RE: Slave Journaling

RE: Slave Journaling (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

masochistecstacy -> RE: Slave Journaling (8/31/2006 9:40:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Yourkajira my Master has decided that i am to begin journaling. He requested that i research it as it is used in D/s and to ask if anyone had any suggestions as prompts. When I was with my first Master, I started an online journal, having just discovered livejournal. I linked up to all sorts of bdsm groups there, posted on their lists, and posted on my own journal, and it felt great. I loved having that outlet, a place where I could write and write and write, and where other people into the lifestyle could see, respond, give advice. At first, I just did it for me, but later into our relationship, He found out about it. After that, I wrote in it for Him, and He also required me to keep a paper journal, which I was to write in every night, and when we got together, I would bring it for Him to read. Having journaling in both situations, when He knew, and when He didn't know, I feel that it's a great thing. It should be a place where you can record your thoughts, feelings, fears, etc, and have no worry over being punished or such for it. I would suggest that right after you play maybe, or meet with your Master, go out to dinner, etc, to write. Write when your emotions are strong, and then to balance it, after you've calmed down a bit. It's very interesting and a great thing to learn from, about yourself and your relationship. Good luck!!!!!!

Powerman40 -> RE: Slave Journaling (8/31/2006 9:57:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: krikket Way back i kept a journal at my Master's request. When i stumbled with what to share, he told me to share my day, my thoughts about the day, as well as my feelings. i was told to ask questions i'd like him to answer (in his time not always mine..lol), and then to share my feelings and thoughts about what his answers were. One thing he told me was the difference between a feeling and a thought or judgment. i might feel badly about something or someone, but if i say i "feel" that i made a mistake was a thought or opinion, rather than a feeling. Basically if thought/felt could be exchanged it was usually a thought or opinion. If i couldn't it exchange the words then chances were it was an opinion. This came about because what he was really interested in hearing how i felt about something. Yes, my opinions and thoughts were important to him, but for different reasons. He pointed out that, like almost all rules, there are exceptions (sorta like that eternal "but" our Doms and Masters are so fond of using..lol). Sometimes i'd use my journal (with his encouragement) to vent, to just get things off of my chest. Sometimes i'd ask questions, or show him pics i'd found what what i thought. We did do one thing that was rather unusual...he set up a website where we could both write to each other our thoughts and feelings and opinions. His feed back was almost right on...(and don't ya just "hate" that sometimes..lol). He didn't really care what i wrote about, as long as it was respectful to both of us. The other "rule" was that what ever we wrote about was safe from "anger" or retaliation, but was open to further discussion, from either side, at the right moment. While there were times when time was short, and frustration ran long, i wrote almost every day, and i learned more about myself at any time in my adult life. Good luck, and hope this helps. cheers jimini quote: ORIGINAL: Yourkajira my Master has decided that i am to begin journaling. He requested that i research it as it is used in D/s and to ask if anyone had any suggestions as prompts. Very well said. It truly is a great tool for learning about yourself, and each other. S

raiken -> RE: Slave Journaling (8/31/2006 10:15:01 AM)
i know many people who journal and the lifestyle orientation doesn't have much of a bearing in this regard. Keeping a diary has been around for a long time. There are many different reasons people have for writing down thoughts. Great authors have often began in keeping simple diaries, and years later, become published as memiors or biographical accounts, or even meshed in with a good fiction novel. Others keep thoughts to share with the next generatoin, etc. Others use journals to help them grow and chart their progress. Others write better than they can speak, so this medium of expression works for them. Others use it as a therapy for when they need someone to listen but can't express themselves easily so they write as an outlet. Others have published poems and short stories and songs from thoughts they previously recorded. Some folks just enjoy writing as a hobby. There are lots of great reasons why it is good to write. *smile

Steelriven -> RE: Slave Journaling (10/15/2006 10:29:13 AM)
Is there a no trolling rule on the message boards? Hehe. I just love it when I read an intelegent and insightfull conversation, and right smack dab in the conversation/messages is some twit droning on about something totally unrealted and useless. Journaling? Yes, I've kept a journal off and on for the last six years. This a place I can write anything. I can vent (and usually do) about anything going on in my life at the time. Instead of blowing up, or rushing into things I can take time to sit back and think about the situation. This usually occurs after I have journaled. My entires are generally a rush of emotions. I also enjoy taking a look back re-reading entires and seeing how I've changed, or how things were so different when...

DarkSideisXTC -> RE: Slave Journaling (10/15/2006 4:14:19 PM)
I feel very strongly as a Master that you should have your slave/submissive journal. It has been of great benefit to my slave and frankly to me. Many times a slave will have concerns that she is not comfortable discussing openly at first with her Master. Also being able to go back and read about your progress, feelings and emotions is very constructive to enhancing your surrender. I never let my slave go too long without journaling she gets punished if she doesn't. Master JR

charismagirrl -> RE: Slave Journaling (10/15/2006 6:24:07 PM)
my Daddy/Master has me journal as well. Part of it is as a tool for him to see into me more deeply. i write about my fantasies and these let him know more where my head is sexually. i write out my feelings (good and bad)...i write lists...lots of lists. Lists of what would make me the happiest (down to really fine detail so we can look back over the list and see what's been achieved)...i write lists of logical things (vs the crazy stuff my mind can make up) Things about what makes me happy about Daddy and about myself. (and on and on) Also, Daddy brought it to my attention that when you write you tend to write truths and it can help me realize things that i may have overlooked when i just write free form (kind of like my own therapist). i write on paper and have a private myspace and livejournal to blog for just my Daddy. i'm not always as consistent as i should be but i do try.

cacodylic -> RE: Slave Journaling (10/15/2006 10:00:01 PM)
I just say "no" to journals [and those who insist on them]

ameha21 -> RE: Slave Journaling (10/10/2007 4:45:36 AM)
i pretty much agree with charisma's master. those are the same reasons why i have my slaves do journals. i want their thoughts and feelings about the lifestyle, what it means to them to be a slave. their feelings about me. their fantasies and desires. why they want to be slaves.

breatheasone -> RE: Slave Journaling (10/10/2007 5:05:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Yourkajira my Master has decided that i am to begin journaling. He requested that i research it as it is used in D/s and to ask if anyone had any suggestions as prompts. Was there anything in paticular that your master wanted you to find out over here in "D/s"....Styles or what is written, that kind of thing?...what is it that you were supposed to "research?" just curious....

SunNMoon -> RE: Slave Journaling (10/10/2007 6:29:59 AM)
I am a big supporter of journaling without even being related to D/s. I find it just very helpful in day to day life, just having an outlet for all those crazy moments and thoughts that you have and just to whine to some thing without making other people sick of you. I’ve been keeping (a paper journal) since I was 11 or 12, it has helped me so much over the years. I also have an online journal (livejournal I recommend) which I started in relation to my D/s and kink feelings. The goal of it was so that my now ex, then boyfriend could gain insight into my thoughts and feelings on different aspects of BDSM. It has since continued to be about my different thoughts on BDSM and life in general. It’s public so it’s fun having a place to be so open. Through the topics are not as open as my paper journals I have found it helpful to get feed back from different people and having a chance to read their thoughts as well. I do plan on asking my future SO to keep a journal too, so I can learn about him. I would ask your Master the reason for which he desires for you to keep a journal, since then you would know what kind of things to include. quote: ORIGINAL: Yourkajira my Master has decided that i am to begin journaling. He requested that i research it as it is used in D/s and to ask if anyone had any suggestions as prompts.

breatheasone -> RE: Slave Journaling (10/10/2007 6:38:38 AM)
I guess I'm confused....I can see where writing would be helpful to the person doing the writing...organize thoughts and such...but if its for someone else to get to know you...then what about good old fashion talking and conversation?...or am I missing the point entirely? I mean isnt that like getting the answers for a test so you don't have to study for the test? just asking, cause I'd really like to understand.

slavegirljoy -> RE: Slave Journaling (10/10/2007 6:46:15 AM)
i like using My Journal (http://www.my-journal.com.) It's easy to use and allows me a lot of freedom to personalize it the way i want. i like the way it looks and i like going back and reading my past entries. It offers me the opportunity to reflect and remember things i might have forgotten, if i hadn't written them down, soon after they happened. As far as suggestions for prompts, i don't use any. i just write about the events in my life and how i felt before, during and after they happened. i don't write every day but, i do make a point of keeping it current and not letting too much time pass between entries so that i don't forget things before i write them down. Journaling is no different to me than keeping a diary, which i have done off and on throughout my life. A lot of times, there are so many feelings going on inside me, that it helps to write it out as soon as i can. Writing my thoughts and feelings down in a journal doesn't replace my direct communication with my Master. It supplements it. He reads my journal and there have been a few times when my journal entry sparked a conversation between Uus that turned out to be some of the deepest and most revealing talks Wwe have had. my Master insists that i share my thoughts, feelings, hopes and fears with Him and He insists on my complete honesty with Him. He encourages me to write openly and honestly in my journal, as well as talking to Him. Writing in my journal helps me to keep things in perspective. Keeping a journal has been a very good record of my journey and is much more accurate than relying on my memory. It allows me to go back and read what was happening and how i was feeling 6 months ago and a year ago and 2 years ago. It's helps me to look back and see where i was and where i have come and how i got here. Writing down your thoughts and feelings, especially in a place where others such as, someone you are intimately involved with and writing about, can read it, can be a little intimidating but, the more you do it, the easier it gets. If you don't know where to start, you can just make your first entry an introduction of yourself and where you're currently at, in your life. It's just a starting point. If you don't want others to read your journal, you can make it private. slave joyOwned property of Master David quote: ORIGINAL: Yourkajira my Master has decided that i am to begin journaling. He requested that i research it as it is used in D/s and to ask if anyone had any suggestions as prompts.

SunNMoon -> RE: Slave Journaling (10/10/2007 7:09:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: breatheasone I guess I'm confused....I can see where writing would be helpful to the person doing the writing...organize thoughts and such...but if its for someone else to get to know you...then what about good old fashion talking and conversation?...or am I missing the point entirely? My ex and I were long distance, so our conversation time was limited do to that fact. So it helped to post something then if he wanted to we could talk about it, and if I felt it needed to be discussed I could bring it up. I think the biggest part of it is, you get it out and they may not be around to hear it. Some of us (me) have really bad memories so reading someone’s journal helps to remember different things. Also to get there view on how something happened. What I’m trying to say is that it just another tool to help with the conversation and the traditional get to know you questions. It’s also another way of being open to a person. quote: I mean isnt that like getting the answers for a test so you don't have to study for the test? just asking, cause I'd really like to understand. Hmm, it’s like getting the essay questions which could be on the test before hand, it helps you study but you still don’t know everything that is going to be on the test. Or like reading the book jacket before reading the whole book. You learn a little that you wouldn’t have, and it helps to know what to ask next.

torchure -> RE: Slave Journaling (10/10/2007 2:32:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: breatheasone but if its for someone else to get to know you...then what about good old fashion talking and conversation?...or am I missing the point entirely? I mean isnt that like getting the answers for a test so you don't have to study for the test? just asking, cause I'd really like to understand. I know from my vanilla marriage that she had a very difficult time talking about some subjects. It was much easier for her to write them down in a diary though. As a way to encourage our conversation, even if it wasn't verbal, I suggested that she write what she couldn't say in a single journal, which we would both then be able to read. Because she also had problems listening to those same subjects, it became a written conversation. Sort of letters back and forth about topics that were difficult for her to discuss. It seemed to help. Of course, that marriage is over and done with at this point, so maybe it didn't help at all. chuckle

Celeste43 -> RE: Slave Journaling (10/10/2007 3:17:17 PM)
I've never journaled, never kept a diary nor any interest in it. But back when we were LDR, I would email him twice daily usually and frequently those letters would be about what I was trying to make sense of. It was easier for me to write to him, and know I would get answers and feedback than to write, knowing he would read it, but I would be left on my own to muddle through stuff. If I'm writing for someone else to read it, then it's a conversation and I don't want a one way conversation. If it's just for me and he wouldn't read it, then it's like talking to a mirror. Just doesn't do it for me at all.

littlebitxxx -> RE: Slave Journaling (10/10/2007 3:21:34 PM)
I have a question and it is not meant to offend anyone. So many Masters want their subs/slaves to journal: their thoughts, feelings, desires, fantasies, how they feel about their submission, why they want to be a slave, how they feel they can do better/more....all as a way to understand their sub better and to know better how to get the best out of their submission. The question: why don't Masters do the same thing?

Viridana -> RE: Slave Journaling (10/10/2007 4:11:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Yourkajira my Master has decided that i am to begin journaling. He requested that i research it as it is used in D/s and to ask if anyone had any suggestions as prompts. My first question would be: how thorough and personal is this journal going to be? I've met people who keep journals online (blog) who didn't quite realize that a blog is open to everyone and people are going to read it!! Google and web browsing is a powerful tool and sometimes people whom aren't supposed to read it (coworkers, family members, their own children or someone in their class) stumble upon it and the blogging could come back biting you in the rear end. An online friend of mine for instance blogged about her genital warts at one time and a class mate of her teenage son stumbled upon it and the kid got hassled to no end for it. So I would advise that if the journal is to be really personal, then a word document that you pass over regularly to your dom is more appropriate than to write a public weblog. If not, then blogspot, livejournal and many other free blogspaces are good starts. I personally both use blogspot and mydungeonspace to blog, and I'm very satisfied with both Good luck in your journal efforts :)

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Slave Journaling (10/10/2007 4:57:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlebitxxx I have a question and it is not meant to offend anyone. So many Masters want their subs/slaves to journal: their thoughts, feelings, desires, fantasies, how they feel about their submission, why they want to be a slave, how they feel they can do better/more....all as a way to understand their sub better and to know better how to get the best out of their submission. The question: why don't Masters do the same thing? Generally because of stereotypes and because journaling keeps fems busy and feeling connected so the dom doesn't actually have to exert any actual energy on their part to maintain a chunk of the relationship. Knowledge is power, a lot of relationships try to build on the dom knowing all and the sub knowing none or as little as necessary. Lots of subs get off on believing their dom can read them just like an open book (until the dom starts reading things they don't like, or not DOING what they want). Slaves are supposed to anticipate what their masters want, but not actually ever "understand the mystery." This is all the ideal fantasy stereotype perspective at least.

Tigrita -> RE: Slave Journaling (10/10/2007 5:13:33 PM)
Journaling is something I do frequently regardless of whether I'm with someone or not, and it is mine, and mine alone. When I am with someone and there are issues coming up, it helps me pull out threads of thought from a jumble of confusing and often conflicting emotions. I can write out all the trains of thought, complete them, even though they are conflicting, take my time to find them, process them and then make sense of them over a few days. I can't do that while they are all flying around in my head. Then this serves as a way to organize what the real issues are, find the consistency, and makes it easier to communicate with my partner about it without him having to follow aaaaaaallllllll of my convoluted thought process and internal conflicts were we to talk about all of it at the moment I felt it.

Hergirl0824 -> RE: Slave Journaling (10/10/2007 6:20:57 PM)
Ma'am does not require me to journal but does encourage it. Being a new submissive i find it helps me organize my thoughts and helps me keep things in perspective. Also it gives me a place to write down things i might be struggling with that She can discuss with me later. W/we both have very hectic schedules and sometimes do not get the time for long discussions on a daily basis.

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109375