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what is the significance of a collar? - 8/29/2006 4:01:21 PM   
spoilt26981


Posts: 91
Joined: 11/5/2005
From: London UK
Status: offline 		 
One of the most often asked questions on these boards is "What is the significance of a collar". Master has had reason to get me to think deeply about what His collar means to me and told me to start this thread, both for his own reasons and also encourage other slaves/subs to share their own experiences of what it means to them, to answer those new folks from a very personal standpoint.
Because I am still rather shy about starting threads Master has given me this first bit to start me off, the rest is in my own words....


Before i took Master Ravens collar i had had 3 other real time Masters. i recieved my first collar at 14. Back then i was still very new and had now idea how much that collar would mean in the coming years and indeed the rest of my life.
In the past a collar has been a symbol to the outside world, it showed that i was making a commitment. That i had given myself, as time went on the means grew in deepth, the collar was rapadly taking on a new meaning.

When i was away and unable to physicaly reach out and touch my Master, i drew streagth from knowing that whilst His collar was firmly around my neck i had nothing to fear,when some people stand and get their wedding vows they claim to LOVE HONOR and OBEY and they mean this and will do anything they can to uphold hold these promises when i take a collar i am making simalir vows and i will always do my best to up hold it.


When Master Raven agreed to accept my submission we spoke and great length about what it would mean and represent within our relationship. i needed to place special significance on the fact that it made me feel secure. i knew that whilst the collar is not mine and never will be, it is Masters.

The fact that it is HIS collar means that even tho i do not live with nor see Master everyday, i am never alone, i will always have a part of him with me. When master first placed the collar around my neck i felt as if i was floating, the burning desire to be his, to please him building within me.

I never wanted to remove it yet Master did, he removed it walked over to the stall holder, paid him. Returned to where he had left me, i lifted my hair, as i closed my eyes ALL the sounds around us seemed to disappear, in the deadly silentness i heard the fastening of the collar a wash of emotion came over me, i was complete, at peace, i was in at place i could relax and be me.

When Master has given me permission to remove the collar which is usally when i am sleeping or heading swimming or my family are over, i feel lost like part of me is missing, yet when returning it to my neck i feel 10 times stronger then normal, i feel so light and protected.

I have really low self esteem at the best of times and i never like how i look, i feel so unsure of myself that i spend 70% of the time looking over my shoulder. Yet when i catch sight of myself in a mirror or shop window i feel strong, proud like i could cope with anything.

If/when i relise i have disrespected Masters collar, which i did this week. fear rises with in me. For instance, this week i was heading over to spend a day with Master when half way there i reached up to touch my collar and felt it wasnt there. i knew because of the singificanes i had placed on it and the need for it that i had shown, that Master would be dispointed and rightly so because in leaving it behind i had not only disrepected HIS collar but him, the reletionship and taken our dyamic for grated.

I felt so sick, i hated myself i had let both Master and myself down, i had taken something he had given me and just left it behind like it didnt matter.
It has been a few days since then, i have not removed the collar since then i have to prove (to myself now) that i worthy of the honor of being able to wear HIS collar. If one member of a married couple found the other without his or her wedding ring on they may question the reasons behind it, and i guess that me turning up with out my collar raises the same questions both with in me and Master.

So in summary my collar means the world to me, i know that to some people a collar is a fashion item. To some they only wear it when they play or out and about on the scene. But to me it is a sign of commiment, it is me giving myself to him and him taking me, the collar allows me to grow, gain strength knowing he is always with me.

< Message edited by spoilt26981 -- 8/29/2006 4:02:29 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: what is the significance of a collar? - 8/29/2006 4:16:01 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		http://www.collarchat.com/m_498653/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#498670
The Coveted and Legendary Collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_531609/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#531610
Collaring vs Wearing a collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_547321/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#547475
The meaning of a collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_485613/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#485797
Please share with me (what being collared means to you)

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=427111&mpage=1&key=collaring&#427257
being collared

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=410988&mpage=1&key=collaring&#411019
public collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_291301/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#291301
Collar vs Wedding Ring

http://www.collarchat.com/m_287566/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#287566
Another Question Regarding the Collar

http://www.collarchat.com/tm.asp?m=323687&mpage=1&key=collaring&#323702
collars (2)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_287140/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#287140
Collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_264867/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#264867
Sub Thoughts on collars

http://www.collarchat.com/m_248345/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#248345
collar before love

http://www.collarchat.com/m_247668/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#247668
ring or collar, what's the difference?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_219135/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#219135
What does a collar mean?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_190240/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#190240
collar or what else?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_187244/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#187244
Accepting a collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_184946/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#184946
Timeframe for a Collar?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_177155/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#177155
collar (2)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_165733/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#165733
collars

http://www.collarchat.com/m_151638/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#151638
Collar Ceremony

http://www.collarchat.com/m_150934/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#150934
Losing the Collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_132702/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#132702
From chat to collar

http://www.collarchat.com/m_124898/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#124898
Wearing training collar in public

http://www.collarchat.com/m_81449/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#81449
What are the collar types/levels please?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_80281/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#80281
When is the right time to collar?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_70392/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#70392
Collars and collaring

http://www.collarchat.com/m_61337/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#61337
Collar conundrum?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_59686/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#59686
Color of collars?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_55592/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#55592
Collars when?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_27368/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#27368
Kind of a collar question?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_11451/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#11451
Collaring a submissive?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_428/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#428
What is your definition of a training collar?

http://www.collarchat.com/m_402/mpage_1/key_collar/tm.htm#402
Multiple collars or single collar?


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: what is the significance of a collar? - 8/29/2006 4:35:25 PM   
midnyt


Posts: 40
Joined: 8/27/2006
Status: offline 		i fully understand your feelings. Masters collar to me is another wedding band. it is a symbol of O/our commitment. i dont feel like myself when its not on. i take it off to sleep and to shower. i however have 3 collars. all very beautiful. the reason behind this is...the black leather play collar is not always appropriate for certian outings like family functions or meetings at the childrens school. so to help this situation Master got me a silver 14 gadged collar that i can where anywhere and no one knows any diferant. this is my day collar my nite collar is the black leather one. my other one is very special..a rounded silver band small gadge  with a carved bone goddess with a bear and eagle with an amethyst stone. its absolutely beautiful. He was so thoughtful, He really understood how important it was for me to wear my collar.  they show im owned, my commitment to Him, my loyalty, my love. i feel safe and secure when His collar is around my neck.  maybe so you dont have to take your collar off so much you could talk about a day collar that is very nice for any occasion.                                          ~midnyt~

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RE: what is the significance of a collar? - 8/29/2006 4:48:59 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		To me it means a committment to my Master. It shows who i belong too. It also shows our dedication to each other.

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RE: what is the significance of a collar? - 8/30/2006 6:13:29 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spoilt26981

One of the most often asked questions on these boards is "What is the significance of a collar".



I view it as a symbol who's meaning is unique to the individual that wears it and the one/s that placed it upon that person. In the past I attached specific meanings but have veered away from that train of thinking. I prefer to leave myself open and allow the experience and significance to speak for itself when that time arrives.

porcelaine

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His will; my fate.

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RE: what is the significance of a collar? - 8/30/2006 3:42:26 PM   
jonathan


Posts: 196
Joined: 8/5/2004
Status: offline 		The significance of a collar is as a symbol of commitment, whatever form it takes. my training collar happens to be a piece of my own jewelry that my Goddess chose, an industrial link solid silver bracelet that i've had for many years. She wanted something i could wear anyplace and be reminded that i am now Owned. The only time it comes off is when showering, and the ghost of feeling it on my wrist persists.

Eventually, should i reach the goal of live-in, i hope that my "at home" one would be suitably engraved stainless steel. Something like that could be worn anywhere, too, with shirt & tie or turtleneck to keep it from misunderstanding eyes.


_____________________________

jonathan
http://www.slaveregister.com/000-515-587

"But in purple, i am stunning!"
"Before You slip into unconsciousness, i'd like to have another kiss, another flashing chance at bliss, another kiss, another kiss"

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RE: what is the significance of a collar? - 8/30/2006 5:21:25 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		That was lovely Spoilt and I so understand how you feel. I feel like the collar I wear now is like an engagement ring. At the end of our year together I will receive my permanent collar that together we have designed. It will be beautiful and uniquely ours. I also have a play collar that he made from a favorite black leather belt he had. It is very special to me because it was made by him and from something he wore often. Right now my collar is at the jewelers having the clasp replaced and I won't have it back for at least a week. I HATE not feeling it around my throat!! I was never one to wear jewelry and now I feel lost without this very special piece that comes from my Sir's heart and desire to own me.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

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RE: what is the significance of a collar? - 8/30/2006 7:19:25 PM   
mystictryst


Posts: 125
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline 		I never received a 'collar' - we discussed it and later, he bought me a necklace with a charm of his nickname for me (well, the nickname he used then)... I was often envious of the collars of other subs I knew - wishing he'd grace my neck with a leather (or other type usually recognized) embellishment... But it meant nothing to him, and in time, the fancy collars so well designed and thought out meant nothing to me - I had his love.

This spring, we married and that little gold band on my finger means more to me than any other single thing in my life. My collar is my wedding ring and the day we married is the proudest day of my life. Often, i will be driving home from work and the sun will grab my ring and it sparkles and dances the light through the vehicle and that's when I stretch my hand out in pride and love and committment and I know without a doubt that I am his, always.

< Message edited by mystictryst -- 8/30/2006 7:23:56 PM >

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RE: what is the significance of a collar? - 8/30/2006 7:34:58 PM   
LaMspeach


Posts: 794
Joined: 12/4/2004
From: Philadelphia area, PA
Status: offline 		i dont have a collar i wear around my neak, i wear one around my heart .. it says i am owned and it cant be removed,.... For me a collar if just an outward sign of what is in your heart.

_____________________________

peach ~ LordandMasters devoted alpha slave
"Only when the year has grown cold does one know that the pine and cypress are the last to wither"



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RE: what is the significance of a collar? - 8/30/2006 8:06:01 PM   
pqwinny


Posts: 117
Joined: 6/23/2006
Status: offline 		to the OP - my Sir told me just the other day that He wants to put a collar on me and i felt a rush run through me that i did not anticipate and i still find difficult to describe.  We still have much to discuss before we actually take this step but i find myself exhilerated by the prospect of it.  i have been married and even though i took that comittment very seriously, it never had the same emotional charge or depth of symbolism that the concept of being collared holds for me.  For me it embodies a level of comittment, devotion, and caring that nothing else rivals-a unification.  It is a choice and a decision not to be taken or entered into lightly and i consider it an honor to be offered a collar by Him.

_____________________________

I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.
-Albert Einstein

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RE: what is the significance of a collar? - 8/30/2006 9:28:18 PM   
OriginalWench


Posts: 39
Joined: 3/23/2006
Status: offline 		It's hard for me to put into words exactly what my collar means to me, and The Mate.  It's not a wedding ring, or a romantic thing, it's an ownership thing.  But at the same time, I'm only submissive to him ever, and were I to enter into any other M/s ot D/s relationship, I'd be the dominant.  I'm not a slave, I'm not complately submissive, but he does own me, and have rights that nobody else has ever had, or probably ever will.  There's a part of it that is to show others  that I'm not available to anyone, and a part of it that's deeply personal and private for us.  This is a far deeper commitment than a marriage to us. 

There's just so much symbolism tied into it, and so many reasons that I wear a collar that it's very hard for me to articulate everything it means.  It tells me that I am precious enough to be the first person he has ever wanted to own and keep for himself.  It tells me that I'm cherished and cared for.  It tells me that I must obey him.  It tells him that I am his, and here for his pleasure.  It tells him that he can do whatever he wants with me.  It tells others that I am owned, and because of that, not available at their whim (as if I would be anyway hehe). 

It is seperate from marriage or handfasting for us (we had our own private handfasting, and can be considered commonlaw married, and also are engaged) in that it doesn't mean "OMG we're in luuuuv".  Well, we are in love, and do love each other, but his ownership of me is something so much more than that.  And at the same time, it's very different.  And it's a pretty big deal, because I've never ever been submissive to anybody before.  Were I to have been posting here before him, I would have identified as a Dominant only.  Now, I say Switch, because I've found someone I can submit to.

It came about after some very serious discussions and negotiations that happened in part because of incidences at a couple of play parties.  The collar would most likely prevent those kinds of things from happening as well, but it quickly became much more.  In my case, it's a loose chainmail necklace padlocked on with a small heart padlock.  This is because I canNOT wear anything tight around my neck (incidentally, I can't wear a gag either).  I also have a matching bracelet with a matching heart lock, because we both liked it. 

I do not ever take my collar off, although the bracelet does occasionally come off to protect it from damage.  In addition to those, I always wear my ankh that he gave me at our handfasting to symbolize the love/romantic part of our relationship.  It was removed only for surgery, and when the leather string broke, long enough to put a chain on it.

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense to anybody, but I guess I tried my best to express what it means.


_____________________________

"I have a mind like a steel trap; it is rusty and illegal in 47 states."
"I'm too young to have Alzheimer's. I have Halfzheimers."

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RE: what is the significance of a collar? - 6/5/2007 6:16:07 AM   
Minette


Posts: 15
Joined: 3/19/2007
From: New Brunswick Canada
Status: offline 		For me, the collar is symbol of ownership.  I was so happy when He put that collar on me, I didn't want to take it off.  But, saying this, I have to admit that my captive ring (like the one in Story of O)that I wear on my finger means more than anything.  I was married once and the band I wore then had no special significance.
The captive ring is a present from Him.  Wearing His ring is acknowledging that I am His.  He owns my soul, my heart and my body.  Without Him, I am incomplete. 
We have been talking about getting a day/public collar.  I have to admit that I am looking forward to wearing His collar.
We are not together at the moment as we are both in collapsing relationship.  I miss him every second of every minute.  He is my addiction.  When we are together, I am complete and the void in me is filled.  I never take any moment with Him for granted.  I love Him.

Minette
*happily owned*

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RE: what is the significance of a collar? - 6/5/2007 6:25:19 AM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		I dont have a collar...but i have had a wedding ring for 24 years...so i DO understand...and i think you are being a tad hard on yourself for forgetting to put your collar back on....with my own memory being as bad as it is  i would hate for my Master to think that my bad memory had anything at all to do with my lack of love and respect for Him....just a thought

_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

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RE: what is the significance of a collar? - 6/5/2007 7:27:18 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		i have 3 collars (as well as a silver bracelet and ankle chains) and the one i wear the most is my solid metal "wedding band" that Daddy gave me in January.  it's a symbol our lifetime committment to each other as "husband"Daddy and "wife"daughter.  at first when he enclosed the cold metal around my neck, i shivered not from fear but from the rush of excitement because i realize this was truly real. the "forever" or "til death do we part" did seem a bit terrifying to me however His promise to take care of me (as well as my UMs) keeps me grounded on how much Daddy loves me.

i am permitted to remove my collar when i sleep yet i don't because i would feel extremely naked even though i sleep in the nude now that warm weather has arrived. i do however remove my collar when bathing and special/family events since they are deeply devoted and rooted in their Christian faith ...i have recently started wearing it around my mother and i get the feeling sometimes she wants to know why but doesn't ask.  now i have fun wearing my collars at the radio station i work for and at the concert venues i attend ...if i'm reviewing a metal/punk show, i blend right in so easily with the crowd.  i'm lucky enough that i don't have to hide my alternative lifestyle from my co-workers - they love the gifts Daddy gives me. before i was collared, guys would hit on me (nothing like being the only black woman at a rock show) constantly yet after my collar, many don't dare to talk to me which is a good thing - i can concentrate on the music and bands not them offering to buy me drinks.

if i want to feel close to Daddy, i simply caress my collars and focus on Him ...not wearing it around family, i feel so out of place without having the metal or leather on my neck - i get the feeling of being "ordinary" like them and i hate being like them. being black and wearing a collar, you do get the weird stares and snickering laughs while riding the bus especially if they're black ...i have noticed that whites really don't notice anything odd about a woman wearing a metal ring around her neck - oh i don't feel ashamed having it on 24/7 while in public ...Daddy knows i love showing it off.  i met recently 2 Doms (here for a convention) who commented about my "wedding band" after recognizing it.  so i do get postive and negative feedback when wearing my collars.

now since i have a secondary Dom, we have discussed about getting me a ring (Daddy wants to get me one too) to wear as our committment to each other which might lead to an engagement one. Daddy's extremely happy that we are heading towards that direction gradually - not in a rush to take the huge leap yet.

sorry about the long post, OP


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

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RE: what is the significance of a collar? - 6/6/2007 4:39:10 PM   
LiveRaven


Posts: 2
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you for your words about your collar. I have yet to collar anyone for I just learned about them. I have always understood the concept, now I just have words to describe it. I see it as a tether, a bond that can't be broken, it gives strength to both people involved. I know that when I finally put a collar around somone's neck, they are mine, and they have given themselves to me willingly. Can there be a greater feeling? for either party? I have such a strong desire to protect and control, but at the same time I have an even greater desire to do justice to the love that people feel for me. That is what putting a collar around my pet's neck will mean to me, a symbol of my commitment to them, that will remind them constantly of who 'we' are.

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RE: What is the significance of a collar? - 6/6/2007 10:47:01 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spoilt26981


One of the most often asked questions on these boards is "What is the significance of a collar?"


Only the significance one puts into it. In my world, a collar is merely a collar and a leash merely a leash; they are tools of control and temporal reminders of status. What is important to me is the soul between two beings. That is intangible and never captured in a piece of metal or a pretty cut of stone.

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RE: What is the significance of a collar? - 6/7/2007 9:02:16 AM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline 		I'm copying this from my profile on another site because a similar question was asked, an I can't ever seem to reword it without it looking 'off'..
 
quote:
"It [a collar] means a lot.... I have yet to receive a collar, I have been offered a collar a few times (collars of consideration & training - in otherwords, nothing REAL).

It's the equilivant of a wedding ring; it also means that I am protected from any who knows its significance; and to be protected.
"HANDS OFF!! SHE'S MINE!!!"

 
I won't wear a collar for 'play' at least, I have not, I feel its not something to play around with, I take it seriously. I have a chain I have been known to wear on occassion, usually for pics, but, if a partner asked me to wear it during play, I would have no issue, I bought it and it means what most of my other necklaces mean to me, its a neck adornment. Since no on has asked, I have not worn it.  

{edited coz i cant spell this morning}

< Message edited by slaverosebeauty -- 6/7/2007 9:04:08 AM >

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"Friends live on in our hearts, regardless if they are here or not."

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RE: What is the significance of a collar? - 6/7/2007 9:21:00 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		I have some seriously significant jewellery in my life already so i know that whatever symbolic item is given to be as a tangible focus for being owned, will be something that will have a lot of power for me.

I have been owned, but i would not say i have ever been collared, being collared, is to me the same as marriage. Marriage and collaring are huge to me and so the symbol of those committments will be very powerful.

When i left my last ... well i almost said Owner but my illness stopped us getting to that stage. Anyhow, when we decided to leave it i had mysefl ringed. That tiny band of silver through my flesh, sealed so i cannot remove it without some serious effort, is with me everywhere, at all times, whatever i am doing. It is a gentle little reminder to myself that part of me is still a piece of property waiting for ownership, and one day, perhaps, someone will take that little silver ring out, and put a larger one around my neck.


_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





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RE: what is the significance of a collar? - 6/7/2007 2:00:17 PM   
ron2421


Posts: 37
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		What is the significance of the collar?
No one will likely admit it, but for SOME doms and subs a collar is merely a means to attach the leash.
The collar, used foremost on animals after all, represents a way to degrade and humiliate another to the level of a dog for appropriate D/S purposes, either control or play.
This can include a dom placing a naked sub except for the collar into a dog cage.
Well, you have a truthful answer. 

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: what is the significance of a collar? - 6/10/2007 6:19:43 AM   
Switchblayde


Posts: 40
Joined: 6/3/2007
Status: offline 		For me, its the bdsm equivalent of a wedding band and all it entails,....love committment and loyalty.

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Jamais vaincu..........

(in reply to ron2421)
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