RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (Full Version)

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popeye1250 -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/27/2006 10:47:08 PM)

Subinside, your's is a good answer as well!
The "one thing" questions are tough because there "always" more than one thing!
Noah, lol!



SusanofO -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/27/2006 10:48:26 PM)

You know, Noah, there are some nights I just gotta love you.
I will ask a different question. Hey, gimme a minute. Where's everyone else's creative genius hiding these days, when it comes to posting questions? I beat my head against a wall for hours trying to come up with 'em, and some days are just plain better than others, really (and yes, I am teasing you). Really. I love reading your replies. And I love your sense of humor, and your  insight. I do.

You are of course, correct in what you say (not unusual).

I appreciate and understand your toaster analogy. And just to give you food for thought, I consider myself to be an English Muffin, not bread, - so you're gonna need (or someone is anyway) something along the lines of a convection oven, not a toaster. But of course, you can get back to me on that -[:D]

*P.S. I just posted another question (really) See what you think. It's up on the CM boards now...

Yours,

Susan  



BlueHnS -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/27/2006 11:10:37 PM)

I think it's being able to just be together and just breathe. I dont mean inhaling and exhaling. I mean everything else just fades away in those moments and you simply ... are ... together.



diamonddreamlove -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/27/2006 11:55:30 PM)

Trust has been the most difficult thing for me to learn and experience.  It creates the relationship possibility and can distroy it as well if not cared for by both partners. 



marieToo -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 12:01:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

I am just wondering what people think it might be. It would be wonderful, if people can and want to do it, if they can make their answer personal. I realize "honesty", "loyalty", etc. are all important, but what, specifically for you, would make, or be an indication that a relationship very meaningful?

Personally, I like it when people are so in tune with eachother, they hardly need words anymore to communicate. They understand eachother's moods, nuances in body language, etc. Before you roll your eyes, and decide I am a hopeless romantic (which I can be, but do realize its inherent limitations) - keep in mind that I realize that it is also very dangerous to ever assume you "just always know" what a partner is thinking. But it is kind of nice, I think, when they know eachother that well. At least for me, it makes me feel secure - like there is someone out there in the world who truly "gets me".

For people to get to this point, I think they have to be willing to get to really know eachother, and put themselves out there, so to speak. There are people out there who actually are not willing to get to know someone. And if this meets their needs, then fine. But I doubt, personally, that's going to lead to any life-altering, rock-their-world relationship. But, whatever people want is fine, of course.

Any thoughts? What makes a relationship so special for you, that is just rocks your world?

- Susan


I dont think there is any one particular thing that makes for a loving BDSM relationship, or a non-BDSM relationship for that matter.  Its differerent unto each couple and my guess is that it would take more than 'one' thing to make for a loving relationship.  Furthermore, not everyone needs to be in a loving relationship to be in a satisifying relationship that works for them

For me, being valued as a possession would be the most important form of "glue".  I wouldnt even need my Sir to neccesarily be in love with me.  But, wiithout feeling like I am cared for and valued for my million and one uses , I doubt Id be able to thrive in the relationship very well.  For someone else it might be good sex.  For someone else yet, it may be keeping the romantic embers alive. For some...hee hee hee...it may be the way the bitch likes to toast the motherfuckers bread. lol.  No, Im kidding, I get Noah's point too, but it couldve been said in 2 sentences instead of causing us all eyeball bleeding.  heh.  What would be the one thing for you, Susan?



SusanofO -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 3:40:44 AM)

I stated it in my initial paragraph - a feeling the person knows me well enough to "read me" without even needing to verbalize/speak to me, at times - (and uses that knowledge to nurture our relationship - this last added in a later paragraph). Thanks for the reply, Marie.

- Susan



ExSteelAgain -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 3:48:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah
Some people might say steel, because you need a material that can contain the bread and stand up to the intense heat required to toast it. But maybe there are somespace-age materials that would actually work even more reliably than steel. Some kind of high tech ceramic deal or other.


Hey, watch it now; I'm rather fond of steel.



SusanofO -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 3:52:09 AM)

Nobody's gonna replace you, ExSteel - don't worry. Do you have any insightful comments on the original question?
[:)]
- Susan



ExSteelAgain -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 4:03:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Nobody's gonna replace you, ExSteel - don't worry. Do you have any insightful comments on the original question?
[:)]
- Susan


Susan, I tried on this one, but can't come up with anything that hasn't been said well. It is such a vast topic with millions of words having been written about love which is what I see your post is about.



SusanofO -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 4:05:16 AM)

ExSteel: Okay, I understand. You don't win the free door prize, though. [:D]

- Susan



SusanofO -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 6:27:17 AM)

I guess maybe I can change my answer to trust. But I also liked the first thing I said, and it wouldn't happen if there wasn't a deep trust, so maybe trust should be my answer.

- Susan



popeye1250 -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 6:39:11 AM)

Susan, "trust" is a good answer too!
See how difficult these "One Thing" threads are to answer?[;)]



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 7:22:30 AM)

Respect.

For me, no matter how much LOVE there is, if respect is lacking, then no relationship should exist.



Lashra -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 7:44:45 AM)

Trust, love, honesty, compatibility, respect and time. Out of all of those trust is the key as with any relationship.

~Lashra



agirl -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 8:15:20 AM)

I think I can safely say, if being restricted to one thing, that *understanding* is extremely important to me. Nothing that I've experienced seems to wobble me more than being misunderstood.

There are so many intricate aspects to each successful relationship that it's not really possible to hinge it on one thing...but that's what came to mind when I read your post.

Regards, agirl





thetammyjo -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 8:20:18 AM)

For me, it is when my slave knows me so well that I can cry in front him, express doubts about myself in front of him, even have a "I hate my body" day in front of him and he still says "Mistress" and looks at me with as much respect as any other day.

I also like the fact that he can take me be (in his words) overwhelmingly cute and still want to kneel at my feet and obey my every whim.

In short, it is when he accepts me for the full human being I am.

I bet that for Fox it is very similar -- I can take his good and bad days, I can be supportive, but in it all I am his owner and will make the decisions and see them through.



velvetears -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 1:59:24 PM)

Loving your bdsm partner ;-)



Homestead -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 2:04:05 PM)

CARE



Eir -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 2:08:47 PM)

The most important thing for me is the friendship... I am in a weird kind of relationship with someone special that lives in England and I live here on this icecube... we have a good relationship, I trust him with all my heart and I love him... but it can be hard sometimes because of the distance between us. That's why I think the friendship is worth alot.

Care. Eir



Sunshine119 -> RE: What one thing most makes for a loving bdsm relationship? (8/28/2006 2:14:22 PM)

There was a time I thought Love was trust, caring, communication, mutual likes/dislikes, harmony, physical attraction and respect. 

I learned I was wrong

There was a time I thought that Love in BDSM relationship was trust, caring, communication, mutual likes/dislikes, harmony, physical attraction and respect.

Again I was wrong.

What make for a loving BDSM relationship?  I'm clueless.  Perhaps it is when two people of gene pools meet and there is just something about the other that speaks that they would be a good person to partner with and to reproduce with, even though many of us no longer wish to reproduce.

Or maybe it is simply pheremones? 

How can you catch a whisper on the wind?  I don't think there is a person on this planet that can describe love.  Love within a BDSM relationship is probably no different, though I could be wrong there as well.

The older I get, the less I know.  And, for the record, I don't have Alzheimer's yet.

Sunshine



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