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Do manners cost? - 8/28/2006 5:59:06 AM

adommeforu

Posts: 847
Status: offline

Today I was offered an address for a new site. I thanked the “lady” and made a comment, regarding the site she suggested. She responded by questioning My honesty and then blocked Me. Now I do not so much care that some complete stranger questions My honesty, as I do that I was not given the opportunity to defend Myself.
All she has done is prove that the comment that I made is indeed valid.
Tell Me, A/all, if Y/you will, has there been a surcharge levied on manners?

Post #: 1

RE: Do manners cost? - 8/28/2006 6:00:51 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Not last time I checked. Some people don't have many, though.

I usually just try to ignore people who do things like that. Although sometimes, if it ticks me off enough, I will say something, usually something sarcastic, in return - but, that can make me seem like just as big an idiot to them (like I care)..Or else, it ensures they will never write me back, (in which case, it's pretty much a 'win-win' outcome)...

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/28/2006 6:15:11 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to adommeforu)

Post #: 2

RE: Do manners cost? - 8/28/2006 6:03:00 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

I think because the are free to give and receive people do not place much value on them.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to adommeforu)

Post #: 3

RE: Do manners cost? - 8/28/2006 6:08:47 AM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

Yes, there does seem to be one, but I wouldn't worry about it. Just go on with your life.

(in reply to adommeforu)

Post #: 4

RE: Do manners cost? - 8/28/2006 7:45:12 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: adommeforu

Today I was offered an address for a new site. I thanked the “lady” and made a comment, regarding the site she suggested. She responded by questioning My honesty and then blocked Me. Now I do not so much care that some complete stranger questions My honesty, as I do that I was not given the opportunity to defend Myself.
All she has done is prove that the comment that I made is indeed valid.
Tell Me, A/all, if Y/you will, has there been a surcharge levied on manners?

Once upon a time there was a pig. He spent the day rolling around in mud. Spectators came to watch. They wanted him to interact with the crowd and entertain. He carried on as usual. They were disappointed. Who's fault was it?

The lesson is simple. You are communicating with nameless entities that are little more than familiar strangers. Why would you expect them to afford you anything save what they offer willingly? Anyone that isn't an extreme recluse will encounter the same in their daily interactions with the human species. Most of us shrug it off or vent if the circumstances are extreme. But we recognize that we have not established a bond with these persons nor are they an intimate part of our inner circle. People will do as they please, regardless of what you desire or expect. Just like the little piggy above.

She blocked you. Okay, now what? I assume the sun will rise and set as it did the day before you met her and those that follow. Right now you're giving her far more attention than she rightfully deserves. If you're going to invest energy in something or someone, make certain you're receiving something of value in return. Best of luck.

porcelaine

< Message edited by porcelaine -- 8/28/2006 7:46:04 AM >

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to adommeforu)

Post #: 5

RE: Do manners cost? - 8/28/2006 8:45:35 AM

NastyDaddy

Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: adommeforu
All she has done is prove that the comment that I made is indeed valid.
Tell Me, A/all, if Y/you will, has there been a surcharge levied on manners?

You may have commited the utmost cardinal sin... you referred to her as "she".... instead of "She". Go look at something pretty or sexy for a FULL FIVE seconds and you will be fully cured of the terrible hideous spell "She" cast upon you...

I'd be willing to wager that it didn't take "Her Majesty" even a full five seconds to get over it?

By the way, what was the nature of the "vaild comment" you made to "Her Highness"?

(in reply to adommeforu)

Post #: 6

RE: Do manners cost? - 8/28/2006 9:39:43 AM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

"Do manners cost?"
Yes, a great deal if you don't have them.

(in reply to adommeforu)

Post #: 7

RE: Do manners cost? - 8/28/2006 9:48:22 AM

adommeforu

Posts: 847
Status: offline

Thank Y/you A/all for your opinions. Just to state, that I was curious from a Psychologists point of view. Learned more than I thought possible. Will not bother Y/you any further.

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 8

RE: Do manners cost? - 8/28/2006 10:06:17 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Apparently manners are quite expensive these days. So few seem to be able to afford them. However I have discovered that the ability to ignore, that I gained while raising many loud obnoxious children, works quite well.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to adommeforu)

Post #: 9

RE: Do manners cost? - 8/28/2006 10:16:12 AM

Homestead

Posts: 1005
Status: offline

Sighs.......good manners have the power of showing Nobility.

And Nobility shows a respect for self, that simply extends to others.

It's very simple, and I do not realize why so many find that difficult to comprehend.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 10

RE: Do manners cost? - 8/28/2006 10:31:01 AM

CreoleCook

Posts: 321
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline

a question of respect, then, is it? Well my two cents... I give respect freely. one must earn my disrespect.

Mannerisms, courtesies, etc.... semantics for ways of respect.

CC

(in reply to Homestead)

Post #: 11

RE: Do manners cost? - 8/28/2006 10:33:47 AM

Homestead

Posts: 1005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreoleCook

a question of respect, then, is it? Well my two cents... I give respect freely. one must earn my disrespect.

Mannerisms, courtesies, etc.... semantics for ways of respect.

CC

That's the way I see it as well. Repect is my default mode with someone new. To earn my disrespect is to earn my disinterest. I don't have time for those who go below my base line-they drop off the radar.

< Message edited by Homestead -- 8/28/2006 10:34:12 AM >

(in reply to CreoleCook)

Post #: 12

RE: Do manners cost? - 8/28/2006 10:52:32 AM

raiken

Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CreoleCook

a question of respect, then, is it? Well my two cents... I give respect freely. one must earn my disrespect.

Mannerisms, courtesies, etc.... semantics for ways of respect.

CC

Ah my sentiments exactly. In the movie "Dangerous Minds", there is a scene where the teacher, (ah the yummy Michelle Pfieffer) gives her bunch of obnoxious students an "A" upfront, then tells them all they have to do is "keep" it. *smile One of the students declared that they had never received an "A" before, and it changed their entire outlook and perspective on life, just by that one simple generous lesson from the teacher.

(in reply to CreoleCook)

Post #: 13

RE: Do manners cost? - 8/28/2006 11:33:12 AM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: adommeforu

Today I was offered an address for a new site. I thanked the “lady” and made a comment, regarding the site she suggested. She responded by questioning My honesty and then blocked Me. Now I do not so much care that some complete stranger questions My honesty, as I do that I was not given the opportunity to defend Myself.
All she has done is prove that the comment that I made is indeed valid.
Tell Me, A/all, if Y/you will, has there been a surcharge levied on manners?

Beyond those who simply masquerade behind the anonymity of the internet, there are many who mistakenly believe common manners don't apply within it. It is their choice to act this way and they reap the results of it.

(in reply to adommeforu)

Post #: 14

RE: Do manners cost? - 8/28/2006 11:42:29 AM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

Those acting rude and obscene using the anonymity of the internet, are self-describing themselves cowards.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to amayos)

Post #: 15

RE: Do manners cost? - 8/28/2006 11:45:42 AM

raiken

Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

Beyond those who simply masquerade behind the anonymity of the internet, there are many who mistakenly believe common manners don't apply within it. It is their choice to act this way and they reap the results of it.

The thing is, that often, when the light bulb clicks on, it is because of the aftermath of their reaping. What makes it sad, is that some of those who reap fail to learn why, and begin again from the same mindset, never growing past repeating the same behavior. If we choose to feed into their line of bs, we inadvertantly become their enablers, as we are also failing to move past it as well.

(in reply to amayos)

Post #: 16

RE: Do manners cost? - 8/28/2006 7:25:17 PM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: raiken

quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

Beyond those who simply masquerade behind the anonymity of the internet, there are many who mistakenly believe common manners don't apply within it. It is their choice to act this way and they reap the results of it.[/font]

The thing is, that often, when the light bulb clicks on, it is because of the aftermath of their reaping. What makes it sad, is that some of those who reap fail to learn why, and begin again from the same mindset, never growing past repeating the same behavior. If we choose to feed into their line of bs, we inadvertantly become their enablers, as we are also failing to move past it as well.

An excellent point, raiken. Your above words are astute and apply to many things in human nature.

(in reply to raiken)

Post #: 17

RE: Do manners cost? - 8/28/2006 7:58:25 PM

JustaDom

Posts: 84
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Using good manners costs a little effort but they pay off with more and better opportunities. Using poor to no manners costs nothing and returns exactly nothing, often negating whatever other efforts someone has invested. I by no means always have perfect and pristine manners but I've found that acting with the same courtesy at home when I am online with the courtesy I use at work will at least get me the occasional reply and every once and awhile a female submissive or slave writes to me instead. I'm pretty sure that my manners, my sense of humor and my cooking have gotten me just about every relationship opportunity I've had.

I'd rather invest in my future with good manners than shoot myself in the foot with bad ones. Old fashioned manners go a long ways today to those who still believe in them. If you've noticed how often happy people are both polite and cheerful and how often unhappy people are both rude and bitter, it becomes a pretty obvious statement of how one can lead to the other.

Joe

(in reply to amayos)

Post #: 18

RE: Do manners cost? - 8/28/2006 8:05:12 PM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

There are so many Dominants and Masters around this site with good manners, that I feel a bit guilty even posing this question, but - it's crossing my mind so much having read the OP's original topic post, that I am going to ask it anyway -

I wonder how often, an extremely brusque manner of dealing with others (particularly submissives, perhaps) is mistaken by men who are relatively "new" to this whole realm of bdsm, as being more "Domly" or "Masterly" than just treating them like human beings - or like a friend, perhaps ?

I am speaking of people who e-mail females with commands (of any kind) without knowng them at all, or who assume they will do what they ask, simply because the men have decided they are a "Master" or a "Dominant".

I don't want to start a "whining" thread, or beat this to death, but - maybe this thread is as good a place as any to state (like this sentiment hasn't been expressed before, hehe) that, if anything, an intelligent submissive may well see this kind of behavior as the opposite - a lack of self-control, kind of silly, and maybe just plain rude.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/28/2006 8:43:58 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to JustaDom)

Post #: 19

RE: Do manners cost? - 8/28/2006 8:14:31 PM

wild1cfl

Posts: 567
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

Susan,
A very good question and something that I have seen many times myself by many so called "Masters". I myself prefer to remain pleasant and show good manners by saying please and thank you as well as not demanding a submissive do anything that they do not want to do or are not ready to do as long as that submissive is not collared to me. Manners are important to me, being pleasant in conversation does not mean that you are not Dominant, in fact I find that those Dominants that can be pleasant and respectful in a conversation are more Dominant in the long run, adn the same goes with submissives. Respect is important to me, I show respect to those who show they deserve my respect and if it is not returned then they have shown themselves to be someone that I do not want anything to do with. I have only personally blocked one person on this site and that was because of their persistence in trying to degrade someone else on this site that I have respect for. I will always listen to someone elses opinion and understand the validity of it and hope that in turn they can understand the validity of my opinion. Once again a very well thought out question.

_____________________________

Wild

My Falcon now is sharp, and passing empty; And, till she stoop, she shall not be full gorg'd, For then she never looks upon her lure. Another way i have to man my haggard, to make her come and know her keeper's call. Wm. Shakespeare

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 20

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