Finding... (Full Version)

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slave4Darby3d -> Finding... (9/3/2006 2:35:06 AM)

I have read so many posts/profiles and such.  I see men seeking women, women seeking men, subs seeking masters, masters seeking subs, everyone is seeking something. 
I have to ask - is it really that hard for a man to find a woman?  a Dominant to find a submissive? a Master to find a slave?
Which do you think is harder - and why?

(and please, people, no flaming on someone else for their answer.  I am asking opinion - which is personal and indisputable. thank you.)

slave4Darby3d



ericstanton -> RE: Finding... (9/3/2006 2:51:35 AM)

Its a relatively small group of people - with diverse interests and needs/reqiirements within that. Yes its hard.  Added to that some have more than one profile - to remain hidden from partners, and some keep their advert for a partner running after they have one.



kitty2MLoneWolf -> RE: Finding... (9/3/2006 3:02:39 AM)

Finding one isnt hard.. its the keeping part that is difficult



eyesopened -> RE: Finding... (9/3/2006 3:45:16 AM)

i can't say it's difficult to find Someone willing to talk, it's more difficult to find One willing to meet but then i live in a very inconvenient location.  Even so, i have met several Doms in r/t over the years.  Some liked me more than i liked them, some i liked more than they liked me, and two Doms became my good friends even if we don't have any other kind of relationship.   It's important to not want plug-n-play, instaneous relationships.  In my opinion, people don't understand the real joy of discovery and they want everything to happen right now.  Be patient.



FangsNfeet -> RE: Finding... (9/3/2006 4:11:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kitty2MLoneWolf

Finding one isnt hard.. its the keeping part that is difficult


Keeping a sub or keeping a dom? Keeping my sub is easy. Rope, chain, and duct tape take care of that. However, I do see where a sub can have difficulties trying to keep there dom with the same bondage idea.



mistoferin -> RE: Finding... (9/3/2006 6:10:53 AM)

Because most people aren't just seeking ANY man, woman, Dominant, sub, slave, switch...they are seeking a partner. That means they have to find someone who is compatible in many areas. The requirements for a partner usually include a bit more than simply having the correct genitalia and orientation.



NastyDaddy -> RE: Finding... (9/3/2006 8:47:26 AM)

Finding also includes finding out things that were not sincere in a potential partner.... often the advertising is better than the "person" who authored it.



mnottertail -> RE: Finding... (9/3/2006 8:59:19 AM)

In a word, yes.

Ron



WhippingPostNY -> RE: Finding... (9/3/2006 9:35:58 AM)

Seems to me it is exactly the same as meeting someone special in ones daily life - only in the case of D/s it's a much smaller pond.

I have found all of my female companions in this life to be adventerous and to have an interest in "playing" at D/s.  To find one who must live that lifestyle is my current quest.  Until now I have settled.

This has been going on for eternity by the way.  Just that the use of media to expedite the meeting has created the "seeking" launguage.

Has the man not always been seeking her though?

WP




Pimpernell -> RE: Finding... (9/3/2006 10:52:17 AM)

Smaller pool = less chance of finding your soul mate.
As you get deeper into certain aspects of the lifestyle the pool gets smaller, there are less subs than switches and less slaves than subs.  Plus then the pool is even smaller because someone's favourite fetish is someone else's hard limit.  Also I think more people in the lifestyle have a greater idea of what they want in life, so may have a longer list of wants and hence a smaller pool.
Any smaller and we'd have a droplet.



Estring -> RE: Finding... (9/3/2006 2:35:18 PM)

It is hard, but what other choice do you have? I did find my slave/wife here, but I searched quite a few years. As others have said, you are seraching in a much smaller pool than the general population. I can't speak for which search is harder, because I have only searched for slaves.



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Finding... (9/3/2006 2:48:24 PM)

The difficulty of finding what you seek always depends on your criteria ..ie:..attitude,appearance,age,kink,lifestyle,sexual orientation,location,your life as it stands..their life as it stands..baggage factor,and then we get into the chemistry factor...and we wonder why it is sooo hard!...egads!..Tempting



porcelaine -> RE: Finding... (9/3/2006 5:47:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4Darby3d

I have read so many posts/profiles and such.  I see men seeking women, women seeking men, subs seeking masters, masters seeking subs, everyone is seeking something. 
I have to ask - is it really that hard for a man to find a woman?  a Dominant to find a submissive? a Master to find a slave?
Which do you think is harder - and why?



It is never easy to find one that touches you and inspires your partnership and hand regardless of orientation or fetishes implied. I believe the difficulty is found in lumping many persons together with divergent needs, desires, and qualifications. In our naivete we are led to believe it can be simpler in some regard because we share similar interests. This does not compensate for the other important characteristics a potential suitor should possess. In my own experiences I have looked upon the individual first and based my decision about who they were as a person, not upon their dominant stature.

porcelaine



Sub03 -> RE: Finding... (9/3/2006 8:07:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Because most people aren't just seeking ANY man, woman, Dominant, sub, slave, switch...they are seeking a partner. That means they have to find someone who is compatible in many areas. The requirements for a partner usually include a bit more than simply having the correct genitalia and orientation.


Amen



SavageEu -> RE: Finding... (9/3/2006 11:10:01 PM)

I think it is damn hard to find someone worthy, period. So far I've only found 2 or 3 that really got my blood going in a way that I wanted to own them. Not only do you have to find someone whose interests mesh with yours, and you find them attractive, and they want the type of relationship that you want, you also have to just happen to catch them at a place where they are ready for that sort of commitment (for me atleast, I'm sure that more casual relationships are easier to arrange than 24/7).

So yep, its hard. There is only so much time in the day that can be devoted to the search as well, so even if that person who is perfect is here and paying attention, you might miss them as they give up right before you message them.

Ah I love being a ray of sunshine heh.



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Finding... (9/3/2006 11:21:48 PM)

Finding SOMEONE isnt hard. finding the RIGHT ONE is hard.  It took me a lot of loking and a lot of meeting the wrong ones to find my right one. It isnt hard for anyone to find just anyone.  Like its not hard to find sex, but its the love thats the difficult part.
My 2 cents

DV



Wolfie648 -> RE: Finding... (9/4/2006 1:28:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4Darby3d

I have read so many posts/profiles and such.  I see men seeking women, women seeking men, subs seeking masters, masters seeking subs, everyone is seeking something. 
I have to ask - is it really that hard for a man to find a woman?  a Dominant to find a submissive? a Master to find a slave?
Which do you think is harder - and why?


It depends on how picky a person is. On how social a person is. etc.

quote:

(and please, people, no flaming on someone else for their answer.  I am asking opinion - which is personal and indisputable. thank you.)

Nicely done ;-)

D (owner of j)



krikket -> RE: Finding... (9/4/2006 7:10:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slave4Darby3d

I have to ask - is it really that hard for a man to find a woman?  a Dominant to find a submissive? a Master to find a slave?
Which do you think is harder - and why?


i'm not sure here, cuz it's not in my exprience...but i would think it's the same world-wide, for both genders.  In spite of all of the "dating" (kink/sr citizen, etc.) websites, it's still pretty much trial and error, with it depending a great deal on the honesty of the people involved.



DivaDuchess -> RE: Finding... (9/4/2006 1:31:02 PM)

If you are looking for 'happily ever after with a paddle' you're going to be looking for quite some time.  I've seen some massive trolling in this site.  People who send out 'form letters' never bothering with a profile read.  We are pretty specific, Poly and patient.  Neither of Us will settle for anything less than very close what we want that saves everyone wasting time.  Interests are expandable and learnable.  Personality is what We look for.  As We are married, happily ever after, will have to be with a ... twist.  For Us, as long as you're a NATURAL born female Poly person with violent tendancies, We'll speak to you.



slave4Darby3d -> RE: Finding... (9/5/2006 9:30:01 PM)

I was asking the question out of curiosity, not out of my own seeking.  I have been blessed with a great man and a deep relationship. 
I just wanted to see how others felt about their experiences and what challenges may be unique to this particular social "pool".  And I'm always hearing the same things from Doms and subs...

Thanks for the responses.

s4D3d



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