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What should I do next? - 9/2/2006 6:24:31 PM   
Adelphus


Posts: 87
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline 		All right! Time to ask the crowd.
I have spent so long searching for the right woman that I forgot what to do once I found her!
I have met, spoken with and had a most INCREDIBLE SCENE with someone all in one night at a party last Saturday. We have since exchanged several letters and she is in fact very interested in continuing with me. She even wants to come to the reception of my gallery show this month! Rainbows are plentiful and fairies are real! What could possibly go wrong?
Cold feet perhaps?
Just like a groom before his wedding, I'm finding myself freaking out, almost paralyzed. So I ask you all, honoured dommes, if you where in my domme's shoes (and I know you will all have different opinions), what would you prefer I do next? I've never made it this far before!
I don't know how bold, how at ease, how deferential I should be. I don't want to be over-eager, I don't want to rush into anything too fast, but I don't want to lose her either.
AAH! I thought finding her was the hard part but this is even harder!
A silly question to ask I know and I thank those of you who reply in advance.
Cheers!
-Adelphus

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What should I do next? - 9/2/2006 6:44:52 PM   
MistressWolfen


Posts: 578
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		I think a nice cuppa chamomile tea is called for. Sit down, focus and relax. She is interested in you and coming to your opening, just be yourself! She obviously was taken with you enough to approach you and continue to communicate with you .... so smile and enjoy her company. Best of luck!

_____________________________

Quoth the raven

(in reply to Adelphus)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What should I do next? - 9/2/2006 7:43:05 PM   
Carameldomme


Posts: 65
Joined: 11/8/2004
Status: offline 		Personally, I would prefer you relax- meaning, don't trip over yourself trying to figure me out or figure out how to hang on to me, and be attentive and perceptive. The easiest way to handle it is to be yourself, and show by your actions that you want to please the Domme.  Give her  a strong dose of courtesy and respect.

That's just me, for THAT Domme, I'd say 'ask'.
Tell her you are very interested and excited, and that you need some direction. She's the Domme, it's what she does.




(in reply to Adelphus)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: What should I do next? - 9/2/2006 7:45:34 PM   
MistressTheaZ


Posts: 155
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressWolfen

I think a nice cuppa chamomile tea is called for. Sit down, focus and relax. She is interested in you and coming to your opening, just be yourself! She obviously was taken with you enough to approach you and continue to communicate with you .... so smile and enjoy her company. Best of luck!


Agreed! Your only obstacle here seems to be yourself.

It may be scary when wanting something for so long and then confronted with it actually happening, but try not to let your anxieties get in the way of enjoying this and seeing what could be. Focus on your show coming up, on friends or family to boost your spirits and keep you laughing and feeling good, and look forward to exploring things with this new prospect. Anytime you have those 'freeze' moments, replace them with a good memory - maybe of the conversations you've had with Her or a mental picture of that scene you mentioned. Think of yourself talking and laughing with Her, and Her responding in kind. Positive visualization, baby!

Best,

Thea 

(in reply to MistressWolfen)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: What should I do next? - 9/2/2006 7:46:33 PM   
formenteralady


Posts: 76
Joined: 8/4/2006
Status: offline 		Congrats, I'm glad you found someone who makes you so happy.
So what you need to do now is sit back, enjoy it, and be yourself.  If she's realy into you this will be all that is really needed.

Though sending a gal some flowers never hurts (unless she's allergic, and if she is thier's different things you can do that are a similar gesture.)

(in reply to Carameldomme)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What should I do next? - 9/2/2006 8:06:15 PM   
Donnalee


Posts: 339
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline 		Try to remember to not put the full weight off all your hopes and dreams into the next meeting....relax and take it a bit at a time.  Breathe.  Ask her what she'd like you to do, or how she'd like you to behave.  Have fun, and good luck. 

(in reply to formenteralady)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What should I do next? - 9/2/2006 8:11:38 PM   
PrimitiveLogic


Posts: 145
Joined: 4/25/2006
From: Md.
Status: offline 		I encourage the Zen view...embrace the possibility given you...avoid playing out the expectation before it occurs.  Or as I say...Fate is what the universe has placed in your path...destiny is what you chose to do with that opportunity.  Breathe~

(in reply to Donnalee)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What should I do next? - 9/3/2006 5:51:57 AM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		Relax and just enjoy Her presence.  If She were not interested, She wouldn't be attending a weenie roast with or for you.  Breath, remember to breath *lol* ... have fun and get to know Her.  Allow Her to get to know you through more than scene or play.

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to PrimitiveLogic)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What should I do next? - 9/7/2006 5:03:59 AM   
bignipples2share


Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		This is just so cute. I love it. Congrats on your opening, just be gracious, honest in who you are. She obviously likes you, so like others have said, breath, tell her you're nervous and excited if you have to. I personally love this moment, in a relationship. she may find it flattering. 

~Big

(in reply to DivaDuchess)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What should I do next? - 9/7/2006 5:42:42 AM   
WildnWicked


Posts: 50
Joined: 2/26/2004
From: Lancaster, California
Status: offline 		Avon and Tupperware...yeah.. give her lots of that! j/k

You have Gallery opening coming up.. congrats!
You have a budding relationship with a Domme..congrats!

Have you thought about the fact that your time is going to be divided between your guests and this woman? While wanting to please her and do the right things, you also have a responsibility for this event.

If it were me, I would want you to be honest about your responsibilities for the night and that you probably won't have a lot of time to spend with me alone. I would already know this, but it would be brownie points for you if you were able to bring that information to the table personally.

Then, if it is at all possible.. it would be nice if you were to find someone who could maybe keep me company while you were busy schmoozing with the rest of the guests. Possibly another submissive friend that you trust to come to the event and help you out (and not jack you for your new found Domme...lol) by keeping her company. As a Dominant, I would be impressed with your ability to think ahead and ensure I was taken care of while you were handling your primary responsibilities. But, that is just me.

As for how to act, if you have gotten this far with her.. obviously she likes your approach. Don't change up on her now!

I also agree with being honest about your feelings and fears is a good thing. Communication is essential from the very start. Now is the time to start laying down that foundation of open communication with her.



_____________________________

We live in a society of victimization, where people are much more comfortable being victimized than actually standing up for themselves.-- Marilyn Manson

(in reply to bignipples2share)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What should I do next? - 9/7/2006 7:09:54 AM   
bignipples2share


Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		I would add to this in just having her at your side as you move through the various people.
I'm taking it that you're an artist and that this is a showing at a gallery? I don't know, I've not looked at your profile or anything.
If this is the case, I myself would enjoy seeing how you interact with others while also including me, even if I were only quiet and just observing. A mear introduction as you are moving through people with, this is my friend, so and so, and then continue on with what you need to do. I find this whole process facinating, no matter how many times it occurs. My focus would be how your mind works while doing all of this, not to make you uncomfortable, or anything of this nature. I admire the process. There is nothing wrong with someone who is dominate admiring another for who they are.
Edited to correct quite for quiet, I do know the difference between, quite, quiet, quit and to, two and too. Sometimes, my punctuation sucks, but sometimes that's because I use commas for pauses when I'm just thinking of wording, not because they actually belong there LOL

~Big

< Message edited by bignipples2share -- 9/7/2006 7:13:07 AM >

(in reply to WildnWicked)
Profile   Post #: 11
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