Does income matter? (Full Version)

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Owned1 -> Does income matter? (9/5/2006 8:08:40 PM)

I know there have been questions on here about Dom/mes incomes however this sparked a question in my mind.

I know I have met a number of Dominants who backed off quickly when they found out how much money I made per year.  The fact I made much more than they did seemed to truly intimidate them.

I know in society today power = money and money = power.

Do you think income plays a factor in a M/s D/s relationship and where the power lies?

Owned
ps it was not because I am fat ugly or smelly that the dominant types scurried away [;)]



MsKatHouston -> RE: Does income matter? (9/5/2006 8:13:13 PM)

Not to me....though someone who is broke because of really bad decisions or lack of ambition will probably not work well with me.  I am a workaholic so admire thoe who have a sound work ethic. 

A sub who makes more than I do...great.  It doesn't intimidate me.   Most, though, make less so that doesn't bother me either. 

I would be more concerned that they are happy and pursuing a career in which they enjoy.



Homestead -> RE: Does income matter? (9/5/2006 8:15:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Owned1

I know there have been questions on here about Dom/mes incomes however this sparked a question in my mind.

I know I have met a number of Dominants who backed off quickly when they found out how much money I made per year.  The fact I made much more than they did seemed to truly intimidate them.

I know in society today power = money and money = power.

Do you think income plays a factor in a M/s D/s relationship and where the power lies?

Owned
ps it was not because I am fat ugly or smelly that the dominant types scurried away [;)]


I'm a small business owner who currently makes enough to get by. I'm working on building up my production capacity to do better. When women find out I don't make what they do, I tend to get judged as a loser-it's a societal prejudice.

So I will tend to look at some one well to do in the light of the ones before, the materialists. And yes, that's indimidating as hell to have to deal with.

So I can understand why other feel the same way. Is it inseucre?  You bet. Wev'e been set up by our culture to feel that way.



Lashra -> RE: Does income matter? (9/5/2006 8:18:36 PM)

I make good money and my sub doesnt, but if he did make good money no that wouldnt bother me in the slightest. I would think that a Dominant would be happy a sub made a good salary and was doing well in life.

~Lashra 



porcelaine -> RE: Does income matter? (9/5/2006 8:19:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Owned1

I know I have met a number of Dominants who backed off quickly when they found out how much money I made per year.  The fact I made much more than they did seemed to truly intimidate them.

I know in society today power = money and money = power.

Do you think income plays a factor in a M/s D/s relationship and where the power lies?



I believe that the issue concerning money has very little to do with a power dynamic and is more relegated to this individual's insecurities and personal bias. The men that I date have a particular economic and social status. We have to be compatible and be able to interact with some level of comfort in one another's world. If their abandonment of discussions was indicative of their feelings toward the subject, it probable that you have been spared from some mind numbing headaches.

I don't think that money is the determining factor in where the power rests. However, if the individual in control equates money with power, then quite obviously they will be uncomfortable in situations where the scales do not tip in their favor.

porcelaine




Homestead -> RE: Does income matter? (9/5/2006 8:20:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

I make good money and my sub doesnt, but if he did make good money no that wouldnt bother me in the slightest. I would think that a Dominant would be happy a sub made a good salary and was doing well in life.

~Lashra 


Unless you make less, and they act like you are a potential leech. Even if you never ask them for a penny, or would.



mistoferin -> RE: Does income matter? (9/5/2006 8:20:53 PM)

Yes...to a degree.

I have been in positions where I have made much more than my partner...and I have been in positions where I have made much less.

I need very little in life and money and material things don't much impress me. However, I have also lived long enough to know that you can't get by on love alone...no matter how wonderfully romantic that may sound. There are always bills to be paid and I have no desire to live out life robbing Peter to pay Paul or wondering where the next meal is coming from.



Owned1 -> RE: Does income matter? (9/5/2006 8:21:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

I'm a small business owner who currently makes enough to get by. I'm working on building up my production capacity to do better. When women find out I don't make what they do, I tend to get judged as a loser-it's a societal prejudice.

So I will tend to look at some one well to do in the light of the ones before, the materialists. And yes, that's indimidating as hell to have to deal with.

So I can understand why other feel the same way. Is it inseucre?  You bet. Wev'e been set up by our culture to feel that way.


A very interesting perspective, I had honestly not thought about how men had been brought up to think this.

I know for myself one of the attractions I have for Master is the fact he is proud of the amount of money I make even though it is more than his income.  I have always thought of the money as ours, not his and mine. 

I also agree I could not be with someone who was not working or looking for work.  The income at the end of the year truly is just numbers.

Owned



ladylexington -> RE: Does income matter? (9/5/2006 8:21:58 PM)

Does money matter? Sometimes. If a sub isn't making enough to accompany me on outings, go to clubs, or travel once in a while it limits how much we can do together, which restricts the relationship.



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Does income matter? (9/5/2006 8:22:43 PM)

Does income matter.... I prefer he has one. I wil not support someone, I cant. Beyond tat, no, not realy.  As long as we are comfortable enough to live as we please and not have to watch every penny in and out... I dont care who makes more. 

DV



Homestead -> RE: Does income matter? (9/5/2006 8:24:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Owned1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

I'm a small business owner who currently makes enough to get by. I'm working on building up my production capacity to do better. When women find out I don't make what they do, I tend to get judged as a loser-it's a societal prejudice.

So I will tend to look at some one well to do in the light of the ones before, the materialists. And yes, that's indimidating as hell to have to deal with.

So I can understand why other feel the same way. Is it inseucre?  You bet. Wev'e been set up by our culture to feel that way.


A very interesting perspective, I had honestly not thought about how men had been brought up to think this.

I know for myself one of the attractions I have for Master is the fact he is proud of the amount of money I make even though it is more than his income.  I have always thought of the money as ours, not his and mine. 

I also agree I could not be with someone who was not working or looking for work.  The income at the end of the year truly is just numbers.

Owned


I average ten hour days, six days a week. Overhead and materials cost quite a bit. Then take out taxes. I work my ass off. I still don't make as much as someone with a cushy office job. I finally got tired of the snobbery, and decided to just take a relationship break while I work  up new tooling and expanded my product markets. It's too much stress to do both.



MsKatHouston -> RE: Does income matter? (9/5/2006 8:28:31 PM)

quote:

I average ten hour days, six days a week.


good for you :) and good luck with your business.



Homestead -> RE: Does income matter? (9/5/2006 8:31:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

quote:

I average ten hour days, six days a week.


good for you :) and good luck with your business.


It's just work, and thank you. I come here to unwind on breaks.

I just moved, and am building a new shop and setting it up. it's been a very stressful month.[&:]



porcelaine -> RE: Does income matter? (9/5/2006 8:32:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

I average ten hour days, six days a week. Overhead and materials cost quite a bit. Then take out taxes. I work my ass off. I still don't make as much as someone with a cushy office job. I finally got tired of the snobbery, and decided to just take a relationship break while I work  up new tooling and expanded my product markets. It's too much stress to do both.


This is very indicative of our present culture. As an aspiring entrepreneur and future business owner I've experienced the opposite. Most that approach me are hoping that I will forego the above and relegate myself to the domestic bliss found in staying at home. I have not experienced snobbery or a lack of support. They are more than willing to finance the lifestyle I have at present and the one that I would want. Of course the selling point is typically that my talents are best utilized in other areas. You've gotta love the creative use of semantics.

porcelaine



KnightofMists -> RE: Does income matter? (9/5/2006 8:36:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Owned1

Do you think income plays a factor in a M/s D/s relationship and where the power lies?



It's a factor... but not in where the power lies.



AAkasha -> RE: Does income matter? (9/5/2006 8:38:01 PM)

I make good money but my submissive does not make any.  We both like it this way.
Akasha



Homestead -> RE: Does income matter? (9/5/2006 8:38:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

I average ten hour days, six days a week. Overhead and materials cost quite a bit. Then take out taxes. I work my ass off. I still don't make as much as someone with a cushy office job. I finally got tired of the snobbery, and decided to just take a relationship break while I work  up new tooling and expanded my product markets. It's too much stress to do both.


This is very indicative of our present culture. As an aspiring entrepreneur and future business owner I've experienced the opposite. Most that approach me are hoping that I will forego the above and relegate myself to the domestic bliss found in staying at home. I have not experienced snobbery or a lack of support. They are more than willing to finance the lifestyle I have at present and the one that I would want. Of course the selling point is typically that my talents are best utilized in other areas. You've gotta love the creative use of semantics.

porcelaine


The sad fact is that women have been conditioned to judge men by income. I'd rather find someone to combine forces with,  in work and life in general. But I'm forgoing that in the interest of self improvemnt for now. I'm very talented and productive. I just need to be able to crank product out faster.

Setting up machines and tooling on a shoestring budget takes a lot of time and work. But I'll get there, I'm very persistent.

I just don't need someone looking over my shoulder, and having hissies about me missing play dates at the moment. That pretty much screwed up the last thing I had going....live and learn.



KnightofMists -> RE: Does income matter? (9/5/2006 8:46:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

The sad fact is that women have been conditioned to judge men by income.


I would love to see the sad "Facts" that show that women (which infers all women) have been conditioned to judge men (which infers all men) by income.



AAkasha -> RE: Does income matter? (9/5/2006 8:46:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: Homestead

I average ten hour days, six days a week. Overhead and materials cost quite a bit. Then take out taxes. I work my ass off. I still don't make as much as someone with a cushy office job. I finally got tired of the snobbery, and decided to just take a relationship break while I work  up new tooling and expanded my product markets. It's too much stress to do both.


This is very indicative of our present culture. As an aspiring entrepreneur and future business owner I've experienced the opposite. Most that approach me are hoping that I will forego the above and relegate myself to the domestic bliss found in staying at home. I have not experienced snobbery or a lack of support. They are more than willing to finance the lifestyle I have at present and the one that I would want. Of course the selling point is typically that my talents are best utilized in other areas. You've gotta love the creative use of semantics.

porcelaine


The sad fact is that women have been conditioned to judge men by income. I'd rather find someone to combine forces with,  in work and life in general. But I'm forgoing that in the interest of self improvemnt for now. I'm very talented and productive. I just need to be able to crank product out faster.

Setting up machines and tooling on a shoestring budget takes a lot of time and work. But I'll get there, I'm very persistent.

I just don't need someone looking over my shoulder, and having hissies about me missing play dates at the moment. That pretty much screwed up the last thing I had going....live and learn.


I grew up knowing what I wanted to be: a professional woman, financially independent, who had boytoys at her beck and call.  I wanted to be a corporate executive with my pick of men, especially men I could spoil with my money. I didn't really think I wanted to marry a man who did not have a job, but that's sort of how it worked out.  I really related to the characater Sela Ward played in "Nothing in Common," having Tom Hanks follow her around like a puppy dog. Or Linda Fiorientino in "The Last Seduction."     I didn't want to be pampered and fawned over by men with lots of money; I wanted to have the earning power.  I have no idea how much this relates, if at all, to my femdom side.

Akasha



juliaoceania -> RE: Does income matter? (9/5/2006 8:47:41 PM)

I think that it does have a power element. This is just my opinion and not everyone will think this way, but the person that controls the money and has more of it controls the relationship. The fact that you have money and would retain it, possibly he would end up relvolving his life around your income, this is truly power within the relationship (in my mind).


He might pass up promotions for your superior earning capabilities, or perhaps remain in a job local to your job even though he could get a better one elsewhere... it does skew the power relationships in the minds of many.



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