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The Lashes Fall - 1/6/2005 2:05:26 PM

ForgottenBreath

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Joined: 1/20/2004
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"The Lashes Fall" by breath 1-2-05

The lashes fall, not one nor two, but nine
each one stinging, taking away my breath
my cries echo inside my own ears
my heart's wild pattern loud and clear

The lashes fall, my skin reddening
welts drawn in small patterns across ivory
each one making me tremble and jerk
pride evident in the bruises that will remain

The lashes fall, my tears forming
slowly dripping, caressing my soft cheeks
i sob softly, each moment passing
my body bending and submitting to You

The lashes fall, the world is a blur
colors intertwine and mingle, dancing
Noise becomes a low buzz in the background
Your voice still remains sharp and dinstinctive

The lashes fall, and fall, and fall again
my knees sink deeper into the floor
my body dropping lower, cringing
but an unknown voice begs more

The lashes fall, i scream
my tears pour down my face, i whimper
it's my voice begging now, more more
You give me more, and i cherish each one

The lashes fall, the last strike
i crumble, my body trembling and aflame
my tears streaking my cheeks
my voice broken sobs.

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RE: The Lashes Fall - 1/6/2005 4:34:31 PM

DameDarkness

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Joined: 10/1/2004
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Very moving..... I felt as if I were right there watching and empathizing with what you were going through ( I dont do that oft)

Dame

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Into the night sky I fly through distant lands and darkened streets... Up into the clouds to play and dance with the moon.....To the hearts of all and I say to you be true to they own heart.

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RE: The Lashes Fall - 1/6/2005 5:24:31 PM

theroebabe

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Joined: 7/25/2004
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Hi Breath and welcome to the forums at CM!

I have read all 3 of your posts and they are quite beautiful.

And yes i can feel the pain but yet isnt there more there? for me it is the pride in taking those lashes, the knowledge that you want to take them for the hand that gives you what you need?

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Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

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RE: The Lashes Fall - 1/6/2005 7:14:49 PM

velvetvixen

Posts: 378
Joined: 1/19/2004
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I read all three of your posts, I really like the lyrical quality of your writing. There is something about this one though that I can't quite put my finger on-- like it is unfinished or the last two verses are flipped.

But your writing style is really beautiful. Thank you for sharing, I hope you post more.

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RE: The Lashes Fall - 1/8/2005 3:17:55 PM

FangsNfeet

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Joined: 12/3/2004
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I particulary like this one as it tells me the meaning of my lashes and how appreciated they are or could be. Other than that nice flow, rythem, and well spoken.

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