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waiting for replies - 9/4/2006 12:43:20 PM   
lustfulllesbian


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline 		I have tried to contact a domme, sent a brief description of myself and what i can do for her, asking if she is interested to write back and will give her more information about myself.

why am i not getting any replies.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: waiting for replies - 9/4/2006 12:45:46 PM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		When I click on your link for your profile, collarme tells me that the Profile is Not Found.  Perhaps filling out a profile would elicit a better response.  Scratch that ... IT WILL elicit a better response.  There aren't too many people Dom or sub that will just reply because you request it.  Go fill out a profile.

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to lustfulllesbian)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: waiting for replies - 9/4/2006 3:22:05 PM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		I found her profile.. you have to either copy and paste her nic or type it in. It's very well written.
 
And lustfull, there are a lot here that believe that no answer is an answer and do not reply to emails which they are not interested in. But if it's only been a few days it may be that they are busy or want time to think about what you and your profile said.
 
Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to DivaDuchess)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: waiting for replies - 9/4/2006 3:42:21 PM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		Got it ... thanks.  It's been a LONG day *lol*.  It is well worded and written, though perhaps too much detail.  What would be the point of contact if there are no questions.  Back off a few answers and perhaps strike a curiosity in someone.  Good luck to you.

_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: waiting for replies - 9/4/2006 5:12:19 PM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		Sometimes you just don't get responses. I don't initiate contact often, but my response has been about 50/50. Keep trying and be patient.

(in reply to DivaDuchess)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: waiting for replies - 9/4/2006 5:37:52 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		DivaDutchess is correct, when we click on your name what comes up is an error message saying profile not found. Maybe contact an administrator to get the error fixed? Because I think most people just click on the name and don't try to look further to find the profile. And that certainly will hurt your odds.

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: waiting for replies - 9/4/2006 8:21:04 PM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lustfulllesbian

I have tried to contact a domme, sent a brief description of myself and what i can do for her, asking if she is interested to write back and will give her more information about myself.

why am i not getting any replies.

Well duh, you know the answer: SHE'S NOT INTERESTED!

Next time, couch the "ask" not 'write me if you're interested', but something more open-ended, hoping for a polite reply either way.  You've written yourself into a corner with your own terminal outcome.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to lustfulllesbian)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: waiting for replies - 9/4/2006 10:09:19 PM   
WildnWicked


Posts: 50
Joined: 2/26/2004
From: Lancaster, California
Status: offline 		I had to write an email tonight to a guy on here who was rather rude in his approach. He had determined that we would make a good match based on my profile. I responded... nicely... he asked me to clarify something.. I did. I asked him a simple question ("Where do you play?") and he didn't bother to answer. Instead he wrote an email asking to move to yahoo msngr or the phone. When I didn't check my emails for three days (but did log in to read the boards here) he sent me an email that said:

"you come on line, but don't check your emails
ok, enough games, please send me Your phone # if You are really into play and not just emails "

Believe me, I sent him an email that was not nice and told him thanks but no thanks. I don't believe in emailing, phone calls or instant messages. I am at enough real life events that someone has ample opportunities to meet me in a safe setting and I also come with tons of references from known people in the Het and Gay BDSM/Leather community. I stopped making special arrangements to meet people a long time ago. I am not going to take any amount of time out of my day to go meet playpartners from online. I will take time out of an event to get to know someone from online if they attend that event. This way if we don't connect on a play level, there is another perfectly good event going on for us to enjoy and not feel like the time was wasted. I have made more friends that way than I have playpartner. I will take friends over playpartners any day.

I also get emails from people in like Texas or somewhere way out of the way. I don't respond to those.
I get emails from people asking me to play right off the bat. I don't respond to those.
I get emails asking me to have sex. I don't respond to those.
I like tenacity, I don't like pestering though. It is a fine grey line.

I would send two emails spaced about two weeks apart and then leave it at that.

_____________________________

We live in a society of victimization, where people are much more comfortable being victimized than actually standing up for themselves.-- Marilyn Manson

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: waiting for replies - 9/5/2006 5:53:24 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Celeste43

DivaDutchess is correct, when we click on your name what comes up is an error message saying profile not found. Maybe contact an administrator to get the error fixed? Because I think most people just click on the name and don't try to look further to find the profile. And that certainly will hurt your odds.


Anything worth having is worth doing a little work for... isn't it?
 
Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: waiting for replies - 9/5/2006 7:32:02 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		There could be many reasons why you did not receive a reply. Did you notice if the message was already opened? Check this feature in your sent mail folder. If it hasn't been opened yet it could be that she has not checked mail or maybe your message ended up in her bulk mail folder.

(bulk mail is where mail ends up if you do not match up with specific criteria)

If is has been opened then the no immediate reply could mean a few things...

1) not interested
2) did not have time to reply at that time

If this person is a new member she may be receiving a great deal of mail. Typically new members (especially women) get a lot of mail from what I tend to call "site sharks", kind of like fresh meat hitting the water... feeding frenzy.

The non-reply based on no interest is often viewed as rude by those who sent the message. What the sender's fail to realize that the recipient is often dealing with many new emails each day & the polite "no interest" reply often generates more unwanted mail.

If you are really puzzled by this I would suggest you verify whether this person actually opened this email or not & if she has... go back & read her profile & she if you still feel you may be a good match. If you feel that you are a good match ( such as: common interests, local or close enough for easy visits, age compatibility, etc.) If you feel that you are a good match... send a second email. If you don't hear back from her again after that... consider the non-reply as not interested & move on.

(a side note) You mention relocation multiple times in your profile. This in itself could cause a person to shy away from you. I can only speak for myself but I know that this alone is enough to make me stay clear of anyone who contacts me. Especially when this person says they wish to relocate to reside with me. Simply ain't gonna happen!

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 9/5/2006 7:34:12 AM >

_____________________________

MstrssPassion


(in reply to lustfulllesbian)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: waiting for replies - 9/5/2006 7:53:18 AM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline 		Okay, let me explain this once again.  The OP has the same problem I do.  If you click on my name here, you get "Profile Not Found" but if you copy and paste my name in the Username field on the main page, poof, there's my profile.

Another part of this problem is that YOUR EMAILS DO NOT GET SENT.  The reason you get no replies is that nobody receives your emails.  Period.  Your outbox says it was sent.  It might even show the emails were read.  But, in fact, they are never received.

I've been bitching about this in the forums for nearly a year now.  I've tried cancelling my account and starting a new one.  No luck.  The Moderators have suggested that I write to Support about it, and I have done so.  No response, probably because Support DOESN'T GET MY EMAILS EITHER.

Moderators have told me that someday it will be fixed.  Whether that day will be in the current century, who knows?

< Message edited by HarryVanWinkle -- 9/5/2006 7:54:06 AM >

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: waiting for replies - 9/5/2006 8:59:04 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		HarryVanWinkle, How is it you have come to know that your mail is not being sent even though it is marked as sent & read? Feel free to send me an email to test this theory.

As for support not getting back to you... well that's just support. Don't feel alone when it comes to "not getting a reply" from that area of the site. Another reason I offer to have you send me a "test" email... I haven't had much luck with getting replies from support.

As for not finding profiles when you click the name... often when you click a name on the forums side of CM, you don't find it... not sure why that is...

On the other side of CM... where we get our emails, I always see a profile when I check their name. Unless of course they have closed there account after sending the email & in that case their name shows in black (not blue, light blue, pink, purple or red). Mail from people without a profile is also indicated by a statement such as: "sender has no profile" (I don't recall the exact phrase)

You can also set your email filter to direct email from users with no profile to the bulk mail folder. Everyone should check their mail controls because I had one experience where all of my mail was being sent to this area & I wasn't checking this folder. I check it now because I have a few people that I actually write to that fall into my filter criteria.

Filter options:
No Profile
Out of State
Other Countries
Male (option: all, dominant, submissive)
Female (option: all, dominant, submissive)
Couples
Older than __
Younger than __

_____________________________

MstrssPassion


(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: waiting for replies - 9/5/2006 9:10:50 AM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline 		Ms Passion,

I know my emails are not being received because I have sent quite a few to personal, real time friends who are also on this site.  I have even tested it while talking with the friend on YM and had them check their bulk folders, check their email settings, etc.  They simply do not go through.

Thank you for allowing me to check it once again by emailing you.  I just sent you a test message.  I'm a 51 year old male switch, just to let you know in case your filters are set not to accept mail from such as I.

< Message edited by HarryVanWinkle -- 9/5/2006 9:13:30 AM >

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: waiting for replies - 9/5/2006 9:11:51 AM   
teazchaz


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/31/2006
Status: offline 		I've been wondering the same thing. Why don't Mistresses simply send a response saying that they don't think we are a good match, that I'm not what She's looking for or thanks but no thanks, etc. instead of not responding at all? Is it just considered good protocol not to take the time to send out a short response? Thanks

(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: waiting for replies - 9/5/2006 9:17:05 AM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		Some do, some don't.  I reply to all email but it may take me awhile

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to teazchaz)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: waiting for replies - 9/5/2006 9:25:30 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		I received your email & I replied back... your mail seems to be working fine

_____________________________

MstrssPassion


(in reply to HarryVanWinkle)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: waiting for replies - 9/5/2006 9:27:02 AM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline 		Well, either collarme has fixed my problem or sometimes it DOES get through.

Thank you, Ms Passion.

(in reply to MsKatHouston)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: waiting for replies - 9/5/2006 9:28:27 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: teazchaz

I've been wondering the same thing. Why don't Mistresses simply send a response saying that they don't think we are a good match, that I'm not what She's looking for or thanks but no thanks, etc. instead of not responding at all? Is it just considered good protocol not to take the time to send out a short response? Thanks



quote:

MstrssPassion: The non-reply based on no interest is often viewed as rude by those who sent the message. What the sender's fail to realize that the recipient is often dealing with many new emails each day & the polite "no interest" reply often generates more unwanted mail.


Your question was already addressed right here in this very thread.

I can only speak for myself... but as an example: I specifically say I do not wish meet anyone from a great distance in my profile. Should I have to then reply to every person who writes me that overlooks or ignores this?

As to protocol... protocol is a individual preference determined by an individual. No one can expect each individual to live up to what they determine as their own protocol.



< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 9/5/2006 9:36:44 AM >

_____________________________

MstrssPassion


(in reply to teazchaz)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: waiting for replies - 9/5/2006 10:13:54 AM   
houstonmalesub


Posts: 10
Joined: 5/25/2005
Status: offline 		I don't think this is something that you can apply a textbook answer to.

I guess I try to maintain open communication and dialogue with people that I find pleasant to talk to.  And if I talk to them here, I would welcome the opportunity to meet them in person at some time.  (It doesn't mean that I have to play with them or be in a relationship with them, but I've usually found something in common - or something in their profile/journal to laugh with them about!)

Sometimes I'll get a reply to something that isn't open-ended or it may even be "closed" - to me, which means that the dialogue isn't likely to continue even though it hasn't been explicitly stated.  Sometimes I seek clarification and get it.  Other times not.

I'm just myself and I hope that how I carry myself in my communications will be enough to generate interest.  If it isn't then, it is out of my control as I try to be as deliberate as I can in speaking with and to others.

(in reply to MstrssPassion)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: waiting for replies - 9/5/2006 11:09:09 AM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		Are you offering something that the dominant is looking for?  When I get a letter from someone who is clearly outside of what I am looking for, I generally don't respond (i.e. I mention that I dislike feminization and he writes to say that he wants to be my sissy maid).  When I do respond to those folks I am usually scathing. 

If someone has similar interests, but I think he wouldn't be my cup of tea, I don't respond  either.  I used to, but it often got into this thing in which he asked why he wasn't what I was looking for, and I explained, and then he got hurt or offended and then rude.  Dreary, that.


_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to lustfulllesbian)
Profile   Post #: 20
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