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TreSwank -> Profile Poll (8/29/2006 11:52:08 AM)

     I couldn't decide whether to put this on the "Polls" or "Humor" Board, but I think that it's fucking HILARIOUS!

    The other day, while perusing the usual CollarMe profiles, I realized that alot of these people are completely unafraid to be unfettered, self-revealing douchebags - which gave me this wonderful idea:

    I should create a fake Dominant profile, with the Dom's motif being that of  a RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC called "DomInRecovery", or "12StepSadist".  The pic (get this) would be the face shot of a grizzled, Merle Haggard-looking face, with gin-blossoms breaking out all over the nose.  His journal entries would be full of sad and sordid tales about bottles, hotel rooms, relapses, and Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.

     The thought of an incorrigibly alcoholic "Dominant" just tickled my funny that in that strange way.

   Does anyone else have any ideas for humorous fake profiles?



crouchingtigress -> RE: Profile Poll (8/29/2006 12:57:42 PM)

and i thought i had too much time on my hands....[;)]
 



TreSwank -> RE: Profile Poll (8/29/2006 1:23:19 PM)

I remember the pre-"casino job" days, when I used to do things like go on dates and bang hot 19-year old girls. At 22 years of age, I feel like a shadow of my former self.   It's pretty much just work and computer time, in a never-ending, undulating life-rhythm of blandness. Look at that goddman stubble in my profile pic..................I can already feel the onset of old age in my tired bones.  Oh....................somebody give me the "Old Yeller" treatment!



Gauge -> RE: Profile Poll (8/29/2006 1:36:36 PM)

quote:

I should create a fake Dominant profile, with the Dom's motif being that of  a RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC called "DomInRecovery", or "12StepSadist".  The pic (get this) would be the face shot of a grizzled, Merle Haggard-looking face, with gin-blossoms breaking out all over the nose.  His journal entries would be full of sad and sordid tales about bottles, hotel rooms, relapses, and Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.

    The thought of an incorrigibly alcoholic "Dominant" just tickled my funny that in that strange way.


OK... I am prepared to be jumped on for my stance here so I am ready for it.

I am glad that you find the insidious addiction of alcoholism so amusing. I have come out on these boards and admitted that I am in recovery and have been sober for six years. While I do not take specific offense to your post, I do want you to be aware that there are those of us that have had our lives destroyed by addiction. I do not know if you actually realize how insensitive you have sounded but you are entitled to find humor in anything I suppose.

I take my recovery very seriously because my drinking damn near killed me. I am only one of millions of addicts who could tell similar stories... and, of course, there are those that are dead as a result of their addiction but they cannot speak.

I have taken full responsibility for my actions in my drinking, I do not blame the booze because alcohol doesn't have the capacity to force itself upon anyone, it is the person that must make the choice to drink or not. I lost everything that mattered to me because of drinking, I am blessed though in that I have had the support of my children and friends and some family. I am also thankful that I now have a grasp of what is really important in life... and material things just do not hold the significance they once did with me. The value of love and friendship and family means the most to me. I digress.

You are entitled to your brand of humor and if you find what happened to me amusing, do not let me stop you from laughing about it. You aren't the first and you damn sure won't be the last. The nice part about it is that I can kind of laugh about certain parts of my own addiction NOW, but there wasn't even a small iota of comedy involved in what I (and millions of others) have experienced while still in addiction.

I have my seatbelt firmly buckled... flame away.



MrrPete -> RE: Profile Poll (8/29/2006 1:37:19 PM)

Please, we have enough phonies on CM without creating them.

Why make fun of Dominants that have regained control of their lives.

DominRecovery 23 yrs and counting





TreSwank -> RE: Profile Poll (8/29/2006 1:42:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

quote:

I should create a fake Dominant profile, with the Dom's motif being that of  a RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC called "DomInRecovery", or "12StepSadist".  The pic (get this) would be the face shot of a grizzled, Merle Haggard-looking face, with gin-blossoms breaking out all over the nose.  His journal entries would be full of sad and sordid tales about bottles, hotel rooms, relapses, and Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.

The thought of an incorrigibly alcoholic "Dominant" just tickled my funny that in that strange way.


OK... I am prepared to be jumped on for my stance here so I am ready for it.

I am glad that you find the insidious addiction of alcoholism so amusing. I have come out on these boards and admitted that I am in recovery and have been sober for six years. While I do not take specific offense to your post, I do want you to be aware that there are those of us that have had our lives destroyed by addiction. I do not know if you actually realize how insensitive you have sounded but you are entitled to find humor in anything I suppose.

I take my recovery very seriously because my drinking damn near killed me. I am only one of millions of addicts who could tell similar stories... and, of course, there are those that are dead as a result of their addiction but they cannot speak.

I have taken full responsibility for my actions in my drinking, I do not blame the booze because alcohol doesn't have the capacity to force itself upon anyone, it is the person that must make the choice to drink or not. I lost everything that mattered to me because of drinking, I am blessed though in that I have had the support of my children and friends and some family. I am also thankful that I now have a grasp of what is really important in life... and material things just do not hold the significance they once did with me. The value of love and friendship and family means the most to me. I digress.

You are entitled to your brand of humor and if you find what happened to me amusing, do not let me stop you from laughing about it. You aren't the first and you damn sure won't be the last. The nice part about it is that I can kind of laugh about certain parts of my own addiction NOW, but there wasn't even a small iota of comedy involved in what I (and millions of others) have experienced while still in addiction.

I have my seatbelt firmly buckled... flame away.



   I'm not going to jump on you for anything, Gauge.  Although booze didn't destroy my life (although it did destroy a promising career), I personally learned to reassess my life values in relation to alcohol after two and a half months of incarceration, and I got off REAL lucky.  This is meant as a joke. Don't take it too seriously.



stef -> RE: Profile Poll (8/29/2006 1:45:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TreSwank

I couldn't decide whether to put this on the "Polls" or "Humor" Board, but I think that it's fucking HILARIOUS!

Judging by your previous posts, I think it's safe to assume that any threads you start would be perfectly at home in the "Random Stupidity" forum.  However, if trends continue, it might be worth lobbying for the creation of a "Not-So-Random Stupidity" forum.

~stef



TreSwank -> RE: Profile Poll (8/29/2006 1:47:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef


Judging by your previous posts, I think it's safe to assume that any threads you start would be perfectly at home in the "Random Stupidity" forum.  However, if trends continue, it might be worth lobbying for the creation of a "Not-So-Random Stupidity" forum.

~stef



   That girl...................she always did like me.
    I don't post in the General BDSM discussion forums because I am already aware of my desires for spanking, flagellation, breath control, and toilet related things.  I know what I want, and I view this site as a market, as opposed to a "learning experience", although I have learned a few new things because of this site's existence.



WyrdRich -> RE: Profile Poll (8/29/2006 2:03:05 PM)

      I say, if you have the time on your hands, go for it.  It has been done here many times I'm sure.  Some of them become classics.

     Do something you know though.  REAL people in recovery will see right through you.  I disagree with Guage about it being automatically offensive.  I can laugh at my 'wild' years as often as I want to weep at what I have done in my 'previous life.'



Gauge -> RE: Profile Poll (8/29/2006 2:10:31 PM)

quote:

I'm not going to jump on you for anything, Gauge.  Although booze didn't destroy my life, I personally learned to reassess my life values in relation to alcohol after two and a half months of incarceration.  This is meant as a joke. Don't take it too seriously.


Perhaps you missed my point. I understand your intent. Humor is a wonderful thing and the subject of it is not lost on me. The topic of your post, however, contains an issue that is very close to my heart and I will not stand mute while someone comes off sounding like they do not understand the seriousness of this issue. You may or may not have had an epiphany about your own issues with alcohol, but I submit to you that I do doubt the depth of your convictions. One that has lived through it knows the absolute horror they experienced and I would doubt highly that they would revel in what you found so funny.

Alcoholics Anonymous saved my life along with other people that helped me along the way. The meetings are not composed of some sordid lot of drivel that is, in any way, shape, or form a cause for jest. Addicts in recovery have a common bond: we are trying to change our lives around from the rubble and chaos that we created.

I am telling you that your brand of joke has another side to it that is unpleasant and sad. I felt the need to come out and point that out to you. Nothing more, nothing less.



Gauge -> RE: Profile Poll (8/29/2006 2:21:27 PM)

quote:

I disagree with Guage about it being automatically offensive.  I can laugh at my 'wild' years as often as I want to weep at what I have done in my 'previous life.'


Allow me to clarify. I am not offended. I am not one of those overly sensitive types that claim offense to everything under the sun... I am far from that in fact. I am merely giving voice to the other side of this.

Actually, I have been (over the years) writing a humorous short story about my own alcoholism. It is a bittersweet experience for me and something quite therapeutic. While I tell a truly amusing story about the fact that I became delusional toward the end of my drinking, I also point out, quite boldly, that I was in Hell and suffering tremendously by my own hand.

So, I can laugh openly about my alcoholism while inside of me I have balanced that humor with the deadly reality of what I have done to myself.



TreSwank -> RE: Profile Poll (8/29/2006 2:22:32 PM)

Two important elements that go into making a joke are incongruity, and exaggeration.  I've sat through meetings, and received my colored keychains and chips  like alot of people, and I realize that alcoholics are not the abject, morally-handicapped folks that they were portrayed to be in the days before good old Bill and his doctor friend pioneered the Big Book.  The exaggeration is part of the humor.




Gauge -> RE: Profile Poll (8/29/2006 2:30:40 PM)

quote:

Two important elements that go into making a joke are incongruity, and exaggeration.  I've sat through meetings, and received my colored keychains and chips  like alot of people, and I realize that alcoholics are not the abject, morally-handicapped folks that they were portrayed to be in the days before good old Bill and his doctor friend pioneered the Big Book.  The exaggeration is part of the humor.


When I walk into a meeting of AA I meet people like you described in your OP. There is no exaggeration. Those people exist in great numbers.



WyrdRich -> RE: Profile Poll (8/29/2006 2:56:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
When I walk into a meeting of AA I meet people like you described in your OP. There is no exaggeration. Those people exist in great numbers.




      Exactly.  And they are funny in a sad way.  I wouldn't want to do anything to cause them more pain but I always laugh a bit after my tri-annual meeting.  There they sit, chain-smoking, drinking coffee flavored sugar and the addiction is still the most important thing in their lives.  Now they spend every evening talking about it instead of practicing, but it is still the No.1 thing.

     Sorry, this was supposed to be a light thread wasn't it?



TreSwank -> RE: Profile Poll (8/29/2006 3:02:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich

  Exactly.  And they are funny in a sad way.  I wouldn't want to do anything to cause them more pain but I always laugh a bit after my tri-annual meeting.  There they sit, chain-smoking, drinking coffee flavored sugar and the addiction is still the most important thing in their lives. 



    BINGO.  It's just as tragically funny as those older women that wear too much eye-makeup, drink Jack Daniels out of the bottle, smoke unfiltered Lucky Strikes, and talk about "the one that got away".

   Someday I'm gonna be that tragic.  It's sad.



stockingluvr54 -> RE: Profile Poll (8/29/2006 3:31:01 PM)

I'm sure you posted this in jest and trust me...I could give a rats ass one way or the other. I'm an alky and haven't drank for 17-18 yrs now and no problem with what you posted....BUT...there are probably many out there struggling/working with their problems and probably don't need to see this kind of stuff? Like I said...no biggy here on my end but some others may not appreciate it.....????



SusanofO -> RE: Profile Poll (8/29/2006 3:44:33 PM)

I know you weren't probably referring to me - but - I am in recovery - hope you don't think I am a douchebag because of it. I know you didn't mean it that way, and there are some people who go to 12-step meetings who seem to be insufferable bores and like they might not be seriously trying to recover, but I am not one of them. I take it seriously, even when I'm not in a meeting. I am firmly convinced I'd be dead otherwise. To be fair, I've met people who do seem to make it the be-all meaning of their lives (almost living at meetings, etc.) - but if it's working for them, I think it's okay. I mean, otherwise they might be dead. And since they are addictive personalities, I don't know why it would surprise anyone they'd be so "into" recovery.

My uncle is a recovering alcoholic. He got his family in a car accident when I was 10 years old, and his own daughter, his darling little girl, got killed because of it. He's since become a priest, and my sister thinks he is too much of a "Holy Roller", and kind of makes fun of him behind his back whenever he comes to visit. I always want to smack her when she does this. I can just imagine the pain he has gone through. I asked her last time he came to town if we could just please make it through dinner out without her kicking me under the table when he starts talking about religion. My cousin died of a cocaine overdose four years ago. He had a four-year full college scholatship, but cocaine took that away that from his life, and more. He lost his wife, his job, and finally, his life. I miss him a lot sometimes. 

- Susan  



WyrdRich -> RE: Profile Poll (8/29/2006 4:04:16 PM)

     Now I feel all guilty... (no worries, it will pass quickly).

     AA, NA, MA, and let's not forget Al-Anon all serve a valuable purpose and help a lot of people help themselves.  That said, they also have turned recovery into a state-sanctioned Fundamentalist religion.  That makes them fair game for me.



WyrdRich -> RE: Profile Poll (8/29/2006 4:31:24 PM)

    TS, I just hit upon the solution that lets (almost) everybody win.  Call your phoney profile 13thStepDom and make him one of the know-it-all jerks who haunt the meetings.



SusanofO -> RE: Profile Poll (8/29/2006 4:31:28 PM)

Well, I do know what he and you are referring to - so no worries. I've become really annoyed at some people in meetings (especially the "know-it-all" types) I see many people in them who look like this - and I do think they can seem funny, but they've also sometimes I think maybe been through things I can only dream about. There has been more thna one time I've had to remind some folks in meetings that we are each "working our own program", etc. - I've had guys (and women) try to mother or father me to death without asking for their help. I don't go to meetings that often these days. Offers to "advise" me at or after meetings can sometimes be nice - but this can also drive me up a wall. I've got a sponsor - I don't need five or ten of them. I think they feel a need to do this though, and somehow it is helping them (still, I've got a right to say "no, thanks"). 

- Susan 



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