on and on and on telling Me what I need to do to please you. It's not about just you. It's about finding a joining between Us/us on a deeper level. For instance, beyond the S/M, what type of training have you had? Have you been collared? Give me 2 hard limits. All of that can and should go into a profile.

What I personally don't wish to see is: i'll do anything for U, i have YEARS of experience (meanwhile you are 20 yrs old). BTW ... aside from the kink which We all enjoy ... who are you?

Don't note me unless you have more to say than ... hello.

My two cents.

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to DoraExplorer)

Post #: 6

RE: Profiles for those subs seeking a Domme or Mistress. - 8/26/2006 5:59:10 PM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

Just a thought - mentioning unmentionables in your profile (or on the message boards) is a good way to get your profile/post edited by the mods. Mentioning that you are devoted to family and have dependants is a much better way to state it that won't get you or the site into trouble with new 'anti-freedom of expression on the internet/anti-"porn"' laws.

As for other things - yes, tell us that you go bike riding every weekend (if you really do ... lying is bad). Tell us that you own the entire Valdemar or Pern series of books in original hardback (btw, that will score you BIG TIME points with some of us

). Tell us that you own cats/dogs/horses/goats/rats/whatever other pet you have. Tell us what it is that you do in your free time (just keep it clean and be descreet about mentioning dependants, like I said above). If there is something - vanilla or kinky - that you absolutely HATE then tell us that. Most of us are not looking for casual play partners - we are looking for long term (hopefully permanent) partners and that requires compatability. We already know that we share kink or we wouldn't all be here ... but what else might we have in common? Unless you have something appropriate in your profile, we can't know, and may pass you by.

(in reply to DivaDuchess)

Post #: 7

RE: Profiles for those subs seeking a Domme or Mistress. - 8/27/2006 1:39:25 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

Just when I began to wonder whatever happened to substance, I find it in this thread. Thank you ladies for sharing.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to sissy)

Post #: 8

RE: Profiles for those subs seeking a Domme or Mistress. - 8/27/2006 1:42:30 AM

LeatherRose

Posts: 62
Joined: 6/28/2005
Status: offline

Actually you know one of the things I do besides looking at their profile is look to see if they involve themselves in the community. By that I am not meaning in local groups, I mean in the community of the website itself by contributing to the message boards (or on other sites they are called forums). Seeing what they say on those helps give me an idea of what kind of person they are.

Sad thing is, less than 1% of the subs in my area don't bother.

So I would encourage them to get out there and voice their opinions.

LeatherRose

(in reply to sissy)

Post #: 9

RE: Profiles for those subs seeking a Domme or Mistress. - 8/27/2006 2:07:41 AM

Nikolette

Posts: 488
Joined: 10/2/2004
Status: offline

sissy: that is a good suggestion to them.

Something that personally irritates me is subs/slaves with unreasonable expectations for themselves.

If someone says they're genuine and honest... behave honestly and genuinely then in your interactions with me.

If someone is really only looking for casual play... state that.

NEVER say you will do "anything"... this is totally irrational and reasonably impossible. Maybe say "I'll do any reasonable request." or something similar.

Often times the same subs who are complaining about flakey Dommes on their profiles end up being flakey themselves. In creating your profile really do be as open as possible. When subs message a Domme, or put out their profile.... this is the BEST that they were willing to do. And usually the tone of the profile is a relection of the tone of the person. If a sub isn't willing to put effort and work into being out there, I anticipate he isn't going to be putting a lot of effort into being with me, earning his place, or satisfying me.

Also... just as a general rule of thumb- its good manners to make a point to let a Domina know if you stopped being interested in her, rather than simply ignoring her. That happens to me often and its a bad reflection on the state of submissives' trustworthiness in general.

_____________________________

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." ---Mahatma Gandhi

(in reply to sissy)

Post #: 10

RE: Profiles for those subs seeking a Domme or Mistress. - 8/27/2006 7:34:31 PM

MochaMistress

Posts: 275
Joined: 1/8/2006
Status: offline

Would be good for them to list on their profile if they are only interested in sessions and not developing a relationship. This would save a lot of wasted time. And most definately they should read a Domme's profile thoroughly before contacting them.

(in reply to sissy)

Post #: 11

RE: Profiles for those subs seeking a Domme or Mistress. - 8/27/2006 7:43:14 PM

ladylexington

Posts: 117
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline

I don't know if this is true for other Dommes, but I rarely look at a profile unless a sub's e-mail catches my eye. The first e-mail is very important.

_____________________________

If you must gamble your lives sexually, don't play a lone hand too much. -- Mark Twain

(in reply to MochaMistress)

Post #: 12

RE: Profiles for those subs seeking a Domme or Mistress. - 8/27/2006 8:43:36 PM

DivaDuchess

Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline

Oh yes ... post on the boards ... ones opinions are genereally on the fly, so honest to a fault. Obnoxious at times *lol*. But ... a part of who you are. And fill out the profile, it doesn't take that long ... sides, My fingers are getting numb hitting the 'delete' button like a rabid dog *lol*

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to ladylexington)

Post #: 13

RE: Profiles for those subs seeking a Domme or Mistress. - 8/27/2006 8:44:55 PM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

Honestly, I check the profile of pretty much everyone who messages me. It's pretty rare for me to not check a profile.

(in reply to ladylexington)

Post #: 14

RE: Profiles for those subs seeking a Domme or Mistress. - 8/27/2006 10:14:30 PM

Domin8tricks

Posts: 1
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline

When a submissive sends emails saying "I'll to anything to please you.." I like to answer by saying, "Fine, let me get the chainsaw."

< Message edited by Domin8tricks -- 8/27/2006 10:17:13 PM >

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 15

RE: Profiles for those subs seeking a Domme or Mistress. - 8/27/2006 10:15:49 PM

sissy

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Thank you all for your input. I've tried taking some of the points raised here and incorporating them into the tip. Please let me know if this meets with Your approval.

Profile: Your profile should contain information that tells who you are. You ARE on a BDSM site so that part of your interest is already clear so, aside from kink, who are you?
Inform them on what type of person are you seeking and if you are seeking a short term or long term relationship. Tell of the aspects of the lifestyle you have interest in and would like to explore. Mention what activities you have no interest in participating in (hard limits). Explain problems you would have in meeting or developing a relationship with a Domme.
Never say you will "do anything" - remember, you are trying to make a connection with a real person so you want to come across as real. If you aren't willing to put effort and work into your profile, don't expect them to come beating down your door. If all your profile says is "seeking a strict Mistress to serve", good luck as you're going to need it.

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 16

RE: Profiles for those subs seeking a Domme or Mistress. - 8/29/2006 12:48:56 PM

MissyRane

Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline

What if you try to make a profile..but then it simply ends up in a babble n complete mess lol I think I prefer the short and to the point..I guess obvious..thing

even though it maybe decreases my chances I don't want to give a Domme a headache trying to get to the bottom of my profile

(in reply to sissy)

Post #: 17

RE: Profiles for those subs seeking a Domme or Mistress. - 8/29/2006 1:49:34 PM

cynthiamarie

Posts: 205
Joined: 3/11/2005
From: Bluefield, WV, USA
Status: offline

sissy, I go to your room sometimes and appreciate how those posts help put the ground under a new submissive's feet and teach some manners. Keep up the good work.

It helps turn what would have been behavior that would make me pass someone over back into a real person that might be enjoyable to get to know.

I've noticed that trolls and cyber Dom/mes have a major effect on many new male subs, conditioning them into thinking that all kinds of annoying behavior is expected and okay. **For example, being naked and on their knees before the keyboard, calling me Mistress when they are not Gorean, and asking how they may serve...for a first pm, this really sucks.** Some were brought here through their interest in BDSM porn, and that also takes a while to chisel through the shiite to see the real person hiding behind the image of what they think is expected of them.

Many I've talked with are wankers, no way around that...but many have grown up to be good subs with a little patience and guidance. Thanks for providing some of that, sissy. *huggles*

(in reply to MissyRane)

Post #: 18

RE: Profiles for those subs seeking a Domme or Mistress. - 8/30/2006 12:15:54 AM

SissyNikkiFL

Posts: 3
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline

Sissy,

Thank you for posting this. I have been going at creating my profile for a good while now... Although I am still, I admit, a bit nervious on how to continue with my profile this helps =) Now back to the profile!

Nikki

(in reply to cynthiamarie)

Post #: 19

RE: Profiles for those subs seeking a Domme or Mistress. - 8/30/2006 11:58:32 AM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sissy

Profile: Your profile should contain information that tells who you are. You ARE on a BDSM site so that part of your interest is already clear so, aside from kink, who are you?

Not necessarily. I've recently encountered swingers who have no SM interest. I've stumbled upon folks who are "curious" (meaning: WTF is this stuff) and who are just here cruising for porn, or looking for another avenue for getting their rocks off. I've also encountered folks with one particular kink or fetish who are vocally disgusted by everything else in the scene. I don't think that "just because they're on a BDSM site" that we can automatically assume that everyone is into BDSM.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to sissy)

Post #: 20

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