RE: Deprivation as a form of bdsm "play" or "discipline"?

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RE: Deprivation as a form of bdsm "play" or &... - 8/26/2006 10:26:20 PM

Homestead

Posts: 1005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Homestead: Waist training - you mean corset training? I am fascinated with corsets, too. I plan to buy one when I can afford it better (I actually can do that now, but have other stuff going, like re-modelling parts of the house, and can't "train' that way, just now).

What do you mean by "grok the source code"? Intimately understand a submissive or slave's psychological motications and how to manipulate them?

- Susan

Cinching is much like keeping a sub in diapers-hard to forget why you are enduring it. Even more so when the devices were created by the top who is keeping you so attired.

Grokking the source code in not Dom specific-the best subs also do this. When I speak of ephemera like code,core etc.....it goes way beyond higher functions. You must understand it at a gut emotive level first. My greatest influence is to be able to *feel* in ways that can mimic what I am influencing. People have this arrogant assumption that we live mostly in our higher thought trains. It comes from a western scientific programming.

But this program has serious limitations. I use an integrated appraoch that works better for me. It's one reason that I use extremes of physical control. To great extent, the body controls the emotive state. In turn, the emotive has a HUGE degree of control over the mental.

< Message edited by Homestead -- 8/26/2006 10:27:41 PM >

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 21

RE: Various forms of Deprivation - do many use them? - 8/26/2006 10:31:02 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

L.A. like Susan said I don't go out on fri, sat nights unless I'm going out to dinner, a show, or a concert or some such with friends or neighbors.
The last sat night that I was out was to see Tanya Tucker who came to town for a show.
I did it until I was blue in the face in my drinking days!
Parties, bars, dance clubs, you name it!
If I ever find a sub/slave I probably will be on here less too but I also really enjoy this site and "Saturday Night Live" sucked tonight.
That show really has gone down hill in the last five years.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 22

RE: Various forms of Deprivation - do many use them? - 8/27/2006 12:15:43 AM

SusanofO

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Joined: 12/19/2005
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Homestead: Thanks for the reply. It's an interesting theory.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 23

RE: Various forms of Deprivation - do many use them? - 8/27/2006 12:32:08 AM

Homestead

Posts: 1005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Homestead: Thanks for the reply. It's an interesting theory.

- Susan

See how it plays out if you encounter it.

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 24

RE: Various forms of Deprivation - do many use them? - 8/27/2006 12:52:21 AM

SusanofO

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Joined: 12/19/2005
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I will. I will!

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Homestead)

Post #: 25

RE: Various forms of Deprivation - do many use them? - 8/27/2006 3:25:10 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

The realness of being told not to do something she had planned can make a submissive understand she is owned. I understand your fantasy and excitement about it. You complain, cry, negotiate and beg, but the Dom says no firmly. You are owned, disciplined and cared for.

I would rarely do something as serious as make a submissive miss a trip only for my sadistic fun. That hurts too much and I strive for balance. I would rather hear her cry and beg not to be whipped a certain way or punished in some hard fashion.

I would tell her what I was going to do, let her think about it for a long time, then listen to her try to talk me out of it until it finally ends up in tearful begging. Of course, I would do it anyway. She would quickly get over the pain of the episode and find comfort in my arms and discipline.

In contrast, taking a trip a way for no good reason, may hurt so much that it would break her concept that I care for her. If it were a serious, real infraction, it would be a different matter. All bets are off. I would take away much more than a trip.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 26

RE: Various forms of Deprivation - do many use them? - 8/27/2006 4:14:43 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

ExSteel, thanks for the comprehensive reply.
You do seem to understand exactly why I like this as a bdsm activity.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Post #: 27

RE: Deprivation as a form of bdsm "play" or &... - 8/27/2006 6:43:05 AM

ScooterTrash

Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline

I don't know if it's actually deprivation in it's true form, but I do like teasing "twice" to the point that she is about to explode unless she gets some release (hours, sometime days). This works out well however, when I finally bring her to detonation...lol. Luckily, I have never heard of collateral damage from an orgasm..ha ha.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to Homestead)

Post #: 28

RE: Deprivation as a form of bdsm "play" or &... - 8/27/2006 10:03:07 AM

Sunshine119

Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ScooterTrash

Luckily, I have never heard of collateral damage from an orgasm..ha ha.

Hmmmm.....I have. Scooter, you are a cruel, cruel man.....lol

_____________________________

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

(in reply to ScooterTrash)

Post #: 29

RE: Deprivation as a form of bdsm "play" or &... - 8/27/2006 10:44:25 AM

ScooterTrash

Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunshine119

quote:

ORIGINAL: ScooterTrash

Luckily, I have never heard of collateral damage from an orgasm..ha ha.

Hmmmm.....I have. Scooter, you are a cruel, cruel man.....lol

Thank you...that's the nicest thing I've heard all day (weg).

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to Sunshine119)

Post #: 30

RE: Deprivation as a form of bdsm "play" or &... - 8/27/2006 11:00:01 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ScooterTrash

Luckily, I have never heard of collateral damage from an orgasm..ha ha.

Unless you count rugs, furniture, carpet, blankets etc......

Have i reminded you you are a VERY BAD MAN?

(And i love it!)

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to ScooterTrash)

Post #: 31

RE: Various forms of Deprivation - do many use them? - 8/27/2006 11:24:57 AM

Wolfie648

Posts: 600
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I also have a chastity-oriented fantasy where I am deprived of vaginal sex, or masturbating, but am "teased" on a daily basis by a Dominant who does things like stroking my hair and kissing me, or stroking my skin in "strategic" spots, knowing this will make me want sex even more, and then not giving it to me. But - in my fantasies, the Dominant is always very gentle about it when they tell me "No" (but, they do tell me "No").

How about not being gentle and loving about it? ;-) Whoooo. There's some fun.

D (owner of j).

_____________________________

Possibly.

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 32

RE: Various forms of Deprivation - do many use them? - 8/27/2006 11:43:00 AM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Ex Steel, I couldn't do that either.
One thing that I insist upon is that a sub have a fullfilling, interesting and happy life with me.
I'm not going to keep her "prisoner" in the house 24 hours per day like some seem to want to do.
I think we should have a full life together and enjoy all the activities, hobbies, interests, travel etc that vanilla people do.
I believe in "24/7" too but I guess my definition is different in that even while we are out enjoying dinner or a show or whatever she is still my sub/slave in public without being tied or whatever.
I guess to some you have to have your sub/slave under lock and key all day everyday. Seems they don't know how to "bind with invisable chains."
I'm the kind of Dom who builds up a sub/slave with praise for good behavior and service. I find that "reward" seems to work so much better being mean.
That's not to say that I don't believe in punishment, far from it!
Sometimes I'll give a good hard spanking just because it gives ME pleasure and not even be interested in what she thinks about it.
Or maybe forced masturbation without orgasm on the kitchen table while I watch, things like that.
One thing I would do is not allowing her to watch a favorite t.v. show if she steps out of line or sending her to bed early like a child.(And then dressing her like a child in child-like pajamas.)
("Ok little girl, if you're going to act like a child I'm going to treat you exactly like a child! You're going to go to bed early tonight in your little girl P.J.'s!)
For instance if she was late in being where she was supposed to be at a certain time.
I just think that people should have full lives, hobbies, job or career if she wants that, and a full range of recreational activities, etc.
Another interesting option that we have in this area is "Gentlemen's Clubs". (Strip Bars, but very classy.)
I've always thought it interesting to have a sub/slave go and apply for a job working at one of those places even if she didn't get the job.
It would be fun if she were hired!

(in reply to ExSteelAgain)

Post #: 33

RE: Various forms of Deprivation - do many use them? - 8/27/2006 2:28:06 PM

cpl4playm8

Posts: 14
Joined: 8/27/2006
From: Texas/Virginia
Status: offline

oooooo they all sound like fun!

i enjoy deprivation... O/our problem is.. He doesn't like being denied and loves sex maybe one step more than i do so to deny me.. is kinda like shooting Himself in the foot.. your whole post was a complete turn-on.. and i have fantasies that run the same gamot.. although being denied some of the more "vanilla" aspects had never occured to me.. but definitely a spark!

Sensory deprivation is a huge turn-on.. sight, sound deprivation.. ( i dont like blindfolds though.. is this a control issue!

) and i am very adept at orgasmic denial... although it is a little more difficult long distance (yes.. i admit.. i cheat sometimes!) It's really hard to stop from reaching that point when its your own hand you are trying to stop... any ideas on ways to deprive for those of us in a long distance relationship?

~alika~ (tami)

_____________________________

Tarnhunter and alika
(Mike and tami)

It is appropriate that a female slave be sexual...Surrender to your deepest needs, and desires, to your most profound passions, to those truths concealed in the most secret recesses of your body.

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 34

RE: Deprivation as a form of bdsm "play" or &... - 8/27/2006 3:25:24 PM

DivaDuchess

Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline

I've used orgasm control when a slave of mine has been to the point that a simple look had her cumming. So ... I switched it up and told her that I'd paddle her ass one time for each year she's been alive (almost added each MOON *lol*) until she learned to cum when I told her she could.

I've used sleep as well. The lack of sleep has an interesting effect ... One has to be very careful not to take away too much REM though as that can have serious side effects. It is a useful training tool used in moderation.

There's a favorite of mine too is the removal of toys then having that person be tied hands and feet and get Me off with just lips and tongue on their hands and knees. Again a nice training tool.

There are others, but those are ones I've used more than I have fingers and thumbs *lol*.

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 35

RE: Various forms of Deprivation - do many use them? - 8/27/2006 6:29:34 PM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Orgasm denial might be the first thing that pops into many people's heads in reference to this question, and that is a form of deprivation, certainly.

*But - I am mostly wondering about other forms of deprivation , and maybe on a longer-term basis (a few days to a few months? )- for instance, deprivation of food, sex (chastity), or an activity cherished by the submissive - bdsm-related or not (practicing a hobby, or depriving them of something they've been looking forward to doing, for example).

I have a recurring fantasy, for instance, that I've been looking forward to an out-of-town trip to visit an old friend, and on the day I am supposed to leave, my Dominant tells me I cannot go (knowing this will be a huge disappointment to me), and then really enjoys watching me cry, and plead to be allowed to go, and keeps refusing to let me, and then to top it off, he immediately makes me do something service-oriented for him (I'll admit that's sadistic, but it must do something for me, because I frequently think about this fantasy).

I also have a chastity-oriented fantasy where I am deprived of vaginal sex, or masturbating, but am "teased" on a daily basis by a Dominant who does things like stroking my hair and kissing me, or stroking my skin in "strategic" spots, knowing this will make me want sex even more, and then not giving it to me. But - in my fantasies, the Dominant is always very gentle about it when they tell me "No" (but, they do tell me "No").

So anyway - you get the idea; these are just a few examples of what I think "deprivation" can entail.
*I want to know what others actually do (or would like to do), as far as deprivation, or what they've experienced with it. Or, if they don't like doing this, (or experiencing it) maybe say why not?

*I am also wondering if there are many Doms and Dommes who do not consider themselves to be particulary sadistic (if at all) who use this with their submissives or slaves. Sadists are of course also welcome to answer.

I realize depriving a submissive or slave of something can be used as a punishment or a form of discipline, and also as a form of "play" - and am wondering what particular deprivatons people use with submissives/slaves in each circumstance.

I am taking for granted that doing it at all would be consensual, of course.

Thanks for any replies.

- Susan

I dont think of orgasm denial as a form of deprivation though it is to some and at times I would consider it also if someone was in chastity.

What I first think of is sight,sound,touch. I use My Queening box(special designed top,that is solid with a hole big enough for a baseball.) for Sensory Deprivation.
Having their head in the box,with earplugs and blindfolded they cant see or hear anything...I love it,they have no clue at all as to what is going on.

This is done with them also being plastic wrapped to the bench that was made with the box.Then I sometimes put tape over that,now they cant feel as easily,so I can play with hot wax longer or make holes here and there pour warm oil in them then some that is cool...again they have no way of knowing what they are going to get...How can you not love that?

I do have another use for the box,peeplay can be done with a different seat,that was made for Me.

So I guess My answer is this Domme does use many forms as often as possible.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 36

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