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I am new to the lifestyle - 9/1/2006 10:27:00 AM

MizterMaster

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Joined: 11/23/2005
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I am new to this lifestyle and I have a question for you. I thought being vanilla was another way of saying being white. Will you please clairify this for me

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RE: I am new to the lifestyle - 9/1/2006 10:32:13 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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In BDSM "vanilla" means those types of sexual and relationship interactions that do not involve the overt displays of SM or bondage or discipline or the dynamics of Ds.

I say overt because most human relationships (in my opinion) do have these qualities but they are haphazzard, socially expected, or forced by someone else.

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Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MizterMaster)

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RE: I am new to the lifestyle - 9/1/2006 10:33:47 AM

Lashra

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Joined: 2/9/2006
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Vanilla means people who aren't into the BDSM lifestyle or kinks or as the BDSM dictionary says: Vanilla- Not a person into BDSM. Ingrained society norms and referred to as "mainstream." Pro-creation sex between a man and woman.

Hope it helps,

~Lashra

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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to MizterMaster)

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RE: I am new to the lifestyle - 9/1/2006 10:36:14 AM

tiger182

Posts: 11
Joined: 8/27/2006
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Im a vanilla and I like bdsm

or atleast the kinky fetish stuff

(in reply to Lashra)

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RE: I am new to the lifestyle - 9/1/2006 8:31:06 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
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Then you're not vanilla! That's the point. If you're into BDSM and kinks, you're not exactly the missionary-position behind-closed-doors in-the-dark once-a-month or on birthdays-and-anniversaries type of person!

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Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to tiger182)

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RE: I am new to the lifestyle - 9/2/2006 1:02:33 PM

mp072004

Posts: 381
Joined: 12/22/2005
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When kinky people talk about vanilla people, it means people who identify as sexually and relationally mainstream. I'm somewhat in line with TammyJo; most people have relational power dynamics that are like d/s, many like a bit of pain, but for most people, these behaviors are not exaggerated enough that they care to identify themselves as unconventional.

Sexually vanilla people aren't uniformly caricatures of prudery and asexuality. Procreative and shame-filled, heterosexual, generally male-oriented vaginal sex might be considered extremely vanilla. People who think sex is fun, but don't think sex with handcuffs and paddles is fun are also vanilla.

Monica

(in reply to MizterMaster)

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RE: I am new to the lifestyle - 9/2/2006 4:03:06 PM

DivaDuchess

Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
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Vanilla ... Straight, missionary, no whips or tied hands and feet. I thought that was cute though, thinking it was a color *lol*. Very good.

_____________________________

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Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to mp072004)

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