Intercourse with subs

Intercourse with subs (Full Version)

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Aimtoplease101 -> Intercourse with subs (8/29/2006 9:09:13 PM)
One common distinction between male dominated v. female dominated relationships seems to be the dominant's attitude towards having intercourse with the sub. Specifically, many female dommes seem to restrict, or even completely deny, intercourse with their male subs, and some will restrict the sub's orgasms of any sort. Conversely, most male doms appear to feature intercourse with their female subs prominently in their D/s relationship, and often enjoy bringing the sub to orgasm. Any thoughts about this? Is it simply true that, generally speaking, men crave intercourse more than most women? Is there something inherently male domination oriented about penetrative intercourse? Other theories? Regards, ATP

Homestead -> RE: Intercourse with subs (8/29/2006 9:17:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aimtoplease101 One common distinction between male dominated v. female dominated relationships seems to be the dominant's attitude towards having intercourse with the sub. Specifically, many female dommes seem to restrict, or even completely deny, intercourse with their male subs, and some will restrict the sub's orgasms of any sort. Conversely, most male doms appear to feature intercourse with their female subs prominently in their D/s relationship, and often enjoy bringing the sub to orgasm. Any thoughts about this? Is it simply true that, generally speaking, men crave intercourse more than most women? Is there something inherently male domination oriented about penetrative intercourse? Other theories? Regards, ATP Males tend to have conventional vanilla views of D/s in regard to sex. Most do it to have easy acess to it. They fuck as thier perogative. In my experience, many Dommes have a feminist attitude that allows them the freedom to break away from this vanilla male usage-so they enjoy denying the males intercourse. They make NOT fucking thier perogative. Which is why most snicker at males trying to Dominate them. I have to admit to admiring Female Tops more for this than male ones. It's actually perverting the so called "natural order". Sublimating it for personal pleasure, rather than giving into it.

DiurnalVampire -> RE: Intercourse with subs (8/29/2006 9:18:43 PM)
Well, not to stand your theory completely on its ear, but sexual intercourse is part of my realtionship with the boy. And he reaches orgasm whenever I choose to allow him to. I do restrict his orgasms when he is on his own, I dont allow him t freely masturbate, however sexually I dont plan on placing any restrictions short of If I dont you cant. But then again, I often seem to identify coser to how male doms do things than female dommes... DV

Homestead -> RE: Intercourse with subs (8/29/2006 9:27:23 PM)
I'm Dominant. I don't like to be controlled by my glands any more than I want to be by a woman.

sctiepipn -> RE: Intercourse with subs (8/29/2006 9:28:41 PM)
I hate to say this and sound stupid but just my thoughts maybe it will be stated correctly later and I can remove the rest. For women compared to men. Yes men think more about the intercourse side if it, and as a lot of women do like the suspese of prolonging it the absense makes the heart grow fonder aspect. Meaning the more they hold it off the better it will be. There are some women out there that like it just as much and some a lot more than men do. I am relatively new to this lifestyle and still an experimentor/ learning about it. It was brought to my attention by a friend in Oklahoma, when I stayed with her in route from Georgia to Cali. At any rate I still ask her a lot about it and try to learn from my talks with her. Back to the point. To end my rambling, a lot of women like it just as much as men but also the control factor could be there also. Sorry if I boored the shit out of everybody while trying to get that out and no words were deleted/killled after the typing of this note/novel

sctiepipn -> RE: Intercourse with subs (8/29/2006 9:30:35 PM)
sorry forgot I have had GF's that have wanted it just as much as me, although they were relatively vanilla relationships, but I also tried to incorperate a little of the bdsm into it as I could to learn and liven it up.

juliaoceania -> RE: Intercourse with subs (8/29/2006 9:34:25 PM)
Perhaps there is something to what you theorize, I have seen many dommes post about not having sex with their male subs, but most of these that I have read were in some way professionals at least part of the time. I have read a few domme profiles that state they are looking for a partnership with a dom to help them dominate their male subs.. only having sex with the dom... it is not part of the lifestyle I am at all familiar with, so I read with interest, log it for later, and move on. I am glad my Daddy loves intercourse... hopefully he will remain "typical" in that regard.

MySweetSubmssive -> RE: Intercourse with subs (8/29/2006 9:50:05 PM)
I would certainly have sex with a submissive who I was in a relationship with. I will not entertain the notion of having sex with every person posing as a submissive who sends me mail. That I've observed, most inexperienced submissive men (and some of the experienced ones) assume that fuck is a part of the D/s package. My stance of not having sex is partly to weed out those folks who think BDSM is a quick route to sex. But D/s (for me), while riding on sexual energy, doesn't always have to culminate in one or both partners getting off, either. I'm very drawn to non-sexual service. Perhaps the clearest way of expressing my point of view is that while D/s can pave the way to physical intimacy, it does not presuppose it.

Homestead -> RE: Intercourse with subs (8/29/2006 9:54:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MySweetSubmssive I would certainly have sex with a submissive who I was in a relationship with. I will not entertain the notion of having sex with every person posing as a submissive who sends me mail. That I've observed, most inexperienced submissive men (and some of the experienced ones) assume that fuck is a part of the D/s package. My stance of not having sex is partly to weed out those folks who think BDSM is a quick route to sex. But D/s (for me), while riding on sexual energy, doesn't always have to culminate in one or both partners getting off, either. I'm very drawn to non-sexual service. Perhaps the clearest way of expressing my point of view is that while D/s can pave the way to physical intimacy, it does not presuppose it. Denying sex, while allowing a sub to get to know you in service, is a VERY good way to seperate the servants from the sensual bottoms.

MySweetSubmssive -> RE: Intercourse with subs (8/29/2006 10:00:10 PM)
Sensual is fine ... a slave to his own orgasms and kinks is not.

Homestead -> RE: Intercourse with subs (8/29/2006 10:01:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MySweetSubmssive Sensual is fine ... a slave to his own orgasms and kinks is not. I know. Bottoming from the top to a fetishsist is SO unfullfilling.[&:]

popeye1250 -> RE: Intercourse with subs (8/29/2006 10:05:43 PM)
Homestead, you're definately a different kind of Dominant than me! You mentioned in another thread that sex isn't that important to you, well I'm the opposite, "hyper-sexual" as you put it I guess. But that's ok, there's all kinds out here. I also use orgasm denial to deprive a sub sometimes for hours. The think about me having sex with a sub is that she exists for MY pleasure. I'll fuck her when I want to and she can like it or not like it, I really don't care. Do I like to give a sub orgasms? Hell yes and more than one! I like to see her body spasm from orgasm after orgasm until she is exhausted and laying in a sweaty heap. Until her clit is so sensitive loud music can make her cross her legs.

Homestead -> RE: Intercourse with subs (8/29/2006 10:10:04 PM)
That's fine popeye. I used to be pretty much like you are now..My tastes changed over the years as the mental side grew more attractive to me than the physical. I could go back to doing things the way you do at any time. But that would be living in the past to me.

Lordandmaster -> RE: Intercourse with subs (8/29/2006 10:12:05 PM)
Let me just make sure I understand what we're talking about. When we say "intercourse," we mean fucking, right?

popeye1250 -> RE: Intercourse with subs (8/29/2006 10:13:10 PM)
Homestead, where did I say that I don't like the psychological part of B&D?

MySweetSubmssive -> RE: Intercourse with subs (8/29/2006 10:13:56 PM)
I almost wish I were a little more fetish-driven. My primary interest is surrender, and I find it disruptive when someone starts telling me his fantasies (even when they are in areas I like). I respect people's rights to have their kinks fulfilled ... I just don't want to be the person who is their short-order cook.

bignipples2share -> RE: Intercourse with subs (8/29/2006 11:48:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster Let me just make sure I understand what we're talking about. When we say "intercourse," we mean fucking, right? < holding ribs while laughing > ~Big

popeye1250 -> RE: Intercourse with subs (8/29/2006 11:50:59 PM)
Gee, I feel so "unevolved." Homestead, so if a sub thinks she's going to have sex with you then she's shit out of luck?

NastyDaddy -> RE: Intercourse with subs (8/29/2006 11:54:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aimtoplease101 ... Is it simply true that, generally speaking, men crave intercourse more than most women? Is there something inherently male domination oriented about penetrative intercourse? Other theories? Generally speaking, one could say if that were simply true... men would have very few women to satisfy their cravings for intercourse with. Men would have to satisfy their wild cravings for intercourse with watermelons, sheep, zen's blow-up woman, or each other until the less than most women were available. The lines of men would be long for those few women who also enjoyed intercourse. One could say male dominants tend to reinforce their feelings of superiority by using intercourse and giving/allowing pleasure... while female dominants tend to reinforce their feelings of superiority by witholding intercourse and disallowing pleasure. Either way you look at it, male dominants always tend to find female subs and vice-versa... while female dominants always tend to find male subs and vice-versa. This "order of selection" seems to be paralleled somewhat in the vanilla world where you will find male dominated pairings/households as well as female dominated pairings/households. BDSM lifestyles simply allow the dominant of either gender to practice what they feel and wish, uncontested.

SweetDommes -> RE: Intercourse with subs (8/29/2006 11:55:28 PM)
I have sex with our boy(s). I like sex, why should I deny myself? I determine when and how, but ... yeah, I see no need to not have sex. I know some have a strict 'no sex' rule, but that's not for us ... or at least, not for me.

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