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Quotes Regarding Sex & Dating - 8/30/2006 1:03:17 PM   
Mercnbeth


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A few of these have lifestyle connotations...

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody Allen

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz SL600" Lynn Lavner

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant." George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship." Sharon Stone

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." Jack Nicholson
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." Robin Williams

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'."Jerry Seinfeld

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams

"It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom." Joan Rivers (Is she a Domme or sub?)

"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy." Steve Martin

"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life." Elmo Phillips (No question here - defiantly sub!)

"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same." Oscar Wilde

"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." George Burns
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RE: Quotes Regarding Sex & Dating - 8/30/2006 1:11:31 PM   
APiratesMistress


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"Sex is like air, it's only important when you aren't getting any" -unknown

_____________________________

"A rose can be painful for those who see not the danger in such beauty"
Mistress Malia

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: Quotes Regarding Sex & Dating - 8/30/2006 11:34:16 PM   
JustaDom


Posts: 84
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody Allen


I can't find the citation, but I'm pretty sure this was a Mae West line, not Woody Allen.  West was known for some wonderful gems over time, including:

"Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired."
"Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go everywhere else".

Joe

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: Quotes Regarding Sex & Dating - 8/30/2006 11:42:30 PM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
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"So my boyfriend Max and I are doing it, and Max says 'Sophie, you've got no tits but a tight box'  and I say 'MAX, get off my back!' "

--Sophie Tucker (attributed, by Bette Midler)

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: Quotes Regarding Sex & Dating - 8/31/2006 6:19:11 AM   
Saratov


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Pluto's dead?!?  Poor Mickey.  



(in reply to Emperor1956)
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RE: Quotes Regarding Sex & Dating - 9/2/2006 4:07:00 PM   
maledave777


Posts: 67
Joined: 8/5/2006
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Sex is like getting a chess set in the mail. 
You get one piece every 4 to 6 weeks. 
You don't know the condition of it but you still pay the shipping and handling charges... Bill Engvall

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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