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loving to much and more - 8/27/2006 10:40:06 AM   
mystique2003


Posts: 30
Joined: 8/27/2006
Status: offline 		Is it possible to love your Dominant to much?  Is it in your opinion disrespectful to show him that love?  Do you think it can have a adverse affect on the relationship?   Last but not least can a poly relationship with one Master, a wife who is a Domme ( she is still learning what that means) and 2 or more slaves really work?

Thank you
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: loving to much and more - 8/27/2006 10:55:00 AM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		There is never too much love in any relationship...but of course, thats just my opinion.

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to mystique2003)
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RE: loving to much and more - 8/27/2006 10:58:38 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mystique2003
Is it possible to love your Dominant to much? 

No, but it certainly is possible to let love blind you to the reality of the situation.
quote:

 Is it in your opinion disrespectful to show him that love? 

It is if he says it is.  Expressions of love can be very personal and should be respected.  Let me take a guess here in that your ACTUAL question is "Am I justified in getting pissed when my dom tells me to tone down the affection I show for him so his wife doesn't cause trouble for him?" and "Is it normal for a dom to tell his sub to change behavior to make his wife happy?"

quote:

 Do you think it can have a adverse affect on the relationship?  [/quote[
Lack of respect always has adverse affects in relationships. 

quote:

 Last but not least can a poly relationship with one Master, a wife who is a Domme ( she is still learning what that means) and 2 or more slaves really work?

Thank you

Yes.  Whether it can work in YOUR situation or not I don't know.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mystique2003)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: loving to much and more - 8/27/2006 11:03:58 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		In my experience, it is probably difficult for a submissive 'not' to love their dominant.  Part of showing that love is in being a servant to that dominant, and of course there is nothing wrong with that, is there?

The only thing that 'could' have an adverse effect on the relationship is dependant on the dominant and how he expects to show your love vs. how you expect to show your love.

As to the poly question, I'm certainly not the best to address, but in theory of course it could work.  I've not been in the position of having a dominant woman as my partner to make a 'dom' team (although that does sound interesting, hmm?), but in such a case there would have to be outside parties to do the submitting.  How many, of course, depends on the time and energy that the couple have to spend outside of their own relationship.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to mystique2003)
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RE: loving to much and more - 8/27/2006 11:07:37 AM   
shadevarr


Posts: 360
Joined: 7/2/2006
Status: offline 		ORIGINAL: mystique2003

Is it possible to love your Dominant to much? Only in extreme circumstances when it will become emotionally damaging to the submissive if they continue.  Is it in your opinion disrespectful to show him that love?  For this, go to vanilla relationships 101. unwanted or wanted is what it really boils down to. Do you think it can have a adverse affect on the relationship?  it can, but as stated in question one I see it as a rarity.  Last but not least can a poly relationship with one Master, a wife who is a Domme ( she is still learning what that means) and 2 or more slaves really work? It can if there are some firm rules in place.

(in reply to mystique2003)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: loving to much and more - 8/27/2006 11:08:40 AM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		There is never too much love in any relationship.  However, how you show it is dependant on what your Dom is comfortable with.  His comfort should be all that matters.  In Our household ... love is very definitely welcome in all its wonderous forms.



_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: loving to much and more - 8/27/2006 12:05:10 PM   
Owned1


Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mystique2003

Is it possible to love your Dominant to much?  Is it in your opinion disrespectful to show him that love?  Do you think it can have a adverse affect on the relationship?   Last but not least can a poly relationship with one Master, a wife who is a Domme ( she is still learning what that means) and 2 or more slaves really work?

Thank you



To your first question, No it is not possible to love your Dom/me too much.  Whether it is disrespectful to show that love.  It would depend on the rules you are to live by.  If you blatantly ignore rules that is disrespectful.  Disrespect can have an adverse effect on any relationship, however I do not believe love can have an adverse effect.  Unless of course the love turned to obsession.

Poly relationships take much work, communication and honesty.  They can and do work.  I have read many on here who are in poly relationships.  They can offer excellent advise.  My suggestion read the forums and ask questions of those who seem real to you.

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to mystique2003)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: loving to much and more - 8/27/2006 12:22:41 PM   
mystiquenz


Posts: 330
Joined: 8/13/2004
Status: offline 		Is it possible to love your Dominant too much? ...
That question has already been answered.  In my opinion, no, providing the Dominant concerned has no adverse reaction to receiving the affection, and shares the affection. 

A poly relationship with two slaves, providing it is sane, safe and consensual, with a Dom and a Domme' can they work? ... The threads would say that they could work, but I wonder if personalities and human nature would play against the ideal fantasy. 

Good luck as you explore whatever it is that you are exploring.  Welcome to the forums!



_____________________________

blessings
~mystique~

(in reply to Owned1)
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RE: loving to much and more - 8/27/2006 12:24:01 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Very good advice.

(in reply to Owned1)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: loving to much and more - 8/27/2006 12:56:27 PM   
BlueHnS


Posts: 166
Joined: 9/5/2005
Status: offline 		I'm going to address the poly part of this question ... yes the relationship can work And work quite well I might add. It simply depends on the parties involved. Sometimes the partners care a great deal for each other, sometimes they love or are in love with each other. IF there is enough caring and love and communication , it leaves little room for the things that will undermine the relationship such as jealousy.

_____________________________

Questions are dangerous, for they have answers. ~ Kushiel's Dart
I think I'm going to get off. ~ The Poet

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: loving to much and more - 8/27/2006 1:30:19 PM   
mystique2003


Posts: 30
Joined: 8/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

. Let me take a guess here in that your ACTUAL question is "Am I justified in getting pissed when my dom tells me to tone down the affection I show for him so his wife doesn't cause trouble for him?" and "Is it normal for a dom to tell his sub to change behavior to make his wife happy?"


You may of hit the nail on the head with both these questions. Thank you for wording it a lot better than i could of.

(in reply to mystique2003)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: loving to much and more - 8/27/2006 1:43:39 PM   
Powerman40


Posts: 510
Joined: 7/11/2006
Status: offline 		Its all good.. love the man or woman all that you can and show it.. if others feelings are hurt then discuss it. If thats not an option then oh well.. their loss..... enjoy you love for him and make sure everyone knows. even if he is embarassed *S*

(in reply to mystique2003)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: loving to much and more - 8/27/2006 2:33:01 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mystique2003

Is it possible to love your Dominant to much?  Is it in your opinion disrespectful to show him that love?  Do you think it can have a adverse affect on the relationship?  
Thank you



In what context are you asking the question?

What do you mean by *expressing your love*?

I'm not that sure you can *love* too much or even *not enough*. People *love* the way they love.

The way people express their *love* can be rather self indulgent sometimes.....ie..if you want to stroke, kiss, fondle and fawn, that's fine, if the recipient enjoys that type of thing ....but that's not love..it's showing physical affection.

To begin with, no two people will *see* love as the same thing, nor express it in the same way.

I am wondering if you're speaking of physical acts and not *showing* love, per se.

agirl







(in reply to mystique2003)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: loving to much and more - 8/27/2006 3:42:44 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mystique2003

quote:

. Let me take a guess here in that your ACTUAL question is "Am I justified in getting pissed when my dom tells me to tone down the affection I show for him so his wife doesn't cause trouble for him?" and "Is it normal for a dom to tell his sub to change behavior to make his wife happy?"


You may of hit the nail on the head with both these questions. Thank you for wording it a lot better than i could of.


The answer to the first question is- Yes, it's reasonable for you to be pissed about it. 

The answer to the second question is- Yes, it's normal for someone who is taking the easy way out that will lead to disharmony and ruin. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mystique2003)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: loving to much and more - 8/27/2006 5:21:35 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mystique2003

Is it possible to love your Dominant to much?  Is it in your opinion disrespectful to show him that love?  Do you think it can have a adverse affect on the relationship?   Last but not least can a poly relationship with one Master, a wife who is a Domme ( she is still learning what that means) and 2 or more slaves really work?



The crux of your question seems to center on the poly situation. Which would definitely alter my answer to some regard. I have found that if the women are able to interact in a positive manner and sincerely desire to be together, then the relationship has a chance of working. If this is noticeably absent you are in for an upward climb. There comes a time when we all have to be honest with ourselves. What you will need to determine is what is more important to you. Having a dominant you can love and grow with, or being with one and possibly having to restrain your emotions and expression to maintain harmony in the relationship.

You must remember your place and keep in mind he will not sabotage his home on your behalf. I have found that there are instances when the allure of poly is far more appealing than the unpleasant realities. These situations can work. But it takes a very secure woman, a realistic partner, and the third party that is accepting of what is offered without expecting or hoping for more. If you cannot stomach being number three, find the dominant that will allow you to occupy the space you truly seek.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to mystique2003)
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RE: loving to much and more - 8/28/2006 5:05:40 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mystique2003

Is it possible to love your Dominant to much? 


I do not think it is possible to love too much, i do think it is possible to confuse feeling jealousy with loving too much.
 
quote:

   Is it in your opinion disrespectful to show him that love? 


That would depend on how you show it. Kneeling and kissing his feet or hugging him, neither of these is disrespectful.
 
quote:

Do you think it can have a adverse affect on the relationship? 


Again that depends on how you are showing him that you love him. It is possible for the dom loving the sub/slave too much to have an adverse affect if he allows it to overcome his good sense.

quote:

  Last but not least can a poly relationship with one Master, a wife who is a Domme ( she is still learning what that means) and 2 or more slaves really work? 


I am owned jointly by a Dom and a Domme who are married and it works quite well. With any relationship the secrets are the same; no jealousy, open communication, trust, patience as you learn each other and love that grows.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to mystique2003)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: loving to much and more - 8/28/2006 5:24:46 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		 but twice, you are an unusual woman (one of a kind in my opinion) as are your Owners...from what I've read.

(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: loving to much and more - 8/28/2006 6:23:04 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I can imagine that some dominants do not enjoy having their submissive be demonstrative of their affections for them. I have heard of relationships where love was not only not necessary, but seen as a detriment to the dynamic... so yes... you can love some dominants too much... best to ask the one you are thinking about how s/he feels about it.

As far as the other poly question.. I find it hard to maintain an ongoing relationship with one individual, I am not the right person to answer the poly question..smiles

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 8/28/2006 6:24:19 PM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to mystique2003)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: loving to much and more - 8/28/2006 6:48:23 PM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline 		Love (romantic love) is sometimes a barrier in our M/s relationship..but we handle it the best we can.

_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: loving to much and more - 8/28/2006 9:57:35 PM   
Cutiepie74019


Posts: 106
Joined: 7/25/2006
Status: offline 		i personally do not thinkyou can love your dominant too much however you can express you love badly or be smothering with you expressions also you must not allow your feelings to take over your ability to make decisions



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"There are thorns everywhere, but along the path of vice, roses bloom above them."

Marquis DeSade

(in reply to Elegant)
Profile   Post #: 20
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