Would you ask Him/Her? (Full Version)

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greysunnydays -> Would you ask Him/Her? (8/28/2006 9:37:53 PM)

Would you ask the Domly One/Master/Mistress to be flogged or beat or to have sex with you...or anything along those lines? I'm curious as to the responces. In my eyes, I believe it should be up to the Dom/Master/Mistress rather or not play is going to partake. I find it a tad rude..(Now please don't be offended..these are just my thoughts.) if a sub/slave/switch (in bottom mode.) asks to be flogged or what not. Should that not be up to the Dom/Master/Mistress?



behindmirrors -> RE: Would you ask Him/Her? (8/28/2006 9:42:39 PM)

Well, in most cases, being the submissive one and all, I leave it up to my Dom. The only time I bring these things up are when we are talking outside of any play about things we would each like to experience, or if he does the dreaded "Make me make a decision" thing. This is when he enjoys making me squirm by making me tell him what I want...I have a hard time with that, but he wants me to learn to be more clear about what's in my head.

I don't believe that if it's included in your power dynamic to be able to talk about your desires, that it's a bad thing. Just don't do it during play, perhaps?

Hope that helps.
behindmirrors.



angielouwhos -> RE: Would you ask Him/Her? (8/28/2006 9:45:32 PM)

I try not to ask for those types of attentions and instead leave it up to the person in charge. I do ask for things but its usually more of the every day stuff, how to do something, clarification on a demand etc.




perverseangelic -> RE: Would you ask Him/Her? (8/28/2006 9:46:45 PM)

Sure I would. He loves it when I instigate stuff. He likes it when I'm very clear in saying "It'd be really great to have anal sex tonight. Would you like to?"

I don't -insist- we have sex. I simply indicate I have a strong interest in whatever activity I'm feeling like, and if he wants to, we do it. He's fairly literal, and not so great at picking up on hints, so I've learned that hinting about wanting sex just plain doesn't work most of the time. I mean, unless hinting is going up to him and kneeling naked, which isn't always pratical.

He doesn't mind me asking him to beat me up then have sex with me. He -would- mind me -telling- him to beat me up and have sex with me.



Jnj -> RE: Would you ask Him/Her? (8/28/2006 9:49:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: greysunnydays

In my eyes, I believe it should be up to the Dom/Master/Mistress rather or not play is going to partake. I find it a tad rude..(Now please don't be offended..these are just my thoughts.) if a sub/slave/switch (in bottom mode.) asks to be flogged or what not. Should that not be up to the Dom/Master/Mistress?


Asking to be flogged does not take away the dominant's ability to say no, so whether or not the play happens is still up to him.  I see no problem politely requesting certain play from my dominant -- it not only leaves him with the power to make the decision, it also gives him all of the neccesary information to do so.  



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Would you ask Him/Her? (8/28/2006 9:50:27 PM)

I have known Dom/Dommes who want their subs to BEG for things like that.  Not just ask, but beg. 
Persnoally, I make my boy ask me for things like permission to masturbate and such, and he hates having to do it. Your best bet would be to find out how your Dom/Domme feels about asking.

DV



Cutiepie74019 -> RE: Would you ask Him/Her? (8/28/2006 9:51:02 PM)

i personally would never ask for attention because as a slave/submissive/switch should be happy with the attention that he/she is recieveing for they're some/dome/switch , and i too would find it rude to ask a dom/dome  that



marieToo -> RE: Would you ask Him/Her? (8/28/2006 9:59:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: greysunnydays

Would you ask the Domly One/Master/Mistress to be flogged or beat or to have sex with you...or anything along those lines? I'm curious as to the responces. In my eyes, I believe it should be up to the Dom/Master/Mistress rather or not play is going to partake. I find it a tad rude..(Now please don't be offended..these are just my thoughts.) if a sub/slave/switch (in bottom mode.) asks to be flogged or what not. Should that not be up to the Dom/Master/Mistress?


Ive never been in a position where I asked. but I would imagine the ultimate decision would be up to the dominant party.  And I personally wouldnt see anythign wrong with the submissive asking for it.  Even subs and slaves need to be kept tuned up.   And ideally shouldnt they at least inform their master of their hunger/needs/thoughts/desires?  If I were a master, I would certainly want to know what my submissive was craving and the reason they were craving it.  In fact, I would probably make it a rule that my submissive is required to tell me their desires. I would then make an informed decision of whether or not to grant it. 



perverseangelic -> RE: Would you ask Him/Her? (8/28/2006 10:10:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cutiepie74019

i personally would never ask for attention because as a slave/submissive/switch should be happy with the attention that he/she is recieveing for they're some/dome/switch , and i too would find it rude to ask a dom/dome  that


Why?We aren't eusurping our Owner's authority at all. We're simply offering input on what's going on.

I don't think it has anything to do with being happy with the attention one is getting. I'm most assuredly happy with the attention I get. Gods know we spend enough time together. :) Sometimes, though, it'd be nice to have a different kind of attention. I agree it'd be rude to -insist- or -demand-, but to say, politely "Owner, I'm interested in this now, any chance this is something you'd be intersted in?"

In my book, it's no different than, when you're tied up, saying "Owner, my arms are getting a little bit numb, if you don't mind, I'd like to move them a bit." It's feedback. No more or less. I'm certainly not taking control of the situation in eithercase, I'm simply letting my Owner know what's going on with me.



PlayfulOne -> RE: Would you ask Him/Her? (8/28/2006 10:16:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cutiepie74019
i personally would never ask for attention because as a slave/submissive/switch should be happy with the attention that he/she is recieveing for they're some/dome/switch , and i too would find it rude to ask a dom/dome  that


Why?   There have been times when my girl has been having a terrible day and she has asked me either when we've talked during the day or when getting home if she could be beaten.  I usually tell her I'll see and we kind of go from there.   It has never bothered me nor have I ever given it a thought.

K



Elegant -> RE: Would you ask Him/Her? (8/28/2006 10:28:57 PM)

Yes I would ask. Just as I would ask if we could go to XXX restaurant or watch YYY program on television. Just because I am owned property does not mean that I cannot make requests.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cutiepie74019

i personally would never ask for attention because as a slave/submissive/switch should be happy with the attention that he/she is recieveing for they're some/dome/switch , and i too would find it rude to ask a dom/dome  that


If you are not happy with a situation then communication is the only way to begin resolving the dilema.



gardenbluebird -> RE: Would you ask Him/Her? (8/28/2006 10:39:33 PM)

My Master encourages me to ask for what i want.  i used to be afraid to ask - have been turned down too many times in my life.  Sometimes it is still hard for me to ask, but i'm getting better about it.  It is wonderfully freeing to be able to ask for what i wish and to know that Master is still in control of whether or not i actually get it.



JustaDom -> RE: Would you ask Him/Her? (8/28/2006 11:05:25 PM)

I agree with perverseangelic, Jnj and others.  I see nothing wrong with hinting, asking and/or begging for play, sex or other types of attention like that.  I think it is a good thing; I like to see and know I am desired.  It depends on the dominant of course, but asking or begging for sex is probably going to be a nice change of pace or something they find flattering, not an attempt to top from the bottom.

I'm not trying to tell anyone how to act in their relationship but for the submissives who have already answered that they would not ask their dominant, I wonder if you have asked your dominant what they would prefer you to do when you want to be flogged, caned, bound or fucked like there isn't going to be a tomorrow.  If they say that isn't your concern and to keep quiet, then you know that they do not feel that it is your place to say anything.

I've had trouble in the past to convince former submissives that yes, I honestly encourage them to speak up and two of them still could not bring themselves to say something.  After talking it over on a few occasions, I did get them to at least hint to me when they wanted something.  Finding someone already naked and tied to our bed when I got home from work or turning around and seeing someone naked and kneeling with a toy in her teeth are pretty clear hints.

A dominant can always say no.  Sometimes I have said no and sometimes I've waited to say no until just before she's about to have an orgasm.

“Please?”
“No.”
“PLEASE!”
“No.”
“Dear God, PLEASE!”
“I'll think about it.”

I love being a dominant.  Submissives make the funniest faces when tormented.

Joe



RavenMuse -> RE: Would you ask Him/Her? (8/29/2006 3:04:27 AM)

her letting Me know what she would like is simply information. I might indulge, I might not, thats MY decision. Wether she is asking or begging changes nothing, well apart from the fact that I enjoy her begging more [:D]



darkinshadows -> RE: Would you ask Him/Her? (8/29/2006 3:25:59 AM)

Yes, I would and do ask.  It is called communication.
All you ever see is posts and hear people talking about they can't communicate with their partners - and now we are supposed to stop because its 'rude'?
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cutiepie74019

i personally would never ask for attention because as a slave/submissive/switch should be happy with the attention that he/she is recieveing for they're some/dome/switch , and i too would find it rude to ask a dom/dome  that

Fact is - it doesn't matter if you find it rude or not.  Its whether the dominant you submit to finds it rude or not.  If you submit to a person who enjoys you instigating, or enjoys you begging or enjoys you asking, then what you think is irrelevant if you decide to take that tone.
 
Peace and Rapture



bandit25 -> RE: Would you ask Him/Her? (8/29/2006 3:31:39 AM)

Sure I'd ask...not demand or expect, but ask.  What answer I'd get depends upon how He's feeling or what He wants.



greysunnydays -> RE: Would you ask Him/Her? (8/29/2006 4:11:20 AM)

What I'm getting from a lot of people is they are taking what I am sayng to another level. I'm talking strictly about play, not if you can eat or not. Lol.

From my eyes, if your Dom/Master/Mistress asks you to beg, than have at it. I just hesitate on the asking part because the way I see it, it should always be up to the Dom in the group. I know "Well, it's just asking. I'm not demanding it" has come up.

Now if it's something he's mentioned previously "I'm going to flog you later" and forgets....I don't mind reminding him. He has already stated he was going to. Lol.

All in all, it's interesting to see all of your guys different opinions. Or not so different. Many of you agree with each other. Lol.



Eir -> RE: Would you ask Him/Her? (8/29/2006 4:18:26 AM)

I would ask, because matter of the fact is that your question can also be a hint. If you tell someone that you would for example want to be caned or whipped it tell that someone that you can handle more pain now then perhaps two days ago.



kitty2MLoneWolf -> RE: Would you ask Him/Her? (8/29/2006 4:24:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: greysunnydays

Would you ask the Domly One/Master/Mistress to be flogged or beat or to have sex with you...or anything along those lines? I'm curious as to the responces. In my eyes, I believe it should be up to the Dom/Master/Mistress rather or not play is going to partake. I find it a tad rude..(Now please don't be offended..these are just my thoughts.) if a sub/slave/switch (in bottom mode.) asks to be flogged or what not. Should that not be up to the Dom/Master/Mistress?


Unless your owner has a specific rule against doing so, it is not a bad thing to indicate you would like to have something happen.. but only do so once per session. In other words..He comes home from work and you say Sir, any chance you could flog me tonight? (or whatever variation suits you). There is nothing wrong with this. However, asking repeatedly until you get what you want is NOT ok!



midnyt -> RE: Would you ask Him/Her? (8/29/2006 4:24:27 AM)

i think that it really depends on the dynamics of Y/your relationship. this slaves Master really wants to know what i crave and long for. it is still up to Him wether or not i get it.  also i think that timing is very important, when you are told not to speak and you come out with a demand...that is absolutly rude. that would not make you look like a good submissive.  as a submissive we just crave giving the pleasure to our Owners, however great sex and being told "now you can cum" is music to this slaves ears.                                                   ~midnyt~



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