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RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 2:35:11 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

I think there will always be tiffles here and there, but there do seem to be a number of people here who enjoy attacking others. I don't think it is a general thing, but a few people who take certain subjects too seriously.

I, for one, blame the rampant bananaism.

But seriously, I think if those specific people don't drag in others, and we all stay away from their touchy spots, the rest of us can all get along.

Yours,

benji

Yeah, its always the banana's fault... (hides away from the touche' banana people)

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

Post #: 21

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 2:43:08 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

fast reply,

It is not just about flame wars and overt insults, I have noticed some fairly catty behavior and threads that were to target individuals but done covertly... in my mind this is just as crass, unkind, and immature as outright calling someone a name.. in fact in some ways it is worse because it is done with the intention of making people feel unwelcomed/unliked. But then again what do I know... just like justheather... I am out of the loop myself and hope to forever remain that way in most social settings I interact with.. lots less drama. My life has enough of the real kind to involve myself wittingly in the online variety.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 22

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 3:00:18 PM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

I was the one who called it jibberish It also wasn't an ethics slur, that I said it looked illegible and jibberish it did appear to be jibberish, very tiny and I do mean tiny very small font that I couldn't tell what it was. Of course I probably could of just kept shut, but I thought it was someone posting something as a joke, not that it was arabic and or they wouldnt' of thought to think nobody else would know what it was. So my comments were not racial nor were they american esk behavior. It was unreadable because it was written in intensly tiny font about an inch high.

quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather

Then again, I did see the one thread where people apparently thought it was acceptable to use racial/ethnic slurs against someone who posted in what appeared to be arabic (someone called it "jibberish") but I chose not to revisit that thread because of the kinds of things people were saying. I didnt even want my name at the top of the thread because, frankly, I was embarassed by the "ugly American"-esque behavior.

.

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 23

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 3:50:18 PM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

I have seen people calling each other outright names, telling them to fuck off and calling them assholes....even in some threads that are currently still on the boards. I am not sure how the determination is made as to what is a flame or not. I have had posts pulled and have myself, been issued warnings by the Mods for getting a bit abrasive...but I have never sunk to those kinds of levels and I have seen posts like those stand.

I recently reported the "I'm very disturbed by online predators" thread, which was a spin off of the "here's my deal" thread, because it's only intention was to slam another poster here on these boards. Both of those threads, although they were flame ridden, were allowed to stay.

I know that the job of the moderators is a tough one....and I don't envy their position. As I said though, sometimes I don't understand their decisions. Bottom line is.....it's their call to ultimately make.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 24

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 4:16:22 PM

RosaB

Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline

Many times I've become quite frustrated by the nonsense as well, but more and more my feelings are that if you ignore them they will go away, wait no, that's not totally true, I'm still around.

In all seriousness, I come here to relax and loosen up a bit. The last thing I need is confict on my leisure time.  So, once the threads turn into a war of words or who has the biggest cahones, I just find my way back to the best places to have sex a-z type threads or I off sign off and allow the 20 something bad boys to harass me in cyber space.   It's the same with these Floridians that worry about the gators becoming too comfortable around humans, Its best to just stop feeding the animals.

Some people would rather have negative attention than no attention at all. It won't stop. It would be nice and hope springs eternal, but human nature is what it is. Centuries of wars should clue us in to the fact that there are those that just love to creat caos and so it will follow that a war will erupt right here in this lovely thread soon enough. I really wish all of humanity were headed in a better direction. We're doomed I tell ya, D O O M E D !   Just kidding, I'm being a little dramatic to lighten the mood.

But hugs for trying to appeal to the better part of CM posters minds.

Rosa

< Message edited by RosaB -- 8/29/2006 4:26:12 PM >

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

Post #: 25

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 5:20:59 PM

nefertari

Posts: 425
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline

We are human and, therefore, fallible. ~shrugs~

It's very easy to misconstrue tone and meaning when only communicating via the written word. Because of this, those that are more sensitive than others (and let's face, we all have days like that) may take offense where none was intended. One's words may unintentionally hit another's hot button. The topic may be one that is sensitive to another. There may be behind the scenes history that we don't know about. And there are some that just like to be contrary.

I have seen some negativity on this board, but not to the extent that it seems you are eluding to. I think some see confrontation where I see debate. ~shrugs~

We all have done or said things we wish we hadn't. None of us are in a position to judge. All we can do is better ourselves.

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 26

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 5:37:50 PM

SavageFaerie

Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline

I will state that frankly I am pretty fed up with most of CM, although I havent quite given it up as of yet. Yes I was in the forefront of The Deal and online predator post. I acted childish and not responsibale. But by god I did apoligise and have been on the best behavoir since. Yes I do tend to bring personal life here, and I do get angry at posts...and I have lashed out....but never have I not attempted to make good a short time later if possible. That stuff all started because I was miffed at a mod for pulling something in my opinion totally uncalled for, while letting other important stuff that needed to be moderated went to the wayside. Then I did get attacked without notice and I simply defended myself....then everyone got super pissed because I did. I still feel both of those threads should have been pulled and I personally requested that they be pulled....but that didnt happen.

CM does not have staff enough to moderation the high volume here and its very apparent.
Do I care to do anything about that.....no...its not my problem. I will and have found a much better outlet for my time. So people here wont be so bothered my lowly presence.

If anyone is interested where I am going now which is also bdsm related just give me a shout. Its in its enfant stages now.

So there ya go...flame me or agree...It doesnt really matter in the end. I may or may not even follow this out.

_____________________________

Disclaimer:If its the wrong word or misspelled I blame on my fingers and brains refusing to interact.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 27

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 6:32:17 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

I think everyone agrees with that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SavageFaerie

CM does not have staff enough to moderation the high volume here and its very apparent.

(in reply to SavageFaerie)

Post #: 28

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 6:55:27 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Moderating here in CM would have to rank highly on the list of most thankless tasks people do..

I applaude the mods here. By and large they do an excelent job given that they too have lives to live and an income to earn.. Their humour is oft marvelous and delightfull.

Salute' Mods!!!!

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 29

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 7:25:03 PM

kitty2MLoneWolf

Posts: 149
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I think everyone agrees with that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SavageFaerie

CM does not have staff enough to moderation the high volume here and its very apparent.

I would love to asisst the moderators with their duties but I would have to have one of those fancy titles above my icecream cone, bdsm insignia, handcuffs, paddles...I personally prefer "Attention Whore Extraordinaire"

_____________________________

used to be jessieme but I got a life <grin>

Dont worry about what other people think....they dont do it very often!

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 30

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 7:46:18 PM

wantitnow569

Posts: 75
Joined: 4/22/2006
Status: offline

i sooo don't mean to come off as a bitch or self righteous here (as i truly don't believe i'm better than ANYONE else here), however i guess it just feels a little ironic that we can't even all "get along" or "play nicely" in a thread which was designed (in my humble opinion) to create some accountability in ourselves..... i guess my point in pointing this out is that if we want people to behave a certain way, isn't it our responsibility to lead by example?
Please, by no means think i'm innocent in all of this.. As that's not my intention to portray myself that way.... i,too, have been warned by the mods (which i must say "thank You" to Level for warning me about that one....LOL).
i don't even know if any of this makes any sense or not........

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 31

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 8:09:33 PM

RosaB

Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nefertari

I have seen some negativity on this board, but not to the extent that it seems you are eluding to. I think some see confrontation where I see debate. ~shrugs~

I don't remember who uttered these words, or something similar, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then pull up a seat right over here next to me." (Maybe it was Mae West) Anyway, I think someone with more search skills could pull up a few of those threads for you if you like. Theres no way the conversations amount to a dabate in those threads with all the horrific insults hurled around..

I'd say it's possible you have been fortunate enough to have missed reading the really ugly words that have gone back and forth between a few people where it was more of an attact on the person themself and not the subject matter. And please note this isn't directed at just the most recent threads. It had been a pain in my buttkas for some time, like someone said it comes and goes in cycles, just like a hormonal imbalance. Don't tell anybody, but, I think the men have a silent period that goes on for five days out of the week. If you watch the boards the men have at it daily, the women have at it about one week out of the month and then we make nice with each other. Once we hear it was a hormonal thing, its like that head move guys do to denote understanding.

Disclaimer: Please don't take me seriously, I don't. It only counts when it counts.

Rosa

< Message edited by RosaB -- 8/29/2006 8:15:58 PM >

(in reply to nefertari)

Post #: 32

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 8:38:31 PM

nefertari

Posts: 425
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline

I probably have been fortunate enough to miss a lot of those threads. But only because when I see it going on, I stop reading. I know there were a couple threads on the General board in recent weeks that got nasty and I started a thread on here as a joke in response. I didn't have to read every post to realize where those threads were going and that I wasn't interested in knowing more. But I have also seen some accuse others of "slinging shit" when I only saw debate.

I guess I realize that I can choose not to read those threads and not get involved. I had someone attack me a few days ago. I responded, and then let it go. I guess it doesn't bother me as much as it apparently does some. I'm not saying that's either good or bad. I just don't let the actions of others get to me too often (although, there are times....).

We can sit here and talk about how immature people are behaving, but it's not going to change the culprits. As the saying goes, "Leopards don't change their spots." But we can ignore those that are. If you ignore people long enough, they tend to go away.

(in reply to RosaB)

Post #: 33

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/29/2006 9:11:04 PM

Sasy

Posts: 1387
Joined: 7/5/2004
From: Texas
Status: offline

I dont know about the degeneration because until the last month or so I havent been a regular ... But I know I saw a couple pissin matches between a few people who I generally like reading their posts..... And now I find myself skipping them :-( And there are some topics I just plain wont look at

_____________________________

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." ~ Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 34

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/30/2006 4:17:49 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nefertari

I probably have been fortunate enough to miss a lot of those threads. But only because when I see it going on, I stop reading. I know there were a couple threads on the General board in recent weeks that got nasty and I started a thread on here as a joke in response. I didn't have to read every post to realize where those threads were going and that I wasn't interested in knowing more. But I have also seen some accuse others of "slinging shit" when I only saw debate.

I guess I realize that I can choose not to read those threads and not get involved. I had someone attack me a few days ago. I responded, and then let it go. I guess it doesn't bother me as much as it apparently does some. I'm not saying that's either good or bad. I just don't let the actions of others get to me too often (although, there are times....).

We can sit here and talk about how immature people are behaving, but it's not going to change the culprits. As the saying goes, "Leopards don't change their spots." But we can ignore those that are. If you ignore people long enough, they tend to go away.

Some people's idea of debate is closer to insult....

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to nefertari)

Post #: 35

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/30/2006 5:35:15 AM

shivvy

Posts: 746
Joined: 3/25/2006
From: Ireland, living in Kent, England.
Status: offline

i just wish everybody would stop being nasty... you can disagree with somebody without slagging them off all the time. i just think it's sad.

i'm allowed to disagree with people and i'm allowed to speak my mind, but i hope i've neva insulted anybody, or upset them by wot i've written.

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xxx
Owned and collared by SavageFaerie and Master P

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 36

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/30/2006 5:52:35 AM

Nikolette

Posts: 488
Joined: 10/2/2004
Status: offline

meh. I donno. Everyone posted these sorta sugary responces. For me... I have definitely posted a few teasing sassy comment and maybe one or two outright mean ones (although according to me they were pretty valid, and admittedly mean). I guess basically my view point is that the online world mimics the real world and people are bound to be just as debatable in their manners and bitchiness and such. Sometimes some people are somewhat (or very) moody/mean/irritable/bitchy/rude etc.

And something that seems acceptable in the spur of the moment turns out to be a bit inappropriate. I mean here its a pool of pretty (generally speaking) dynamic, interesting, people from all walks of life who are involved in a pretty intimate and slightly taboo sexual interest..... People aren't always going to play nice, and for me... I am okay with that amount and the amount the moderators deal with it.

One point is that we ARE all adults here, and as such ideally it would be great if we could take things a little less sensitively. At the end of the day- if some stranger thinks you are an idiot on the internet, big deal.

In the great words of Eleanor Roosevelt:

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

_____________________________

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." ---Mahatma Gandhi

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 37

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/30/2006 8:51:57 AM

zumala

Posts: 1121
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline

I've noticed an increase in rudeness, yes. I allowed it to get to me for a while, called someone a name once, got it pulled by a mod, and got scolded by that mod. Since then, I've made the block button my friend. It's much better than allowing my temper to get the better of me.

zuma

(in reply to Nikolette)

Post #: 38

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/30/2006 10:39:31 AM

MistressLorelei

Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

I have posted on some heated topics, and I do try to present facts or my opinions on a topic, rather than my opinion on a person. Often, some of the people I may completely disagree with on a topic, I still enjoy on other threads, or in general.

It's difficult to not respond when someone is insulting you, and sometimes you don't know when a comment which was not intended as an insult will be taken as an insult by the reader. I think it's best, in an online forum, to be respectful of others and their opinions, while still having the opportunity to present our own thoughts and opinions.

I would think people shouldn't resort to name-calling or threats (which I have seen here and was shocked), and I would think people shouldn't be overly offended by what someone says to them on a message board on the internet... but in reality, sometimes it all happens.

My philosophy is, if I wouldn't say it to someone I just met who is standing right in front me... then I won't say it here. I think a person should be able to speak her mind without attacking others on a personal level.

(in reply to zumala)

Post #: 39

RE: A Nasty Trend or What I Posted Today on CM - 8/31/2006 8:56:07 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50

There is too much flaming going on around here, you would think that we are all adults....I stay away from those threads.

Yeah sure sure...But you got no problem sticking that ass in everybody's face. :)

(in reply to cuddleheart50)

Post #: 40

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