Noah
Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rail
What if I have a another Person start talking first and they say this is my friend would really like to meet You?
Fuck that shit.
And whatever else you do don't be a gentleman.
... unless you happen to be a gentleman. If she likes gentlemen and you're a dork or an asshole you really shouldn't mislead her.
Be what you are and if she likes your particular combination of dork and asshole (or gentleman) then you're all set. If she doesn't then you're still all set, set to move on. It's good to get shot down once in a while. Helps with the humble act.
And who cares if she get's hit on every night and no cocktail waitress in history has ever accepted an invitation from a customer? Did Neil Armstrong care that no one had ever walked on the moon?
Sure he did. Maybe that's half the reason he wanted to plant his flag there.
Whatever.
There are no guarantees when it comes to heavenly bodies, pal, but ignore the odds. If all you want to do is work the odds, go start a sports book, or a bingo parlor.
Do you want to know this woman? Use some imagination and go with your gut. No one is ever out of bounds in the terms being thrown around in this thread. The minute you find out someone is really out of bounds (married, grieving, gay, doing time, voted for Bush, etc.) exit gracefully or be available as a real friend according to your preference. But no one is ever out of your league until you believe she is. Just don't believe that shit, Bro.
Ask her a question.
Care about her answer.
Make her smile.
Then depending on the shape of her smile be a little outrageous, or courtly, or self-effacing; or be all three of these at once if that's where the music is leading; if that--in other words--is what that smile brings out in you.
Surprise her--but only a tiny bit.
Then stop. Like about ten seconds before she decides what to think of you.
... unless all the signs say Go and you still want to, but don't kid yourself.
Never stop reading the signs, though. And never mind that stuff women will tell you about how you should look at her eyes. That's bullshit. You can't read the signs by looking at her eyes. You have to look into her eyes (and then, by the way, you have to look somewhere else for a bit or she'll be pretty sure you're a freak and I will too.)
Keep caring what she says, at least until you really don't. If she gradually starts seeming like a great girl for someone else, that's fine. You learned something worthwhile and had a nice dance. But don't be too hasty 'cause she's used to being hit on by those other kinds of guys and she might be a little off balance dealing with someone like you.
Take your time. Ten minutes; a week; six months ... whatever it takes up to the point where it is more time than you care to take. Play it all your way, but play the shots she gives you. Don't just try to use some formula.
Here's a really good thing to keep in mind, by the way. You're the guy. She's the girl. So many lovely things go south when people forget those fundamentals, or let the other person forget.
You are a guy, right? I have no idea how lesbians do this stuff.
If you're still interested, wait for your moment but don't wait a moment longer. Timing counts. And anyway there are plenty of other hot cocktail waitresses, hot dancers, hot doctors and hot UPS drivers who are waking up not thinking about a special guy tomorrow. That's because there are so many guys sitting on their hands listening to the people who tell them the odds.
And for God's sake enjoy the dance regardless of how long it lasts or where it leads.
You see its simple, really.
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