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Tips for profiles - 8/29/2006 5:43:28 PM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline

I was wondering what sort of things people like to see included in profiles. I often find myself putting in sort of random things that come to my head that may or may not capture what I'm really about or after. In all honesty, I don't know how to briefly describe who I am or what I'm looking for.

The same goes with interests. I think of bd/sm in terms of flow, and if the flow is right any particular activity could be great, but, outside of an interaction, none of them are especially exciting or Im equally interested in all of them. When I'm checking off interests, it feels kind of arbitrary.

I wonder if this has something to do with being submissive because I feel like "i dunno, lets see what happens and i'll probably like it if its done right" Or, maybe I'm just wishy washy. I just can't define myself.

Post #: 1

RE: Tips for profiles - 8/29/2006 5:54:39 PM

AnAtlantaDom

Posts: 98
Joined: 7/13/2006
Status: offline

I think you said it quite well in your profile. One question, though:

How do Liberal & Libertairian ploitics not clash?

AD

(in reply to gypsygrl)

Post #: 2

RE: Tips for profiles - 8/29/2006 6:01:48 PM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline

AnAtlantaDom asks: how do liberal and libertarian politics not clash?

I don't want to go too far off topic, but in ages past, I used to be a lefty/liberal but recently I've found myself moving in a populist/libertarian direction. And, yes, there's some conflict here. :)

But, thanks for your comment.

(in reply to AnAtlantaDom)

Post #: 3

RE: Tips for profiles - 8/29/2006 6:07:00 PM

AnAtlantaDom

Posts: 98
Joined: 7/13/2006
Status: offline

I didn't mean to hijack your thread, but I couldn't resist poking you a bit

AD

(in reply to gypsygrl)

Post #: 4

RE: Tips for profiles - 8/29/2006 6:12:02 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AnAtlantaDom

I think you said it quite well in your profile. One question, though:

How do Liberal & Libertairian ploitics not clash?

AD

As someone branded a liberal I have more in common with libertarians than I do with centrists and rightists... but that has just been my experience... back to the original thread concept...

Most people like a couple of good photos, a list of what they find intrguing in a partner, a smattering of what you think you have to offer, and a couple of hobbies thrown in that are not necessarily BDSM related... humanizes you

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to AnAtlantaDom)

Post #: 5

RE: Tips for profiles - 8/29/2006 6:14:44 PM

ScooterTrash

Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline

I'd suggest just lose the political answers altogether....that could be something to discuss later.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to gypsygrl)

Post #: 6

RE: Tips for profiles - 8/29/2006 6:16:40 PM

Owned1

Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline

ackkkk politics ~~~~one of my few hard limits.....LOL

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to ScooterTrash)

Post #: 7

RE: Tips for profiles - 8/29/2006 6:22:52 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Well for some people it is as important as religion where someone is on the political scale. It is as important to me that my Dom be on the same page as me in this regard as it is to find someone that enjoys biking is to you, so if it is important to her she should definitely highlight it in her profile... It was one of the first things I looked at on my Daddy's profile, before I even emailed him back..smiles

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to ScooterTrash)

Post #: 8

RE: Tips for profiles - 8/29/2006 6:27:29 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

What would I like to see in profiles?
Pictures.
Also a good narrative instead of just the basics on the left side of the page and NO NARRATIVE on the right.
And why do people leave out their weight?
I've noticed a few on the boards and go into their profile; "NO PROFILE" I will NOT respond to anyone who has a hidden profile!
I put mine up here they should have the common courtesy to have a visable profile and pic!

< Message edited by popeye1250 -- 8/29/2006 6:28:13 PM >

(in reply to gypsygrl)

Post #: 9

RE: Tips for profiles - 8/29/2006 6:28:26 PM

AnAtlantaDom

Posts: 98
Joined: 7/13/2006
Status: offline

For women I'm not sure fotos are all that good an idea. Way too many wankers on the site. Fotos only attract them.

AD

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 10

RE: Tips for profiles - 8/29/2006 6:37:06 PM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline

While I wouldn't go into detail about it in a profile (I just checked my likes in the interest section which is what AnAtlantaDom picked up on) politics is about power, and, well, power turns me on. My active exploration of D/s, bd/sm and alternative lifestyles did, in fact, emerge out of my political and philosophical interests and have, in turn, influenced those commitments, pushing me in the direction of a libertarian politics.

Though, again, I wouldnt go into detail about that in a profile mostly because it doesn't really impact my choice to engage someone. I've engaged and learned from very conservative Dominants though I'm not myself conservative.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 11

RE: Tips for profiles - 8/29/2006 7:01:25 PM

LeMis

Posts: 9255
Joined: 9/24/2005
From: Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

What would I like to see in profiles?
Pictures.
Also a good narrative instead of just the basics on the left side of the page and NO NARRATIVE on the right.
And why do people leave out their weight?
I've noticed a few on the boards and go into their profile; "NO PROFILE" I will NOT respond to anyone who has a hidden profile!
I put mine up here they should have the common courtesy to have a visable profile and pic!

I had deactivated my profile when I was offline, then reactivated it when I signed back on.
I have noticed that clicking on a poster doesn't always take you to their profile, sometimes it's a c&p job to see the profile.

I agree w/ most people, pictures are great to have in a profile, and also a little bit about themselves too (the human side to them).

(in reply to popeye1250)

Post #: 12

RE: Tips for profiles - 8/29/2006 7:56:35 PM

llkkto

Posts: 9
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline

I don't care about photos, but I like to see something in the text box of a profile. It doesn't have to be a book, but some description helps. If I had a choice of content, I'd like to know what matters most to a person about D&S, why they're doing it, what they like best about it, what they need, what enthuses them. After that I like to know what their attitudes are toward pain, humiliation, control, monogamy, online vs. offline, slavery, etc--i.e. what sort of relationship they're looking for. Finally, and this is something most people who write profiles do not have too much trouble doing, I like to know what, if anything are hard limits for them or dealbreakers.

(in reply to LeMis)

Post #: 13

RE: Tips for profiles - 8/29/2006 11:09:22 PM

MasterNdorei

Posts: 658
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline

Determine your profile information by what you are looking for and what you have to offer. If you are only looking for a play partner every other weekend when you don't have your kids, it is probably more important that you state your availability, how and where you can play, etc. than your vanilla interests. If you are looking for 24/7, by all means include your vanilla intrests.

The most annoying thing to read is that you don't know what to say "yet"... leaving us to only hope you make it to Oz before the Wizard runs out of brains... why bother?

Master's dorei (who is a little cranky tonight)

(in reply to llkkto)

Post #: 14

RE: Tips for profiles - 8/29/2006 11:18:52 PM

cariad

Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline

be honest, open and ask some questions that may come to mind.

tell a bit about yourself, .likes dislikes, and go from there.......

i had to redo mine several times before i got it right.

hell i still get the occasional "troll" wanting me to relocate even though i am not looking for anything but "Friends." LOL

_____________________________

The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

(in reply to MasterNdorei)

Post #: 15

RE: Tips for profiles - 8/30/2006 6:03:22 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrl

I was wondering what sort of things people like to see included in profiles. I often find myself putting in sort of random things that come to my head that may or may not capture what I'm really about or after. In all honesty, I don't know how to briefly describe who I am or what I'm looking for.

The same goes with interests. I think of bd/sm in terms of flow, and if the flow is right any particular activity could be great, but, outside of an interaction, none of them are especially exciting or Im equally interested in all of them. When I'm checking off interests, it feels kind of arbitrary.

I wonder if this has something to do with being submissive because I feel like "i dunno, lets see what happens and i'll probably like it if its done right" Or, maybe I'm just wishy washy. I just can't define myself.

This may sound strange but I don't put a lot of weight in what a profile does or does not reveal. I try to base my opinions about the interaction between myself and the individual. Of course there are situations that are obvious conflicts or unsuitable. But I'm mindful that a profile is merely a snapshot and far less than the whole. If you keep this in the back of your head you can present a brief introduction which provides background information and an open invitation for interested parties to discover more if they desire. The important thing to remember is that it isn't necessary to appeal to everyone's whims. The person that finds you appealing will feel compelled to reach out, regardless of what is included or unstated. Best of luck.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to gypsygrl)

Post #: 16

RE: Tips for profiles - 8/30/2006 6:19:13 AM

TreSwank

Posts: 1165
Joined: 3/5/2005
Status: offline

I think that pics on profiles are ESSENTIAL to a male's profile. When I first started up as a member of CollarMe, (about 2 years ago, with a different handle) I had no pic, and despite having a decent profile, alot of women on this site simply would not respond to my mail. As soon as I posted a single, shitty-quality snapshot of myself, (which I'm still using because I'm a lazy-ass) all of a sudden, the gals became interested.

I think that the ladies who claim that profile pics aren't terribly important, are being a little too wrapped up in the way things "should be", and not so much in dirty, cold-hard, concrete reality. The truth is, plain and simple, that if you're not an attractive male, women will not respond to you, unless you've got a Vin Diesel body or a Bill Gates bank account (although men, with their "fuck anything that moves" philosophy, probably won't be nearly as judgmental.) If you don't believe me, check out the hundred or so "I WILL NOT RESPOND TO PROFILES WITHOUT PICS" entries. I know that this sort of blanket generalization doesn't appy to ALL women, but I think that I have about 98% percent of them pegged.

I may still have my somewhat semi-attractive boyish looks to fall back on, but I feel sorry for alot of less conventionally attractive men that possess real substance, who probably get constant rejections from delusional broads who think that their pussies are made out of the finest imported silk. In the long run, I don't think that looks matter that much.............cuz when those looks fade, girls, you're gonna need somebody who will keep things fresh and exciting. I know that I've met women who I didn't initially find enticing, but their uber-magnetic personalities and girl-mojo sparked my desire shortly afterwards. Amen to folks with PERSONALITY.

< Message edited by TreSwank -- 8/30/2006 7:10:54 AM >

(in reply to gypsygrl)

Post #: 17

RE: Tips for profiles - 8/30/2006 6:34:58 AM

odalisqueslave

Posts: 30
Joined: 9/18/2005
Status: offline

my own experience here on Collarme in regards to my profile/pic,
has been 90% positive....ie; i have recieved complimentary, respectful
email...even though all i seek currently is intelligent discourse.

odal

(in reply to TreSwank)

Post #: 18

RE: Tips for profiles - 8/30/2006 6:45:45 AM

diaperedbaby

Posts: 158
Joined: 3/13/2005
Status: offline

I don't have a picture either, but I do send one on my first contact with someone.

(in reply to odalisqueslave)

Post #: 19

RE: Tips for profiles - 8/30/2006 4:51:16 PM

domtimothy46176

Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline

In reply to the OP:

When I'm browsing profiles, I'm drawn to those that give me some insight into the woman and submissive/slave behind the words. Your line, "mostly interested in D/s and creative erotic power exchange" is a pleasant enough turn of phrase, but is says nothing about who you are or how you imagine an erotic power exchange unfolding. I tried to write my own profile so that it paints a picture of how my House operates and I tend to look for profiles that paint a picture of what type of house the girl is searching for.

(in reply to diaperedbaby)

Post #: 20

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