Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

new to the scene/ d/s


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> new to the scene/ d/s Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
new to the scene/ d/s - 9/2/2006 12:33:16 PM   
bondageangel22


Posts: 22
Joined: 8/31/2006
Status: offline 		Hi. I have been into BDSM for awhile now but wnated to get into the scene/lifestyle more. My current partner has decided to get involved and we need some tips/advice.

Where to start would be a big help. Are there any training guides for example we could follow, any books that are informative? We know this won't come overnight but need advice about STARTING a d/s relationship.

Any types of easy/soft play, where to go from when reaching a stage.

Many Thanks to all who reply, BAngel xx

Forgot to mention, I'm the sub, he's the dom: SecretD

< Message edited by bondageangel22 -- 9/2/2006 12:34:13 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: new to the scene/ d/s - 9/2/2006 1:27:10 PM   
bondageangel22


Posts: 22
Joined: 8/31/2006
Status: offline 		Hmpf.

(in reply to bondageangel22)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: new to the scene/ d/s - 9/2/2006 2:04:31 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		My advice for Novice Female Submissives

Newbie!

At a loss

I'm a new domme seeking advice

Does a slave also have to be a fool?

sub: totally new concept

Questions for other newbies

The Journey

Starting Out

New to the Life, Help

How to deal?

Request for Advice

Advice please: Relationships, bdsm, love and boundaries

First time sub seeking you advice- how to find the right master?

First time sub seeking advice

a newbie seeking advice

How can I be a great sub?

Brand new life

Help needed

Emotional Rollercoaster

Welcoming newbies

New to this

Just a few questions

Do's and Dont's


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to bondageangel22)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: new to the scene/ d/s - 9/2/2006 6:01:20 PM   
Kinkypupper


Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline 		A lot depends on where yout located. Look up your local bdsm group ( they may be hard to find) or search for a local munch. If there is nothing local consider going to one of the larger events  Kinkfest or Folsom Fringe or leatherwoods etc.
On line there is a lot of crap and very little truth. One of the best on line sites is castlerealm dot com.

Phil

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: new to the scene/ d/s - 9/2/2006 10:41:04 PM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline 		gotta say, CastleRealm is one of the old standards, and you should look thru it ...only because it is an old standard and it will give you that feeling of "common knowledge".   (And you'll understand when you come across jokes about rose colored glasses and "realmers")  but for a practical site, neiayhh...

It's written from one perspective only, that of a live in 24.7 male Master/ female slave.  The focus is on the relationship dynamic, and that relationship dynamic is one of whole romance, love and adoration M/s. There is nothing wrong with that, and for many, that IS the ideal.    You'll find a lot of love poetry and stuff, the site was a mirror of and memorial to a M/s couple and their journey. 

Please just remember that other couple-systems work too, Female Dominant/ male slave or submissive.. Gay/gay Gay/straight, Authority based family pods/ poly,  Romantic based all the way to obedience only with absence of romantic involvement, sexual play only..  no sexual play ever.. you get the idea.

Other sites have collections of info.. http://LeathernRoses.com is good for this, it holds an array of articles from varied perspectives, but the time investment can be Hours of wading thru. Which really fed my need in the early days, so don't shy away from it! 

Franklin Veaux "Why BDSM?"  articles are fabu, easy reading, a very light time investment:  http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdsm.html 
You'll also find links to His writtings on poly and other topics there.  When you don't know enough yet to know what questions to ask.. this is the site i recommend. 

Then you have jumping off topics for asking Q's here and fleshing things out more!  good luck!


(in reply to Kinkypupper)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: new to the scene/ d/s - 9/3/2006 3:22:23 AM   
bondageangel22


Posts: 22
Joined: 8/31/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks for the sites, I'll go through them today. And I'm in Manchester, apparently a good area?

(in reply to Mavis)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: new to the scene/ d/s - 9/3/2006 4:45:54 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		Start with these three rules.

1. learn the rules of the place you wish to scene at. There are normaly general restrictions envolving genital nudity, intercourse, and the showing of access blood.

2. Learn what a Dungeon Master is and respect them when one taps you on your shoulder to suggest that your scene needs to either stop or have a change for public view.

3. Though it is normally accepted for you to pull up a chair and watch anyones scene, the understanding is that you may only watch. You should never interfere with a scene. Only talk to the people involved in the scene after it's over. After all, do you want to be the geek that taps a dom on the shoulder "Hey, mind if I cut in and have a go with your flogger?" Also, yelling "Hit that bitch harder!" or telling another dom how to do there scene is not being polite. If you see something that is threatening or a health issue, take it up with a DM. That's what they are there for.

Remember that each has there own. Watch a few couples scene first to get a feel for the place. There's no need to be copy cat. Watching first is to give you an idea of what's accepted for public view and can give you a few ideas of how you may want to start and end your scene. My advise is to remember that you're there to socialize and have a good time. There's no need to put on a show. Never go and scene in public to prove anything. The needing to prove how much dom you are can put your sub at risk. You sub has nothing to prove either. No matter what your scene looks like, you're having it for the pleasure of you and yours. If someone thinks it's sloppy or boring, they can just bend over and toss there own salad. 

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to bondageangel22)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: new to the scene/ d/s - 9/3/2006 8:55:30 AM   
bondageangel22


Posts: 22
Joined: 8/31/2006
Status: offline 		Tbh I don't think we'll be going to a club for awhile. We mihgt go to the next munch in Manchester though.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: new to the scene/ d/s - 9/3/2006 6:14:14 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bondageangel22

Hi. I have been into BDSM for awhile now but wnated to get into the scene/lifestyle more. My current partner has decided to get involved and we need some tips/advice.

Where to start would be a big help. Are there any training guides for example we could follow, any books that are informative? We know this won't come overnight but need advice about STARTING a d/s relationship.

Any types of easy/soft play, where to go from when reaching a stage.



Here's a link for a group in Manchester that maintains a calendar of events for your area:

http://www.bdsm-manchester.org.uk/

The remaining links have been posted before but are of benefit for you and your partner:

Best Slave Training: http://www.bestslavetraining.com/Welcome.htm
Gor on Earth - Slave Musings (kaylee's site is very good): http://www.gor-on-earth.com/kayindex.htm
Internal Enslavement: http://www.enslavement.org.uk/
Leather and Roses: http://www.leathernroses.com/submission/journeysub.htm#advice
Albany Power Exchange: http://www.albanypowerexchange.com/Default1.htm
Jack Rinella's Leather Views (has a weekly column): http://www.leatherviews.com/home.htm
BDSM Resource Center (check out the book reviews): http://www.thebrc.net/home.htm
Within Reality (lots of links as well): http://www.withinreality.com/main.html
The Dominant's View: http://www.thedomsview.com/intro.htm
Service With A Smile: http://www.wildfleurs.com/service/service.html
Soul's Haven (BDSM checklist that can be completed online): http://www.soulshaven.f2s.com/nchk_main.php3
The Iron Gate: http://www.the-iron-gate.com/
D/s World Magazine: http://www.bdsmlife.net/dsworld/main.html
Seekers.org: http://www.seekers.org.uk/
Sensuous Sadie (has a weekly column): http://www.sensuoussadie.com/home.htm

I wish you luck.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to bondageangel22)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: new to the scene/ d/s - 9/4/2006 2:06:31 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		My advice, read anything BUT CastleRealm.  It is BS of the worst order.

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: new to the scene/ d/s - 9/4/2006 2:12:05 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

My advice, read anything BUT CastleRealm.  It is BS of the worst order.

Is not.  I think it's actually ap retty good site with a nice POV for people to come into.  I think it just gets a bad rap because it's so popular and people use it towards their own fluffy fantasy illusions.

I support castlerealm.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: new to the scene/ d/s - 9/5/2006 12:06:06 AM   
JustaDom


Posts: 84
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom
My advice, read anything BUT CastleRealm.  It is BS of the worst order.


I'd love to see you post an example to back up that claim.

A ways back, there were pretty much two BDSM resources on the web, CastleRealm ( http://www.castlerealm.com ) and The D/s Kiosk ( http://www.cuffs.com ).  It has a good mix of being poetic, romantic and informative.  Up until Jade died, they were accepting submissions to get a variety of opinions.  The site pretty much became an archive at that point.

Tammad's site is still up,  http://ms.ha.md.us/~tammad/  .  I believe he died in 2000 in a car accident, the site is being maintained partly as a memorial and partly because it is still that good.

My best wishes to you and yours,

Joe

(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 12
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> new to the scene/ d/s Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.063