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Question for female Subs/Slaves - 9/4/2006 5:59:30 AM

lyndene236

Posts: 1
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline

This will not be of interest to many, I know, but I'm hoping for a few answers at least. What does a female sub or slave expect from an online only relationship with a Master or male Dom?...M.

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RE: Question for female Subs/Slaves - 9/4/2006 6:47:49 AM

lauren0221

Posts: 681
Joined: 8/29/2006
Status: offline

Be cautious with online relationships. You have all of the real feelings without the real relationship. It's hard. I personally would not do it again.

What to expect? That will completely depend on the Dom, and be sure you are clear and okay with the expectations.

Good luck to you.

(in reply to lyndene236)

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RE: Question for female Subs/Slaves - 9/4/2006 6:53:32 AM

Donnalee

Posts: 339
Joined: 7/15/2006
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Communication is the most important part of an online relationship....you have to really put it out there because you won't have the "just sitting together in a room" time that can say so much to an intimate partner.

You'll have to work out what each of you is looking for: sex? cam time? phone time? IM time? journals? daily notes? It will be an unique as any relationship online or in real life. But I agree with Lauren: the feelings will be there. They just come into it over time, and then often things might need a little re-negotiating. Good Luck.

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RE: Question for female Subs/Slaves - 9/4/2006 7:09:43 AM

petcerina

Posts: 143
Joined: 4/4/2005
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For me, when i was doing on-line relationships, i was doing it for some experience and for a taste of what sub space was like. It is not the same as real life and doing everything, but it was enough for me, when i felt it was all i could have.

(in reply to Donnalee)

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RE: Question for female Subs/Slaves - 9/4/2006 7:14:34 AM

krikket

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
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Pretty much the same thing i "require" in an off-line relationship: honesty, open communication, not being set up to fail, and consistency. If you say you're going to "be on-line" it should take something like the second coming, or a life altering event not to show. (and, yes things happen, but if you've set up a date for 7 PM wouldn't you call that date, saying you're sorry, but could you have a rain check.) In this day and age, i see no reason not to have the same manners with your on-line partner and the one who lives next door.

cheers
jimini

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin

When your heart speaks take good notes.

(in reply to petcerina)

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RE: Question for female Subs/Slaves - 9/4/2006 7:46:14 AM

diamonddreamlove

Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline

Had a year long online relationship that was wonderful. It took a long time to build to the level of wanting to meet in person. Which we did. The only problem was that i personally could never settle back to online only and eventually went r/t only. He is still a Friend and i will always have a special place in my heart for Him. Circumstances and 2 countries divided U/us and that for me was extremely sad. I venture to say W/we were and are deeply effected by it. If things were different i would still be at His feet but they are not and i need a real life. So i guess the answer is the same things i need in r/t without the benefit of touch.

diamond

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"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

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RE: Question for female Subs/Slaves - 9/4/2006 8:09:05 AM

Steelriven

Posts: 300
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline

Personally... I wouldn't expect much... Then again, I don't think I would have an online relationship with anyone with out eventually meeting them in real life. I've had online relationships as well... They've never panned out for me. I'd love to meet all of my online friends offline, and treat them as if I will eventually. Hopefully some day I will.

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steelriven who's just a lil_twisted

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RE: Question for female Subs/Slaves - 9/4/2006 8:11:16 AM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
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There are some benefits to online relationships vs. real life, especially in the getting started phase. There is a freedom in knowing the other person is a long distance away and you will likely never meet. There is less expectation or focus on making the relationship into something. Parties are freed to simply enjoy what they have. Because of that, there is often a greater honesty and openess much earlier in the relationship. They can converse with one another with a refreshing and liberating lack of pretense.

As far as what a sub/slave would want to get out of it, I dont' really know from that perspective. I haven't engaged in an online relationship from that side. From the dominant side I most like the power exchange part of things. I like the idea that I have created little routines and rituals that remind him of me every time he does them. That he is thinking of my influence in his life every day. Imagining that I am there, watching, aware of what he's doing.

For him it seems to be a way to express a side of himself that has no outlet in his everyday life. He is the dominant in his marriage and longed to be a slave but could not explore that in real life without upsetting the "order" of things.

(in reply to diamonddreamlove)

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RE: Question for female Subs/Slaves - 9/4/2006 10:03:58 AM

angielouwhos

Posts: 87
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline

I can't imagine a long term online only relationship. I do agree that the computer and phone can be good tools in the getting to know you phase, and also durring that time where you are both trying to figure out if you are compatible. Beyond that there can be online friendships but beyond friends is hard for me to get to via the computer. I'd have to meet someone within at least a few months of knowing them online to pursue something further.

My hopes for the online interaction is that the person be real and honest, polite and open and for them to be true to the person they are.

I am amazed that some people feel it's appropriate to start ordering me around via email or after one phone call and the like, just because I am a slave. I am not their slave at that point. That is one of the courtship ending things for me.

(in reply to lyndene236)

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RE: Question for female Subs/Slaves - 9/4/2006 11:27:27 AM

ayasha

Posts: 149
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline

one believes it fills a void in their life. Sometimes they are not in a position to have a real time relationship - but long for some type of D/s relationship, and online can fill that void.

(in reply to lyndene236)

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RE: Question for female Subs/Slaves - 9/5/2006 8:48:53 AM

kitty2MLoneWolf

Posts: 149
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lyndene236

This will not be of interest to many, I know, but I'm hoping for a few answers at least. What does a female sub or slave expect from an online only relationship with a Master or male Dom?...M.

no phone calls and no knocks on my door

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used to be jessieme but I got a life <grin>

Dont worry about what other people think....they dont do it very often!

(in reply to lyndene236)

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