Paulnz
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quote:
I need information in NZ.. I have a sub, a good friend who is going through a very messy divorce. she has a protection order because it was a domestic violence situation. Her ex has no visitation no rights at all apparently.
As the guy has a restraining order out against him, he has few rights, and shouldn't even be on her property. Divorce in NZ is very simple. After 2 years separation you are divorced. There is no blame system in existence any more. Where it gets messy is in relation to matrimonial property and custody of the children. Whether legally married or not, straight or gay, all property becomes part of the relationship after 3 years.
Family Court proceedings are strictly confidential. Basically either partner can say whatever they like in the Family Court. This is where it gets risky for your friend. He will use the BDSM angle with the Judge and may succeed if the Judge is not sympathetic. Having said that, the Family Court puts the interests of the Child first, and this almost always means the Mother gets custody.
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She ended up having to call the police to arrest him. He became very vindictive and told the police the whole thing about bdsm and that he was afraid for there son's safety.
The police to a certain extent sided with him and told her she should sever all ties to the community "for the good of your child. You know how those people prey on children"
She is now going to be investigated by child protective services because he has requested an investigation.
Having the police arrest him was very good as there will now be a record of his having defied a Court order. I would follow this up with a letter from a Solicitor advising him that any further breaches will result in an immediate call to the police, and his subsequent arrest. I would copy this to the police with a covering letter, pointing out that it is not appreciated having their officers advising on lifestyle choices. If he turns up again and the police attend the scene, it is more likely he would spend a night in jail, as he would have reoffended. It could be mentioned to the police that she fears for her safety, and this would make them search his vehicle, and if he has a gun, knife or anything that could be used as a weapon he could be charged with possessing an offensive weapon ( this DOES work ).
An investigation by CYF's is serious. Take it seriously. Be a model of decorum. They can take the children away indefinitely.
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It is my understanding that even in NZ bdsm is a protected alternative sexuality and she is no more likely to lose her kids than she would be if she was gay.
It is my understanding that the days of people losing their children over this are past and the investigation will be cursory and will not be anything to worry about.
But I am an American and my impressions of NZ law can be flawed.
While NZ law is far more liberal than the USA, the Crimes Act can be a sobering read. The following are a list of possible BDSM crimes - indecency in a public place, assault, grievous bodily harm ( or attempt to cause, and/or conspiracy to cause ), manslaughter, bestiality, rape and murder.
Having said that the most famous case in relation to BDSM is the murder trial of dominatrix Renee Chignall ( the Peter Plumley Walker case ). This is the longest murder trial in Commonwealth history, and resulted in her acquittal. The brief facts of this case was the victim died while he was tied up and the dominatrix had left the room. The defense maintained that a murder couldn't have occurred as there was no intent on her part, and in any event he had consented. While it gives some encouragement I would counsel caution. Consent on its own would not be a good argument. If you intend to harm, and a complaint is laid, then you can be in serious trouble regardless of consent.
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Can anyone give me some actual advice I can pass on. Anyone she can talk to in the legal field, anyone with actual information on what she can expect. (Apparently her dad is some respected Lawyer but she does not anticipate his support).
I am horrified that this investigation is even happening in this day and age. And she is of course rather traumatized by the very thought.
Thank you for any help or advice you can offer.
Ahze
As she has a lawyer father I would be surprised if she doesn't already have a good idea of who to contact. If she can't afford a good Solicitor, then try the Citizens Advice Bureau for starters. She could also go and see her local Member of Parliament and let CYF's know that she has done this !! Having an MP oversight on what a Government department is doing makes them watch themselves very carefully
< Message edited by Paulnz -- 1/4/2005 3:52:26 PM >
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BDSM and the law NZ advice sought - 
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