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"Under Consideration" What Does it Mean To You? - 9/4/2006 5:38:02 PM   
Silvermoon


Posts: 156
Joined: 11/24/2004
Status: offline 		Good day folks,

Since there tends to be some great intelligent and open-minded comments on these boards (while wading through the ego-trips) I thought perhaps I would bring a question to the board that I asked in my own venue quite some time ago.

I ask this both for personal reasons as I have been trying to define it, and because I'm insanely curious about other people's methods. I am after all, a psychology major (waits for the boos and hisses to stop )

This is for all roles, all genders to answer.

My question is this. In your personal opinion, when someone approaches another and tells them they are 'under consideration' exactly how do you feel the responsibilities change? Or do they?

Ie. Do spend more time together?. Do you let others know? Are you 'no longer on the market'? Should you keep in stable contact? Are there limitations?

If for some reason you don't wish to post to the boards, I don't mind e-mails that are respectful.

Sincerely,
Silver.


_____________________________

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"In Manus Tuas Commendo Spiritum Moum"-Into Your Hands I Entrust My Spirit

"A man's word is his honor, his honor is his worth; Therefore a man who can not keep his word, is worthless"-Self Quote
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RE: "Under Consideration" What Does it Mean T... - 9/4/2006 5:41:42 PM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		maybe Oscar Goldman is running a special on building the ultimate BDSM personel. (have to be a Six Million Dollar Man fan to get this...LOL)

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to Silvermoon)
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RE: "Under Consideration" What Does it Mean T... - 9/4/2006 5:43:36 PM   
Silvermoon


Posts: 156
Joined: 11/24/2004
Status: offline 		Yep, I admit, I don't get it.

_____________________________

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"In Manus Tuas Commendo Spiritum Moum"-Into Your Hands I Entrust My Spirit

"A man's word is his honor, his honor is his worth; Therefore a man who can not keep his word, is worthless"-Self Quote

(in reply to michaelGA2)
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RE: "Under Consideration" What Does it Mean T... - 9/4/2006 5:46:42 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Well, under consideration means they are considering owning you, or being owned by you.

For example, I walk down the street.  I see a cute blonde.  She is under consideration.

Make sense?

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to Silvermoon)
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RE: "Under Consideration" What Does it Mean T... - 9/4/2006 5:47:55 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		When I was under consideration by my Master, it meant that he was working with me and observing me to see whether or not I would meet what he was looking for in a slave.  It meant I was functioning as a submissive to him - as though I already belonged to him.  Therefore I was not "on the market."  Rules and expectations were clearly defined, and much time was spent asking each other a plethora of questions to better know and understand each other.   I may have chosen to pull back and not ask for his ownership just as much as he may have chosen to know want me as his slave.  I was not obligated to do as he said, since he did not officially own me, but I would wager a guess that if I were not obediant and submissive to him, he would have seen the value in owning me.

I hope that helps.

(in reply to Silvermoon)
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RE: "Under Consideration" What Does it Mean T... - 9/4/2006 5:49:26 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Silvermoon

My question is this. In your personal opinion, when someone approaches another and tells them they are 'under consideration' exactly how do you feel the responsibilities change? Or do they?

Ie. Do spend more time together?. Do you let others know? Are you 'no longer on the market'? Should you keep in stable contact? Are there limitations?



Assuming the person desires to be considered, I would assume that this is the beginning of a formal period of evaluation for the dominant and submissive. I don't see it as a guaranteed union between the two, but a trial run so to speak. I can't say if there will be significant changes in respect to time and other factors unless these have been agreed upon or specifically requested and/or stated beforehand. Some persons who are typically under consideration refrain from entertaining other offers from interested parties.

If this is a sincere concern I would inquire about the length of time associated with the consideration and the steps that would typically occur after that period has elapsed. You may wish to tell your prospective suitors that you're currently speaking to someone and have no definitive plans as to where things may lead, however, you welcome casual conversation from them. The latter allows you to maintain friendly relations without completely isolating yourself over a situation that may not end in your favor.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

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RE: "Under Consideration" What Does it Mean T... - 9/4/2006 5:54:22 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Someone coming up to me out of the blue and saying I was under consideration would get short shrift. But usually it means the two people feel a connection and are seriously exploring it to see if the relationship has possibilities. I'd expect them to be off the market at that point.

(in reply to porcelaine)
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RE: "Under Consideration" What Does it Mean T... - 9/4/2006 5:57:48 PM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline 		One of my best friends was in a relationship she called 'under consideration'. She and her 'Sir' decided to use this term to describe what some people might call the 'engagement' period before a marriage.

During this time of 'consideration' they explored their relationship closely to insure that a Master/slave commitment was what they wished to have. They also spent the time discussing various components of their proposed M/s relationship and how it would work for them.

This period of being 'under consideration' was for almost a year. This summer she became his owned property in a heartwarming and lovely collaring ceremony.

_____________________________

Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to Silvermoon)
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RE: "Under Consideration" What Does it Mean T... - 9/4/2006 6:05:24 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		Elegant, that perhaps is the only time i've heard 'under consideration' actually meaning more than some velcro type of collar.  Thank you for sharing that type of 'consideration'. 

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to Elegant)
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RE: "Under Consideration" What Does it Mean T... - 9/4/2006 6:06:23 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		The term of "Under Consideration" is a lifestyle term and a mainstream comparision to me would be an engagement.  I believe to be a mutual choice and not unilaterally determined by one (IE Dominant)  To me engagement indicates an intension and desire to make a life-time commitment. However, the actually commitment has as yet not be given.  This to me follows what I consider "Under-Consideration to mean to me.  such an expressed intension would equate to an increase of time and energy in building the relationship as one approaches the point of making the commitment.  Of course, during this time period one is very much changing one's intension to make the commitment and vow much more easily than after such event occurs.

We also have that courting phase that is an equally applicable term in a mainstream context or lifestyle.  However we tend have shades of grey in between this Courting phase and the "under-consideration" phase as we consider each person's own individual preferences and situation. 

The formal recognition of the phases is also subjective to individual perferences.  I personally find the courting phase to be rather informal and I even consider the "under-consideration" phase to be more formal but not as formal as the outright committment phase.  However, informal doe not equate to not having a clear expectation of what and where the relationship is at being communciated to my partner.  Both alandra and kyra went thru a courting phase to the point that we expressed an intention of wanting to make a commitment and entered into the Engagement/Under-consideration phase.  We evolved together and became more and more aware and invested into each other as we entered into the Engagement/Under-consideration phase.  To be honest... our awareness and invest still continues to grow long after the commitment has been made.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Silvermoon)
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RE: "Under Consideration" What Does it Mean T... - 9/4/2006 6:21:27 PM   
Homestead


Posts: 1005
Status: offline 		It means some people want to see how they get along before making a commitment.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: "Under Consideration" What Does it Mean T... - 9/4/2006 6:55:10 PM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		I'll admit that I have a very cynical view of the whole "under consideration" thing. 99% of the time what it means is "I want to keep fucking you but I don't want to commit so I'll toss you this bone so you'll let me keep fucking you."  Kind of like giving someone an engagement ring to shut them up about marriage but you have no intention of actually getting married. 

(in reply to Silvermoon)
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RE: "Under Consideration" What Does it Mean T... - 9/4/2006 6:55:38 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I'm confused.

Why would someone approach me only to tell me they are "under consideration" by another?

First, I personally think that's meaningless. Either you are in a relationship or not and until you are you don't owe anyone more than politeness. When I'm talking to someone I don't expect him or her to stop talking to others, heck, I don't except that even when we've begun training or moved onto ownership.

Second, anyone telling me that is probably either trying to make herself look better in my eyes (snatch me up quick before I go) or he is trying to keep his options open while negotiating with someone else. I don't think either approach is very honest.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Silvermoon)
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RE: "Under Consideration" What Does it Mean T... - 9/4/2006 7:05:44 PM   
Bluebird


Posts: 384
Joined: 2/17/2006
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsIncognito

I'll admit that I have a very cynical view of the whole "under consideration" thing. 99% of the time what it means is "I want to keep fucking you but I don't want to commit so I'll toss you this bone so you'll let me keep fucking you."  Kind of like giving someone an engagement ring to shut them up about marriage but you have no intention of actually getting married. 


Call me cynical also, but I tend to agree with MsIncognito.  Either you do, or you don't - if you don't, then either party is free to keep accepting the status quo - or free to leave.  If you do, then collar or marry or whatever.  Presumably, you have already gone through the "courtship" phase to have arrived at this point? 

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Love is patient, love is kind. I am neither. Get over it.

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RE: "Under Consideration" What Does it Mean T... - 9/4/2006 7:14:29 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Silvermoon
My question is this. In your personal opinion, when someone approaches another and tells them they are 'under consideration' exactly how do you feel the responsibilities change? Or do they?

To me it means that they ar dating someone and seriously considering whether they want a relationship together.  It doesn't change any of my responsibilities at all.

quote:

 Do spend more time together?. Do you let others know? Are you 'no longer on the market'? Should you keep in stable contact? Are there limitations?

Depends on the relationship and what you decide for yourself.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_437842/mpage_1/key_consideration/tm.htm#437958
Putting under consideration

http://www.collarchat.com/m_297748/mpage_1/key_consideration/tm.htm#297748
collaring levels

http://www.collarchat.com/m_293199/mpage_1/key_consideration/tm.htm#293199
some slaves have no

http://www.collarchat.com/m_249659/mpage_1/key_consideration/tm.htm#249659
"Under Consideration"???

http://www.collarchat.com/m_167264/mpage_1/key_consideration/tm.htm#167264
Under Consideration

http://www.collarchat.com/m_167264/mpage_1/key_consideration/tm.htm#167264
taking someone under consideration

http://www.collarchat.com/m_136495/mpage_1/key_consideration/tm.htm#136495
under consideration

http://www.collarchat.com/m_86003/mpage_1/key_consideration/tm.htm#86003
different "stages"/different treatment?


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Silvermoon)
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RE: "Under Consideration" What Does it Mean T... - 9/4/2006 7:16:00 PM   
Silvermoon


Posts: 156
Joined: 11/24/2004
Status: offline 		I think you misunderstood the question.
:)


_____________________________

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"In Manus Tuas Commendo Spiritum Moum"-Into Your Hands I Entrust My Spirit

"A man's word is his honor, his honor is his worth; Therefore a man who can not keep his word, is worthless"-Self Quote

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: "Under Consideration" What Does it Mean T... - 9/4/2006 7:25:50 PM   
Silvermoon


Posts: 156
Joined: 11/24/2004
Status: offline 		Thank you LA, That's alot of information. :D

I suppose I should post my own opinion.

In my opinion, if someone tells me I am under their consideration, that is there way of telling me they are formally interested in a relationship with me. Consideration to me is before the 'training' stage and WELL before the collar. I've seen people compare it to an engagement ring. I consider it more like a Promise Ring.

The stage where we see just how well we mesh as people, while entering the D/s stage. While I retain all of my soft or hard limits, and communication is encouraged (it always should be, but perhaps more so here) This is the point where my relationship with a Dominant moves from knowing them as a person, to knowing them as a Dominant and allowing them to get to know me.

At this point, while I'm not committed by a collar, I'm seriously investing my time in this person while they are investing their time in me. During this time, I've ended relationships because there started an established pattern of going for days without calling, or they figured they 'had' me so they need not put efforts into building a foundation.

At this point I also will resist 'dating' any others and those that approach I politely let them know that I'm currently under consideration by another and would like to put all my efforts into that relationship.

I tend to think this is the point responsibilities tend to change to. I think it's baseline, that you should be in touch with each other on a regular and predictable schedule, there should be a discussion on limitations on both sides and future expectations.

The reason this question came up for me years ago, was because I was told by a Dom, I was under consideration for his collar. Meanwhile he would come to visit me, and disappear for days on end. Several other reasons of course. I was not treated any differently than when he and I met. And thus, the question came up. He drew a blank when I asked him.Which got me to thinking about it.

Sincerely,
Silver



_____________________________

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"In Manus Tuas Commendo Spiritum Moum"-Into Your Hands I Entrust My Spirit

"A man's word is his honor, his honor is his worth; Therefore a man who can not keep his word, is worthless"-Self Quote

(in reply to Silvermoon)
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RE: "Under Consideration" What Does it Mean T... - 9/4/2006 7:29:03 PM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		Under consideration for me is simply that W/we are looking at each other very closely and i am following His rules for O/our relationship during and out of play.  In most cases i would assume that would put one out of the "market", however in my own case it puts me in the market because He wants me to meet other Doms so that if He offers me a collar (He believes it is for a lifetime not just for a few months or so) i will have the experience needed for making that decision.  It is the engagement period of the bdsm community.  Just my thoughts and while on the subject W/we have not discussed it as being under consideration.  He says He knows what He wants while i have much to learn.

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

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RE: "Under Consideration" What Does it Mean T... - 9/4/2006 7:29:14 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Silvermoon
I'm seriously investing my time in this person while they are investing their time in me. During this time, I've ended relationships because there started an established pattern of going for days without calling, or they figured they 'had' me so they need not put efforts into building a foundation.

At this point I also will resist 'dating' any others and those that approach I politely let them know that I'm currently under consideration by another and would like to put all my efforts into that relationship.

But there are two different things going on here:

Someone saying you are under their consideration

You agreeing to consider them/be under their consideration.

A person can tell me they are putting me under consideration until they are blue in the face.  Until I agree to something and set up what exactly that menas and ENTER INTO the agreement with them, it's fairly meaningless.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Silvermoon)
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RE: "Under Consideration" What Does it Mean T... - 9/4/2006 10:07:08 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		It signifies that one party is willing to dangle offers relationships and another is willing to be associated with someone who is willing to dangle offers of a relationship.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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