Quick question on finding an online dom (Full Version)

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Shalyn -> Quick question on finding an online dom (9/1/2006 3:36:35 PM)

Hello.
Im pretty new here to the forums but I have a quick question. I thought I knew what to look for and all of that but it seems I have recieved quite few emails since I joined here. I feel like Im fresh meat so to speak. I am basically looking for an online master. I pretty much weeded thru the emails and deleted the 90% or so that seemed like wannabes but the other few, I held on to. I asked them to go into detail about how it works out in an online relationship. I had 7 out of 10 reply back to me. Now what Im wondering is, what are some good questions to ask when searching for the right dom? Any suggestions would be helpful and very much appreciated. Thanks, Shalyn



mistoferin -> RE: Quick question on finding an online dom (9/1/2006 3:43:21 PM)

Well, I've never had or really even thought seriously about having an online Dom...but I would think that the most important requirement would be typing ability. Actually, if it was only going to be online I don't think that there would be any other requirements.



mstrjx -> RE: Quick question on finding an online dom (9/1/2006 3:53:16 PM)

It must have needed to be an AWFULLY quick question.  The lass is collared already.

In the cyber world, does that amount to electrical play, do you think?

Jeff



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Quick question on finding an online dom (9/1/2006 4:14:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
Well, I've never had or really even thought seriously about having an online Dom...but I would think that the most important requirement would be typing ability. Actually, if it was only going to be online I don't think that there would be any other requirements.

Well you should also make sure they aren't planning to do any life changes which would require them to be OFFLINE for any extended periods, or to make sure that you can handle when they go on vacations without net access.



CrappyDom -> RE: Quick question on finding an online dom (9/1/2006 4:35:29 PM)

I am just relieved she was able to sort out the wannabees, that is sometimes so hard for online submissives to do.



perverseangelic -> RE: Quick question on finding an online dom (9/1/2006 4:36:54 PM)

Jesu maria. This was posted less than an hour ago, it looks like, and you've already decided on someone's collar? Wow. 



juliaoceania -> RE: Quick question on finding an online dom (9/1/2006 4:56:44 PM)

There must have been a clear "winner" vying for her attentions.. I wonder what made him stand out among the other half a dozen suitors



Shalyn -> RE: Quick question on finding an online dom (9/1/2006 4:57:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx

It must have needed to be an AWFULLY quick question.  The lass is collared already.

In the cyber world, does that amount to electrical play, do you think?

Jeff



I am not collared..My profile says this because one of the people I talked to last night said if I put that in my profile, it would keep all the emails down a bit and it has worked



mnottertail -> RE: Quick question on finding an online dom (9/1/2006 4:58:25 PM)

Half-Dozen---lol Julie, you poor thing, why I would think you are still getting several billion trolls per nanosecond...........she is newer

Ron 



tvsarahjo -> RE: Quick question on finding an online dom (9/1/2006 5:00:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
Well, I've never had or really even thought seriously about having an online Dom...but I would think that the most important requirement would be typing ability. Actually, if it was only going to be online I don't think that there would be any other requirements.

Well you should also make sure they aren't planning to do any life changes which would require them to be OFFLINE for any extended periods, or to make sure that you can handle when they go on vacations without net access.


From my own very limited experience these are two very pertinent points. I was once overjoyed at finding a Keyholder for my chastity device. No sooner had the relationship started with me safely under her lock and key, when she disappeared on vacation for 2 weeks when I was feeling very vulnerable. Another Domme I am currently getting to know online has just gone away for 3 weeks, I miss our daily chats terribly.



Shalyn -> RE: Quick question on finding an online dom (9/1/2006 5:00:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

There must have been a clear "winner" vying for her attentions.. I wonder what made him stand out among the other half a dozen suitors



Go easy on me please. I am new here and Im still learning but I guess we all are. He did stand out because he is the age Im looking for, he is in the same state as I am. I am looking for it to be online but I am also wanting to keep the option open that if by chance, it become offline also. I am not collared yet but He is the one who stands out among the others who I had recieved emails from.

Thank all of you for the replies:)



cuddleheart50 -> RE: Quick question on finding an online dom (9/1/2006 5:01:49 PM)

Finding the right Dom online or off is weeding through all the crap, good luck.



perverseangelic -> RE: Quick question on finding an online dom (9/1/2006 5:01:58 PM)

Sure it'll keep down trolls, but if you're still looking it will also scare away the "good ones."

Look at it this way, anyone who e-mails you now is the type of person that would attempt to take someone away from his/her owner, who doesnt' read profiles, or who doesn't care what the profile-writer is looking for. You've essentially eliminated everyone who is, in my book, worth having.

If they're worth it, they won't violate someone's collar, IMHO. I dont' know a lot of people that will e-mail someone's supposid owner to ask "hey, can I be with her too?"



Shalyn -> RE: Quick question on finding an online dom (9/1/2006 5:03:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

Sure it'll keep down trolls, but if you're still looking it will also scare away the "good ones."

Look at it this way, anyone who e-mails you now is the type of person that would attempt to take someone away from his/her owner, who doesnt' read profiles, or who doesn't care what the profile-writer is looking for. You've essentially eliminated everyone who is, in my book, worth having.

If they're worth it, they won't violate someone's collar, IMHO. I dont' know a lot of people that will e-mail someone's supposid owner to ask "hey, can I be with her too?"



You just made a very good point. I hadn't thought of it like that. Thank you



juliaoceania -> RE: Quick question on finding an online dom (9/1/2006 5:43:44 PM)

I would think this "number one suitor" you spoke of has thought of the fact that if you put "collared" on your profile, only a wanker HNG would contact you. I would think that he knows this and wants to take you  off the market without the actual commitment of even a cyber collar. I am in an exclusive relationship, and the only people that still try to get my attention are those that are less than honorable.

The only advice I will give is that you should not be dishonest about your availablity, you do not have to explain to anyone why you do not respond. I would not take myself off the market until I was very sure about someone. Another dominant with a lot to offer won't contact you, and this one may not be around next week, much less next month. If this is the only dom you want to talk to, spell out you are devoting your time to "getting to know someone", and will not be responding to emails as you do not want to divide your attention... this lets others that maybe interested the signal that you maybe available again in the near future... so they can watch your profile and approach if things change...

But that is just how I did it, you may have a different way of doing things that works for you



Shalyn -> RE: Quick question on finding an online dom (9/1/2006 5:59:37 PM)

Thank you Julia. I have taken the "collared by" part off of my profile. He did just all of the sudden come out that i should put that on my profile. I am sure I will make plenty of mistakes here and this is the 1st of many. But I do believe there should be a "getting to know you" phase before being collared.Again, thanks for your reply



CrappyDom -> RE: Quick question on finding an online dom (9/1/2006 6:03:04 PM)

Oh please dear god, I wish so many more put "collared" on their profiles.  Training collars and mentors are even better.  Helps crappy assholes like me spot the idiots so we can focus on the ones with brains bigger than peas.



Shalyn -> RE: Quick question on finding an online dom (9/1/2006 6:09:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Oh please dear god, I wish so many more put "collared" on their profiles.  Training collars and mentors are even better.  Helps crappy assholes like me spot the idiots so we can focus on the ones with brains bigger than peas.


Im not sure exactly how you meant that towards me but if one is collared, then by all means, they need to put it on there profile.



mstrjx -> RE: Quick question on finding an online dom (9/1/2006 6:10:00 PM)

<---- trying for the third time to find the right words

I can't speak for everyone here, but I think it's fair to say that we would like for you to do well here.  After a fashion we all want that for ourselves, and each other, in whatever we are doing here.

Unfortunately this doesn't always happen.

It's all right to make mistakes.  It might even be OK to be naive for a short while.

At some point in time, you are going to allow someone to have your vulnerability.  It is your desire, but it should be your mandate that someone worthy, who will protect and cherish your vulnerability, be your choice.

I don't know what your experience level is in the BDSM world, but depending on your heart, who you choose to serve might be the last choice you make.

You don't want to make a poor choice.  We don't want that either.  Take your time.  Be a little selfish while it is still appropriate.

Jeff



popeye1250 -> RE: Quick question on finding an online dom (9/1/2006 6:18:55 PM)

Dunno, I don't do "online" or "Cyber."



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