Subspace and Public Sceneing

Subspace and Public Sceneing (Full Version)

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TheGodPan -> Subspace and Public Sceneing (1/2/2005 8:24:30 AM)
Hello A/all, My submissive and I have started attending a BDSM group within the last couple of months. We watched for a couple of weeks, but then decided to jump in and play (with some good compliments). My problem is that my submissive borders on pain slut at home, and although we play harder than many others at the club, she cannot get deep into subspace in public. At home, she can get to a point where she absolutely loves the pain, but at the gropu she will take it, but gets to the point where she's really not enjoying herself so much. I'd love to really show off her pain threshold and be comfortable with going full sadist in public. Anybody have any suggestions on dealing with public jitters? Pan

sub4hire -> RE: Subspace and Public Sceneing (1/2/2005 8:29:06 AM)
quote: Anybody have any suggestions on dealing with public jitters? Keep the public quiet and controlled? I know at parties I go to the lack of protocal is disgusting. At my own parties people just seem to have a good time. So, I've never had to stand up and remove someone yet. I really don't want that day to come. Although, if I were playing with my Dom...I know I could never get into it at my own party. That ends up leaving us to patrol others at our own parties. We only play in small groups or in private. It is one thing to watch a scene in progress...and one to whisper. A whole other rude thing to speak at the top of your lungs while one is in progress. I'm not sure if that is the issue for you or not. It sure is a big issue for me.

INSIDEYOURMIND -> RE: Subspace and Public Sceneing (1/2/2005 9:30:31 AM)
Gloria, I agree with you completely, the outside influences could be a distraction. Pan, I would suggest you try a blindfold and a set of headphones with some loud music playing, sensory depravation is a turn on for many, but in this case could help your sub to concentrate on the matter at hand, or in your case, the matter in your hand!

fireslut -> RE: Subspace and Public Sceneing (1/2/2005 1:30:55 PM)
Master and i enjoy playing at public dungeon parties. i have found that the noise becomes a huge distraction for me as well, and wear headphones while scening. i don't play any music into them, they only muffle the sound. They are big and red, and don't go with any of my fetish wear, but they certainly make a statement and most importantly, they allow me to get into a much deeper subspace. i definately recommend them!! fireslut

BeachMystress -> RE: Subspace and Public Sceneing (1/2/2005 2:09:51 PM)
Is her problem the distraction factor (which you've had some good hints how to deal with) or is it that she doesn't feel as safe in public? Ask her for her gut reaction. If it is that the surroundings are unfamiliar, ask if you can rent the space for a time and get her used to the area and playing in it without people around. If it is that she feels uncomfortable with other's around, maybe ask another Dom or sub to join you to watch one of your private sessions to get her used to an audience. Some women are more modest than others. She may need help freeing her mind to the point where she can enjoy the public exhibitionism. Some other hints for the distraction problem. Choose a play station with controlled access, such as a room, rather than one on the main floor. Tape a large sign on the door frame saying "You are welcome to watch, but please maintain silence." Face the submissive away from the door/audience. Last month, I was playing at one of our local Dungeon's open play night. I had my sub facing away from the door while playing with him. He'd not realized we had about 15 people watching.

lilninotchka -> RE: Subspace and Public Sceneing (1/2/2005 7:36:14 PM)
For myself, it isn't noise or other distractions...i'm simply afraid of what other people may think or say. The club i play at is full of 'light' players a non-players. What would happen if i were taken that far? i have no desire to make those who host/run or attend the munch to be very uncomfortable and i believe that heavy play would make them very uncomfortable. So, i keep it light at munches and indulge in heavier play in private/semi-private situations. Maybe you could host a small play party at your home. Perhaps starting with a much smaller and more intimate crowd would help her start to get used to getting into that space in more public settings.

realophelia -> RE: Subspace and Public Sceneing (1/2/2005 9:42:15 PM)
The first and only time we played in public, Master used a blindfold. He also talked to me more than usual. I think both helped me focus. Noise wasn't really an issue but seeing people watching would have been (for me). I did almost panic at one point and had to be reassured that he wouldn't leave me. But other than that I responded really well. Which surprised me because playing in public was something I was very reluctant to do. Yours truly, Ophelia

taewakan -> RE: Subspace and Public Sceneing (1/6/2005 8:22:25 AM)
Just a thought... I enjoy showing off my gf in public, but she is very shy. She is getting better about it now because I started asking her to do exhibition in private public places - like behind trees and bushes at the park. We are not up to full public play yet, but I can see it in our future.

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