RE: How do you turn a master down or leave your current dom for another one? (Full Version)

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jamesthehumanrug -> RE: How do you turn a master down or leave your current dom for another one? (8/27/2006 8:28:02 AM)

FOLLOW YOUR HEART ON [:o]EVERYTHING



amayos -> RE: How do you turn a master down? (8/27/2006 9:02:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Beachaven

I have recently been talking to a dom who I wanted to be trained by.... but an old mistress has come back into my life.. and I have a weak spot for her... I dont know how to handle this... any sugestions?


This sounds like highschool.





cpl4playm8 -> RE: How do you turn a master down or leave your current dom for another one? (8/27/2006 10:05:16 AM)

my first question would be.. how deep into "training" are you?  if it has yet to begin.. try talking to the One you initially chose to train you... sometimes the Dominant might not be well versed in certain aspects of training and allow a "Co-Trainer" ... Sometimes this works.. sometimes it doesn't.. but if it isnt a formal ownership collar and merely for training.. a lot of times it will work well to have Two Dominants training different aspects... if not.. and you are deep into training with the Dominant you initially chose.. it might be time to suck it up and work on that "surrender" part.  most people are tempted by outside influences.. old relationships, past partners.. part of being responsible is having the ability to look back and remember what it was that made you decide to walk away the first time... and maybe the old Mistress doesnt want the duty of training you.. [:)] sounds like you need to work on communication skills before you start any kind of training .. discuss your options with both Dominants and come to a well informed decision together.. its a must   ** hug hugs **



marieToo -> RE: How do you turn a master down or leave your current dom for another one? (8/27/2006 9:37:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Beachaven

I have recently been talking to a dom who I wanted to be trained by.... but an old mistress has come back into my life.. and I have a weak spot for her... I dont know how to handle this... any sugestions?


I think the best way out of this is to simply tell the first dominant that you no longer feel suited for one another.  Though this is going to sound like bullshit since you claim that you wanted to be trained by him.  He may very well wonder what the heck happened to change your mind.  I dont mean to sound critical, but it sounds like you viewed him as if he was 'good enough' since no one you liked better was around.  Then someone that you would rather be with has now strolled back into your life who you would prefer as your first choice.  I would suggest asking yourself why the domme was out of you life in the first place, and do you think the same reason may come up again and end you up in the same place (broken up from her).  Then in the meantime, you've lost the dominant who couldve been better for you.   I mean...whats different about it this time than last time thats making you think that it will work with the domme this time around?   If you have a legitimate reason and you really believe that you will be happier going back to this domme, than I suppose you should do so.  But in the future if you still have feelings alive for another person, its kind of irresponsible to lead someone else on, simply because its better than being alone. Im not saying thats what you did, but it would appear that way from what you wrote.  Its simply unethical from where Im standing.  Though Im not condemning your choice, Im merely suggesting that you consider the feelings of all involved (including yourself, as well as any others that you start to make plans with) before you go around sucking innocent people into your indecision.



Taylore -> RE: How do you turn a master down or leave your current dom for another one? (8/27/2006 9:40:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Beachaven

I have recently been talking to a dom who I wanted to be trained by.... but an old mistress has come back into my life.. and I have a weak spot for her... I dont know how to handle this... any sugestions?

This slave has always found that honesty works the best.



MstrssScarlet -> RE: How do you turn a master down or leave your current dom for another one? (8/27/2006 10:07:03 PM)

Fake your own death like every other cyber submissive (or cyber-dom) would do.

Too funny!  Probably because it's so true!



NastyDaddy -> RE: How do you turn a master down or leave your current dom for another one? (8/27/2006 10:58:11 PM)

Once they've come here and posted for help, faking their death and other forms of dishonesty are no longer viable options...

Now it's time to quit playing... suck it up and be who the hell you've claimed you were.

If you don't have that much personal fortitude you are no doubt playing in the wrong sandbox to start with!




Arpig -> RE: How do you turn a master down or leave your current dom for another one? (8/28/2006 2:12:24 AM)

easy as 1, 2, 3.....
1: decide which of the two you want to be owned by
2: inform the other one that it is over/not going to happen
3: Hope to hell you made the right choice



MasterRobert1 -> RE: How do you turn a master down or leave your current dom for another one? (8/28/2006 4:31:33 AM)

How would you feel if the Dom in question was treating you like that? Considering another sub without telling you. This isn't high school. And it isn't dating, either (too many people see it that way, unfortunately). If you've made a commitment, then keep it. Above all, you need to be honest. With yourself, and with anyone you have an involment with.



CreativeDominant -> RE: How do you turn a master down or leave your current dom for another one? (8/28/2006 7:31:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Beachaven

I have recently been talking to a dom who I wanted to be trained by.... but an old mistress has come back into my life.. and I have a weak spot for her... I dont know how to handle this... any sugestions?


I go along with Master Robert and a couple of others on this:  if you have made a commitment to this dominant, then keep the commitment.

This is going to sound cynical to some but I'd like to ask a question:  Aren't we all adults here?  Aren't adults supposed to let their heads rule their hearts?  If you disagree and you think that your heart should rule and you should follow, then isn't it time you stopped letting your head and mouth  make commitments that your heart and spirit can't follow through on because your heart is going to be pulled every which way by whatever "old love" happens to show up this month?  Isn't it time to at least be "heart-smart" about others and clear your heart of the detritus from one relationship and know clearly where your heart stands before you venture into another relationship?

Perhaps my cynicism...or insight, as I prefer...comes from the experience of having grown, then after achieving that growth, letting myself love and eventually commit to another and having them love and commit to me...only to have them drop me within the space of a week when an old love "that they thought was lost to them forever" showed up.




agirl -> RE: How do you turn a master down or leave your current dom for another one? (8/28/2006 9:06:56 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jamesthehumanrug

FOLLOW YOUR HEART ON [:o]EVERYTHING


LOL..........If I followed my heart on everything my life would be an utter disaster. Better to engage head alongside, at least.

agirl



MisstressStella -> RE: How do you turn a master down or leave your current dom for another one? (8/29/2006 5:31:39 AM)

If you are collared, the choice has been made. If you are not collared, you need to make a choice.  Either be collared to one of them or stay free.  Simple to me.....



crouchingtigress -> RE: How do you turn a master down or leave your current dom for another one? (8/29/2006 6:50:04 AM)

the problem i have always found with faking your own death is that in most cases a sister or a relative comes on to the board to announce the death, and we are supposed to think...ok this person just lost a family member, is in severe grief, and has the idea to come to her brothers chat room and tell his chat friends?
 
in my case it was the "wife"...yeah right.



Beachaven -> RE: How do you turn a master down or leave your current dom for another one? (10/1/2006 4:50:29 PM)

Hello everyone. I have been out for a little while. I apologize that I didnt give you a follow up sooner. I am a brutally honest person.. and the post was more of a .... some people on this site says they want the truth... you give it to them.. and you get a negative reply.. or they dont believe you. Well what ended up happening was I chose niether. I thought that if either one was supposed to be my Master/Mistress then I would'nt have to chose... I would know... I would want nothing more then to be with/serve that one person... So I started my search over. I did not go back to my old Mistress... but did help introduce her to a slave friend of mine that she is very happy with.... and she understands that we will never be together again... to angelic< She had a problem with control of her anger.. and could take it out on her slaves.. she needed someone with very little limits.> Thank you to everyone for your replys. They all helped, and I cant think you enough for being there for me. Beachaven / :) Andy



BenignPlague -> RE: How do you turn a master down or leave your current dom for another one? (10/1/2006 5:02:34 PM)

If a sub would leave her current dom to go with me, immediately, I do not want her.  Who's to say she won't do it again?  It really can be that simple.



KatyLied -> RE: How do you turn a master down or leave your current dom for another one? (10/1/2006 5:03:02 PM)

quote:

She had a problem with control of her anger


You knew this and sent a friend of yours to serve her?



Beachaven -> RE: How do you turn a master down or leave your current dom for another one? (10/1/2006 5:06:25 PM)

I was talking.. and I was honest with the Dom.. he knew everything... and we were still in that getting to know eachother part. My friend is a pain slut who has had a problem finding a Mistress that is rough enough... they are very happy together. :) Thank you for caring. Beachaven / :) Andy



juliaoceania -> RE: How do you turn a master down or leave your current dom for another one? (10/1/2006 5:07:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

the problem i have always found with faking your own death is that in most cases a sister or a relative comes on to the board to announce the death, and we are supposed to think...ok this person just lost a family member, is in severe grief, and has the idea to come to her brothers chat room and tell his chat friends?
 
in my case it was the "wife"...yeah right.


Did she have a cyber death clause in her husband's life insurance policy?



Beachaven -> RE: How do you turn a master down or leave your current dom for another one? (10/1/2006 5:11:15 PM)

Do people really fake there deaths on this site??? Why? They have to know its rediculous. What if someone really mourns them?



Sirandlittle1 -> RE: How do you turn a master down or leave your current dom for another one? (10/1/2006 5:15:26 PM)

i didnt reach a conclusion of dishonesty either from the op.

im a tad suspicious of the Domme and you though. They'll be a reason why you two never got hooked up together back then. Have those reasons changed? If she solicited your contact, did you respond that you were in training under another? If you did, no dishonesty, if you didnt, then, i guess its time to fess up to yourself. And her.

Training under someone,
scuse me, but what the fuck is that sorta arrangement anyhow? How on earth, can one person train you to suit another? I dont get it, sounds more like, "i cant take a submissive coz im otherwise occupied right now (married) but ill toy around with you on the side.  and the flip side? " i wouldnt normally entertain you as my Dom, coz your not Mr right, but as i dont have another outlet, bring it on". Both of these situations are cool, providing you all know where you stand. Which, if something bigger and better comes along, as your situation is only ever going to be temporary, its not secure.
Good luck, hope you get all you wish for, and then some!
littleone



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