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training - 1/6/2005 9:47:00 AM   
new2bfemmed


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/28/2004
Status: offline 		I am looking for mistress to train me (femmenization) and if possible to help me to get back into shape (telling me when and how to workout) is this possible
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: training - 1/6/2005 9:54:35 AM   
GoddessJules


Posts: 549
Status: offline 		This is not directed at you only/specifically.
I wonder how many dominas relish the idea of "training" someone in something they specifically want to do. . .when this person mentions no means of offering any kind of service or recompense. Is it appealing to anyone?
"Sure, I'll take time out of my busy schedule to do what it is that *you* want with no expectation of anything in return. I *love* being used in that manner."

*pfffffffffffffffffft*

J

_____________________________

A pig's pussy is still pork, just like a bull's balls are still beef.
Click here to visit my site

(in reply to new2bfemmed)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: training - 1/6/2005 10:08:05 AM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline 		If my cynical filter was on, I might have interpreted that post as something more along these lines:

"I'm looking for the services of an image consultant and a personal trainer, without the associated costs one would normally pay for such services."

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to new2bfemmed)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: training - 1/6/2005 11:16:28 AM   
MiladyElaine


Posts: 1086
Joined: 10/10/2004
Status: offline 		Seems like he would've learned better by now not to come over here asking something like that! LOL

_____________________________

A crazy quilt is warm but oddly put together.

Milady

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: training - 1/6/2005 12:30:12 PM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		ey i am a submissive and i can give you adive on one of your wants, to get into shape eat less sugar and fat and exersise for a houer three times a week. Sorry for poking fun at you, i am in a brah like mood to day.

(in reply to MiladyElaine)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: training - 1/6/2005 1:30:36 PM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline 		Sounds like topping from the bottom to me Jules....

Lily

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessJules

This is not directed at you only/specifically.
I wonder how many dominas relish the idea of "training" someone in something they specifically want to do. . .when this person mentions no means of offering any kind of service or recompense. Is it appealing to anyone?
"Sure, I'll take time out of my busy schedule to do what it is that *you* want with no expectation of anything in return. I *love* being used in that manner."

*pfffffffffffffffffft*

J



_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to GoddessJules)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: training - 1/6/2005 5:50:58 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sfgrrl

If my cynical filter was on, I might have interpreted that post as something more along these lines:

"I'm looking for the services of an image consultant and a personal trainer, without the associated costs one would normally pay for such services."



HAAAA! OMG...that is too funny. I'm REALLY glad I wasn't in the middle of drinking something when that page loaded!

You mean to tell me NOBODY is jumping at this opportunity to be a lifesupport system for a whip?

Ok...I recently made a commitment to consider the possibility that people who post things like this are simply poor communicators. In that vein...

My recommendation to the OP would be to get out from behind his monitor and meet people who DO what we do. Be honest about being a beginner and don't play with anyone who wishes to push you into anything. Go to a MUNCH, go to a club or a meeting, get to know people as friends and don't troll for women. NONE of us appreciate it. Let people get to know you for who you are and the right connection will happen naturally.


Your mileage may vary.


_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: training - 1/9/2005 4:04:56 AM   
MistressMaamNH


Posts: 211
Joined: 8/11/2004
Status: offline 		Personally, if someone approaches Me with a laundry list of things they want Me to do for/to them, I direct them to the appropriate pay service, Pro Domina, Fitness Trainer, Makeover Specialist. Yes, of course a submissives interests and desires should be addressed in some form or fashion in the D/s relationship, however, it really is, first and foremost about the Domina's driving interests. The way I see it, a Domina states clearly what Her Interests, Desires, and Wishes are, and if a submissive feels they can offer what it is that will please Her, then he should approach. Otherwise, it's just a "do me" bottom.

Ma'am

(in reply to new2bfemmed)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: training - 1/9/2005 7:30:20 AM   
onceburned


Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline 		Unfortunately I think we scared the OP away - he hasn't been back to Collarme since the day he posted the message. I went ahead and sent him an email with some of the very good advice that you all have offered. Maybe he will see it and benefit from it.

(in reply to MistressMaamNH)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: training - 1/9/2005 2:08:20 PM   
servantnj


Posts: 39
Joined: 3/3/2004
Status: offline 		it sounds same to me as if i would ask, i am submissive male, and i need 2-3 Dominant females who will be my secretaries and who will train me during work time. ok, so the deal is they work, and you become slim, hmmmm, not only it is wrong and disrespecting, but such diet will never work.

now this made me think about something, ok, i need to post a new topic.

_____________________________

Why pamper life's complexity
When the leather runs smooth
On the passenger seat ?
-The Smiths

(in reply to onceburned)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: training - 1/13/2005 9:32:12 AM   
RosaB


Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline 		Gawd, I'm happy to see this post. This is one of my pet peeves, I get this type of request more often than not.

Mistress I would love you to train me.

Here's my laundy list: etc.

Also, I want no emotional envolvement, oh yeah and I'm broke and can't pay for such a service, oh also, what type of equipment do you own, I really love leather restraints and strap-on-play. I don't like doing housework, but if you insist, I will wash your panties and bath you. also, my penis is about 2 inches. And my favorite, My previous Mistress used to blah, blah, blah.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

(in reply to servantnj)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: training - 1/13/2005 9:48:39 AM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: new2bfemmed

I am looking for mistress to train me (femmenization) and if possible to help me to get back into shape (telling me when and how to workout) is this possible



Hrm, sounds like you are looking for a personal trainer/weight consultant and someone to go shopping with.

What's in this for a Mistress??? I mean, what's with the rash of bottoms giving a laundry list of what they want and expecting some Mistress to read it and say "Oh, My God! All this time I've been sitting here, thinking that I'm the one in control...~slaps her forhead~ when I've been so...wrong! Hallaluluah, I've finally got it! It's not what I want....It's all about the sub! Come to me, oh one of many desires...so that I can work my butt off to make you all happy.....

Please, someone please save us from this idiocy...

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to new2bfemmed)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: training - 1/13/2005 10:14:36 AM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		If You Lily do not like the man`s request why not stay silent and look elsewere. It is not nessesary to speak to him in such a manner just becouse he do not behave in the way You belive a sub should.

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: training - 1/13/2005 10:19:26 AM   
GoddessJules


Posts: 549
Status: offline
quote:

If You Lily do not like the man`s request why not stay silent and look elsewere. It is not nessesary to speak to him in such a manner just becouse he do not behave in the way You belive a sub should.


Actually, just as the original poster felt "free" enough to post his request in a **PUBLIC** forum. . .she has the right to air her opinion in the same **PUBLIC** forum. If people can't take *any* type of answer that may come from posting in a **PUBLIC** forum. . .then they shouldn't post. Just because you post something in a **PUBLIC** forum. . .it doesn't guarantee that everyone will agree with you, nor does it guarantee that people will sugar coat their replies to suit you.

J

< Message edited by GoddessJules -- 1/13/2005 10:48:17 AM >

_____________________________

A pig's pussy is still pork, just like a bull's balls are still beef.
Click here to visit my site

(in reply to nella)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: training - 1/13/2005 10:43:05 AM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nella

If You Lily do not like the man`s request why not stay silent and look elsewere. It is not nessesary to speak to him in such a manner just becouse he do not behave in the way You belive a sub should.



Ya know, nella, I appreciate your opinion. You have every right to be offended by my flippant attitude, and probably rightly so.

However, let's think about this from the Domme perspective for a second. In as much as I appreciate and honor the principles behind "Power Exchange" where exactly is the idea of Power Exchange in this submissive's posting?

I've talked to 50 submissives in the last 2 weeks. Of those, I've actually spoken on the phone to 10 and met 2 for interviews. The results have been less than stellar. I have a simple question that I ask that weeds out 90 percent of the 'fantasizers' which is this: "At any given time, I could get 10 submissive males in my area to line up for the chance to lick my boots. What makes you the one that I should choose?" 9/10 times the answer is "Well, Ma'am, I'm a good sub." This answer gets you the buzzer, and a polite "Thank you for playing" from me.

I have not been a part of the online community long. I've been involved in the scene in my local area real time for close to 7 years. I rarely meet a male submissive at a munch or at a party who doesn't know the correct protocols and what he's doing there. This does not seem to be the case with the On-Line community.

I appologize for rubbing you the wrong way nella, as it was not my intention. However, I refuse to recind my comments as they are how I feel about such rediculous requests such as the one that began this thread.

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to nella)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: training - 1/13/2005 10:49:36 AM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nella

If You Lily do not like the man`s request why not stay silent and look elsewere. It is not nessesary to speak to him in such a manner just becouse he do not behave in the way You belive a sub should.


One more thing...

This idea that I have some ultimate criteria for how a sub should behave is just...rediculous. I am respectful to those who show me and my community respect. I do not interact with submissives in a non-play/scene arena any differantly than I interact with other Dominants or Tops. I expect to be treated the way I am treated, and therefore act accordingly.

There was nothing respectful about the initial post. Had there been an underlying understanding of what a Mistress can bring to a submissive in the training aspect, then perhaps I wouldn't have been as flippant. But, given that there was no respect for time and or energy and or what a Dominant might want, I acted accordingly.

nella, I appareciate your comments, however, if you wish to chastise me, I'd expect you to do so with a modicum of understanding.

Respectfully,

Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to nella)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: training - 1/13/2005 11:10:13 AM   
onceburned


Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nella
It is not nessesary to speak to him in such a manner just becouse he do not behave in the way You belive a sub should.


Nella, I am not so sure. I am a novice to D/s and as part of my attempt to learn more I have cast a wide net to gather in a variety of web-based discussion groups. And I have been appalled at the cluelessness of most of the male 'subs' who post on them. Its as if they aren't even trying to understand - much less make an effort to form a relationship.

I get annoyed with the discussion groups which are heavily male sub. The female subs are terrific but the guys are dumber than doorposts. And I just casually read the messages... I am not getting bombarded by requests to do this or that.

Perhaps voicing a little outrage will shake up some of the guys so they stop and think about what they are doing.

The OP did return to Collarme and it looks like he has changed his profile - although he still doesn't 'get it'. I don't know whether to count it as victory or throw my hands up in air in despair.

But I do think it was reasonable to voice criticism of his post.

(in reply to nella)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: training - 1/13/2005 12:39:24 PM   
floridasub


Posts: 9
Joined: 7/7/2004
Status: offline 		nella,

i think that you have definitely over reacted to Ms Lily's statements. When i read it i get the idea that
a) She was stating Her opinion which is what these forums are for
b) She was being sarcastic in Her opinion
c) She was stating a true fact that many of the so called slaves are trying to top from the bottom and do not even think about what they can offer the Mistress rather what She can offer them.

Now i am of the opinion that the Ladies health, wealth and well being is tatmount. i have never entered into a relationship be it vanilla or lifestyle or friendship with an attitude of what is in it for me. The only time i have done this is in the business world where if i did not look out for #1 i would be pushed aside, passed over and would never succeed in my business. In all of the other relationships i have been lucky enough to have had i did not expect anything. The funny thing about that is that the Ladies i was lucky enough to befriend and serve on occasions most of the time asked me what i enjoyed or what fetishes i liked. This did not mean that i would be doing these activities all the time but most of the time they would incorporate some of my likes into our play and also just into our friendship. i feel if i had just asked/told them this is what i want/need i would not have gotten even into the door let alone become friends with them.




(in reply to onceburned)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: training - 1/13/2005 12:44:30 PM   
nella


Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
Status: offline 		Lily, if i came across as insulting i am sorry. i should not have answerd like that and should have worded my reply differently. It is just that the topic sort of get to me. i have serveral times had the impression that pepole do not consider me a real submissive becouse i have desirers of my own. i see nothing wrong in what the orgiginal poster wrote, but he could have worded it a bit more polite. i would probably have said somthing like this.

Ladies.

i am looking for a mistress to help me learn more aboute BDSM and D/s. i am ineqperienced so forgive me if this request to not meet whit proper eqiquette. i am more interested in D/s then in direct sex but as long as we talk aboute limits i am willing to try many things. Also i am working on loosing weight, to have somone helping me whit that would be grate. i have a hobby in making jewlery, perhaps if You help me by telling me when to train i can make jewlery for You. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy lives to read this message. i wish you the best.

You might not like that message either but it is how i would do it. I know littel of proper etiquette as i am werry new to this. Again i am sorry, i did not follow nettiquette and waited for an houer before posting when i got angry, and i shot at the first person i did see, sorry.

(in reply to onceburned)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: training - 1/13/2005 12:55:07 PM   
onceburned


Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nella
You might not like that message either but it is how i would do it.


Nella, I think your sample message was well written... iits a shame that the OP (check out his profile) does not put a similar effort into his attempts to contact a Domme.

Maybe you would want to open a small business writing ads for male subs?

(in reply to nella)
Profile   Post #: 20
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