RE: Would you still love them

RE: Would you still love them (Full Version)

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SusanofO -> RE: Would you still love them (9/4/2006 5:25:24 AM)
Wolfie: Of course I am interested in your perspective. Made sense to me. - Susan

MistressMelissa -> RE: Would you still love them (9/4/2006 5:40:50 AM)
When I first met my girl she was slave to another. Long story short, he lost his temper one night and gave her to me. She was slave and thus she was his to do with as he wish. So I took her into my house and told her she could submit to me or find another place to live. She begged my collar and has lived with me ever since. That was 4 years ago. Over that time I have grown to care for her, but the power dynamic is the core of our relationship. She has developed health issues over the years and is limited in how she can serve. Anytime I make allowances or make excuses for her limitations I upset the dynamic and neither of us are happy. If I wanted romance and love, I would not live this way. For better or worse the only relationship that I survive are based on the power dynamic since each of us understand what is expected of us. We know the rules. I understand a power dynamic but love relationships and emotions confuse me. There is clarity in the power exchange relationship. While I believe it is a little ones nature to fall head over heals in love with their owner and it allows them to serve more completely. It has been my experience that if an owner yields and falls helplessly in love with their property that they will upset the dynamics of the relationship. If a slave wanted a romantic love relationship, they would not have sought me out to begin with. Thus I need to maintain what it that brought them to me. Well that's my opinion and I'm sure yours are different, but then again we all have to find what works for us.

alwayscuri -> RE: Would you still love them (9/4/2006 6:22:54 AM)
Taking out the D's would I still love him.......definetly yes!........not only is he my Master, and partner but he is my best friend. Though we were both into D's before we met I think that greatly enhances our relationship.I think we work as a couple because we not only have the same lifestyle likes but the same nilla ones as well. We also just compliment each other very well. His strengths are my weaknesses and vie versa. I had a relationship previous to this one and although in respect to D's we had everything in common,although, when it came to a personal level we had nothing in common as far as likes and dislikes and eventually the relationship ended because of it. My current master and I have have weathered quite a few storms and I think that for us the glue that kept us together was the relationship we have as two people who love each other dearly. Could I have just strictly a D's relationship with him .........probably.....but the dynamics of what makes us ....us.......encompasses both D's and our personal relationship.....and i dont think the relationship would be as strong without both......We have been together for almost 3 years now and friends say my face still lights up like a Christmas tree when I see him...........curi

MrMister -> RE: Would you still love them (9/4/2006 7:15:15 AM)
Without a doubt, there would have to be a profound, undeniable initial attraction that could ever lead to loving someone and being involved in a successful 24/7 relationship with that person over the long-haul. Generally speaking, this seems to be more common in occurance with those like-minded individuals who are in fact searching for that special someone to develop a LTR in the first place. The fact is, deep, genuine, real and true love is something that's mutually given and unconditional regardless of position in life, or this lifestyle.

petcerina -> RE: Would you still love them (9/4/2006 7:26:30 AM)
i love Him because of everything that He is, Dom and everything else. However, if He decided to leave BDSM behind, and i was not ready to yet, there would be big problems. i don't know what would happen, but i am not sure it would be as simple as, "Okay, i guess i'll live without it too." i would still love Him, but there would be some serious issues to discuss. If i was ready as well, then i wouldn't see any problem and the relationship would continue happily just in a different way.

TxBadMan -> RE: Would you still love them (9/4/2006 7:37:13 AM)
quote: If you took the M/s or D/s dynamic, and the bdsm out, do you still love the person for all of their other qualities? Using Tikkiee and I as an example, absolutly.

LadyJulieAnn -> RE: Would you still love them (9/4/2006 7:46:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LL1aintbehavin I guess this is mainly directly at the couples that are in a 24/7 relationship with their significant other, be it any orientation. If you took the M/s or D/s dynamic, and the bdsm out, do you still love the person for all of their other qualities? Real life is not naked in chains and being flogged 24/7, and there has to be something else that keeps you together, at least in my mind. Do you have common interests?? Do you like their personality, their intelligence?? Their heart??? What is it that makes them special on a human personal level?? I may get misinterpreted in this, but I mean are they they kind of person you would love on any level, just having the dynamic present in the relationship makes it more special and deepens the committment? Is that person the most amazing person you have ever met in or out of the lifestyle? Yes indeed. We may have met because of our mutual interest in BDSM, but our relationship wouldn't have lasted if there was nothing else but BDSM. We are best friends and lovers and connect on many levels. Be well, Julie

thetammyjo -> RE: Would you still love them (9/4/2006 7:51:59 AM)
Fox and I would be good friends (maybe) but the fact is that we began our relationship as a training one -- with Ds and BDSM as the focus. The other stuff came later so if the foundation was gone, we wouldn't be together any more. Fox is an amazing man and we have some of the same interests and we some compatible interests but he certainly would not be having sex with me nor living in my house if he was no longer my slave.

Lashra -> RE: Would you still love them (9/4/2006 8:15:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MrMister Without a doubt, there would have to be a profound, undeniable initial attraction that could ever lead to loving someone and being involved in a successful 24/7 relationship with that person over the long-haul. Generally speaking, this seems to be more common in occurance with those like-minded individuals who are in fact searching for that special someone to develop a LTR in the first place. The fact is, deep, genuine, real and true love is something that's mutually given and unconditional regardless of position in life, or this lifestyle. Beautifully said[:)] ~Lashra

ImpGrrl -> RE: Would you still love them (9/4/2006 8:45:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressMelissa She has developed health issues over the years and is limited in how she can serve. Anytime I make allowances or make excuses for her limitations I upset the dynamic and neither of us are happy. That's odd - it must have something to do with expectations of "shoulds", because it really needn't be like that. It's a mindset thing. If Sir tells me to not do something because of my limitations, it's not a disruption - he says, I do. It might cause a little mental turmoil - those darned "tapes" - but when I adjust my mindset away from me ("I should"...etc) and back toward him ("He wants"...etc), all is right in the world. The knowledge that he will truly do what is best - with his wants in a high priority there - helps me with that. It's partially a trust thing. I hear a lot of s-types saying that their owner is too easy on them, doesn't let them do enough, etc - and I always advise them to look to whether their owner is happy with this arrangement or not. If so, why are they complaining? quote: While I believe it is a little ones "Little one?" quote: nature to fall head over heals in love with their owner and it allows them to serve more completely. It has been my experience that if an owner yields and falls helplessly in love with their property that they will upset the dynamics of the relationship. This is not the case in general - perhaps in your experience, I can't deny that. But if a person has their priorities straight, and keeps them that way - whatever those priorities might be - then it's not an issue.

KnightofMists -> RE: Would you still love them (9/4/2006 10:42:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LL1aintbehavin I guess this is mainly directly at the couples that are in a 24/7 relationship with their significant other, be it any orientation. If you took the M/s or D/s dynamic, and the bdsm out, do you still love the person for all of their other qualities? Yes... It isn't their ability to live this lifestyle that I am in love with... It's the character and personality of the person. Just so happens the character and personality of them fit into living the lifestyle I live.

SirKenin -> RE: Would you still love them (9/4/2006 10:47:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LL1aintbehavin I guess this is mainly directly at the couples that are in a 24/7 relationship with their significant other, be it any orientation. If you took the M/s or D/s dynamic, and the bdsm out, do you still love the person for all of their other qualities? Real life is not naked in chains and being flogged 24/7, and there has to be something else that keeps you together, at least in my mind. Do you have common interests?? Do you like their personality, their intelligence?? Their heart??? What is it that makes them special on a human personal level?? I may get misinterpreted in this, but I mean are they they kind of person you would love on any level, just having the dynamic present in the relationship makes it more special and deepens the committment? Is that person the most amazing person you have ever met in or out of the lifestyle? I can honestly say yes. My wife is awesome. She knew I was a Dom before we got together, but we got together in a totally vanilla context. I love everything about her. She means the world to Me. We have at times removed the dynamic and it does not matter to Me at all. She is My world, and I will share My life with her whether we play or not. She is amazing. sigh

Littlepita -> RE: Would you still love them (9/4/2006 11:10:47 AM)
I have said from the beginning that I would be with him even if we were just a "normal" vanilla couple. I fell in love with him before he stepped in to be my Dom. I love the man he is and yes he is the most amazing man I have ever met. I still can't believe he is really mine. [:)]

LL1aintbehavin -> RE: Would you still love them (9/4/2006 12:20:27 PM)
Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply. I was worried that my meaning was lost, but by the answers and heart felt emotions i see here they were not. aintbehavin

littlemissub -> RE: Would you still love them (9/4/2006 12:54:56 PM)
I havce to agree with Lordandmaster here. My daddy has an ex wife that he still loves. They have great affection for eachother but he is NOT in love with her. He tried to live for years as vanilla with her but was never fulfilled. What fulfills him is someone who allows him to be completely who he is without any contingencies. I DO love him very much. I am a slave though. On the times we have to act more vanilla (IE when certain family is around) both of us feel the strain, which could eventually ruin a relationship for some people if they had to live hidden 24/7. Because we can be who we are and because he opens so many doors to me that I never considered before I love him even more. Everytime he tests me and allows me to grow, my love grows. Who is to say if it would be the same with the D/s.

littlemissub -> RE: Would you still love them (9/4/2006 12:57:05 PM)
I meant who is to say it would be the same WITHOUT the D/s. lol gotta love typos

LotusSong -> RE: Would you still love them (9/4/2006 1:00:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster Please, an absolute stranger on the internet is trying to tell me truths about myself that I'm unwilling to face? Laughable. But what's SAD, to use your word, is that you're serious. AMAZING!!! Isn't it??? Maybe I'm just one good judge of character. (It comes with experience)

Slipstreme -> RE: Would you still love them (9/4/2006 1:24:04 PM)
quote: If you took the M/s or D/s dynamic, and the bdsm out, do you still love the person for all of their other qualities? YES! Love made my D/s dynamic possible. Not the other way around.

subsa -> RE: Would you still love them (9/4/2006 1:29:02 PM)
since we've been together 20+ years and only recently begun exploring this lifestyle i can say for sure that, yes, i'd love Him and He'd love me with or without the dynamic. i'd like to add that after reading some of the threads on this forum, i believe that it's the trust, respect and friendship that are missing from some of the relationships and that's why they're not working.

MrMister -> RE: Would you still love them (9/4/2006 2:30:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lashra quote: ORIGINAL: MrMister Without a doubt, there would have to be a profound, undeniable initial attraction that could ever lead to loving someone and being involved in a successful 24/7 relationship with that person over the long-haul. Generally speaking, this seems to be more common in occurance with those like-minded individuals who are in fact searching for that special someone to develop a LTR in the first place. The fact is, deep, genuine, real and true love is something that's mutually given and unconditional regardless of position in life, or this lifestyle. Beautifully said[:)] ~Lashra Thanks Lashra [image]http://www.collarchat.com/image/s4.gif[/image]

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