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a MIND FKKK! - 8/29/2006 7:59:43 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		a MIND FKKK!

OK- maybe I can pick your brains here people.

A few years ago- I was involved with a crowd that brought out the worst in me. I cant tell you have costly that has been. Ill spare you the details- in short it became a legal nightmare.

I have told my best friend, I have moved on. As I am too old, worn out to deal with that. I don't intend to go back to the past.

Well- a person who ran in this group spent 6 months trying to re-establish contact. I dodged it for 6 months. Finally I told her- the rule is- we leave the past IN THE PAST. period.

Strike #3 has occurred. She asked [for the 3rd time] Have I heard from so-and-so, or so and so2.

I dont know what to do.

Maybe I can get some ideas here.

Thanks everyone!
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RE: a MIND FKKK! - 8/29/2006 8:13:58 AM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

a MIND FKKK!

OK- maybe I can pick your brains here people.

A few years ago- I was involved with a crowd that brought out the worst in me. I cant tell you have costly that has been. Ill spare you the details- in short it became a legal nightmare.

I have told my best friend, I have moved on. As I am too old, worn out to deal with that. I don't intend to go back to the past.

Well- a person who ran in this group spent 6 months trying to re-establish contact. I dodged it for 6 months. Finally I told her- the rule is- we leave the past IN THE PAST. period.

Strike #3 has occurred. She asked [for the 3rd time] Have I heard from so-and-so, or so and so2.

I dont know what to do.

Maybe I can get some ideas here.

Thanks everyone!


Let's see if I understand this.  You got back in touch with her, but with (your) understanding that the past was dead, and you'd start a new relationship?  And now she's unable to stick with this deal, and keeps bringing up those bad old days?  I'm going to assume there is something worthwhile in keeping her around.  If not, you simply drop her again and stop all contact.  Some people are toxic.

If you want to maintain contact with her, then you simply sit her down and explain that those days were bad for you, that you have moved on and that if she desires to keep your friendship, she will move on, too.  You haven't heard from so-and-sos 1,2,3 etc. and you do NOT want to hear from them.  That's the way it is, and that's the way it will be.

If she genuinely cares for you, she'll go along with this.  If she's back in it with you only to reconnect with the bad old days, or to reconnect with herself IN those bad old days, she'll balk, and you know to dump her immediately.

Good Luck.

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to pahunkboy)
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RE: a MIND FKKK! - 8/29/2006 8:21:46 AM   
WyrdRich


Posts: 1733
Joined: 1/3/2005
Status: offline 		        If you can't avoid the contact, I would say deal with it head on.  Meet with this person and state clearly that 'whatever' is over.  No need to be nice about it.  Express that you have chosen to make other choices.  It shouldn't take very long at all.

      On the other hand, if you think even being around the old crowd will trigger a moral/ethical/legal 'relapse,'  I say move to another town without a forwarding address.

(in reply to pahunkboy)
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RE: a MIND FKKK! - 8/29/2006 8:37:13 AM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		I don't understand the problem - tell her to go blow a goat, and move on.

Or not?

Yours,


benji

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RE: a MIND FKKK! - 8/29/2006 8:46:17 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Hi all,

She is highly educated. I thought there were so many other topics- adventures we can talk about...

As I think further on it....Im becoming close to ANGRY- that my space has been crashed in this manner as  It was the 3rd time she enquired.

Part of my strength has been not running. I think I need one more metophorical mirror in my life.

The past isnt negotiable. I have a new life now.

Im afraid- it might have been a mistake to cave...

"The gangs all here past" is NOT AN OPTION.                        EVER!

*fumes coming out of my ears*

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
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RE: a MIND FKKK! - 8/29/2006 2:13:05 PM   
Owned1


Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline 		ok now I want to know what you did ~~~ and all the juicy details please......<just kidding>  << unless you want to share>>



Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

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RE: a MIND FKKK! - 8/29/2006 5:54:44 PM   
ScooterTrash


Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich

       If you can't avoid the contact, I would say deal with it head on.  Meet with this person and state clearly that 'whatever' is over.  No need to be nice about it.  Express that you have chosen to make other choices.  It shouldn't take very long at all.
I'd have to agee with Rich, although I would make the meeting or contact short and sweet. Many, many, moons have passed since I ran with the wrong crowd, but I have to admit if I ran into one of them today..I would say.."who, do I know you?" and keep on truckin.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to WyrdRich)
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RE: a MIND FKKK! - 8/29/2006 6:03:10 PM   
PlayfulOne


Posts: 1047
Status: offline 		I would think it is simple,    she keeps bringing up things you told her not to,  kick her to the curb who needs friends like that. 

K


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RE: a MIND FKKK! - 8/30/2006 8:07:15 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Owned1

ok now I want to know what you did ~~~ and all the juicy details please......<just kidding>  << unless you want to share>>



Owned


Hi Owned.   the wound is still fresh...so i wont post the details. one day i WILL smile over it.  i did "win", but the cost was very high.  im a beleiver in what goes around comes around. 

the one regret i do have is the my poor mother seen all the details. it was embarrassing as hell.  at that point she was the only one i trusted, so i asked her to be there.

the whole thing was sorta like a dynasty episode. people trying to destroy each other.... but substitue sex for money. 

im a FREE MAN.  so if any of the dark powers are looking in on me.... whaaeverrr  ha!!

im sure in a few years i will laugh at it.   

for today im ENJOYING the summers day- in my HOME.   with all the comforts.
life doesnt get any better then that.

fkkk the noise.

6 billion  people on the planet- today i am more quick to size up "bad news", and move one. not everyone is a jerk.  there are some nice people.

living well is the best revenge....

Be good.

me 

(in reply to Owned1)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: a MIND FKKK! - 8/30/2006 5:38:45 PM   
Owned1


Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline 		Pahunk,  we are only given what we can handle, and what we live through makes us who we are today and tomorrow.  The fact you are able to look back evaluate where you have been and decide if you want to go there again or not shows the experience was one of growth and learning.

Dont make the same mistakes twice but dont let those mistakes you have made hold you hostage.  As a critical care RN for 22 years I live for today, we never know when we will be gifted with a tomrrow.

Cheers

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

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Profile   Post #: 10
RE: a MIND FKKK! - 8/30/2006 8:30:01 PM   
pqwinny


Posts: 117
Joined: 6/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

I don't understand the problem - tell her to go blow a goat, and move on.



Very few things cause me to laugh out loud when i'm all by myself...this did.  Excellent advice, i say!

_____________________________

I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.
-Albert Einstein

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RE: a MIND FKKK! - 8/30/2006 8:33:22 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		This is not the least bit funny......tell her to blow me...............

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: a MIND FKKK! - 8/30/2006 8:39:41 PM   
pqwinny


Posts: 117
Joined: 6/23/2006
Status: offline 		instead of the goat....or in addition to?

_____________________________

I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.
-Albert Einstein

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: a MIND FKKK! - 8/30/2006 8:41:26 PM   
arissa


Posts: 28
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		It sucks when you end up with the wrong crowd, and then PAY for it. I know of what I speak as well. I had somewhat the same situation, it ended, finally, ran into someone from that crowd  I "thought" I could be with, but he would NOT shut up about it. We finally sat down one night, expressed what we each thought and... well.. I got up and walked the HELL OUT, after telling him "Look, S##T in the past, is just that, in the past, let it go, give it a proper funeral, let it rest for cripes sake. Well, needless to say that did NOT happen, so, off with his head, so to speak. That was that, finally. I totally agree with you about living well IS the best revenge pahunkboy.
My best suggestion, tell her the same thing I said, give it a proper funeral and MOVE the F##K ON!!!! (or) Off with her head, so to speak of course

_____________________________

The mind is where ALL thing's begin. stimulate that and all else will follow.. in time

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: a MIND FKKK! - 8/30/2006 8:43:30 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		perhaps this is a point of contention or a breakthrough, I have never thought about goats before, but; by god, I will now!!!!

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to pqwinny)
Profile   Post #: 15
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