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Submissive leanings? - 9/6/2006 5:37:29 AM

twicehappy

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Submissive Leanings?

Out of you subs slaves who are or have been in a two dominant (dom/domme, domme/domme or dom/dom) household or of you dominants who have or have had the same I would like to ask some questions.

If the sub/slaves were collared to both did you (doms or subs) notice a leaning toward one dominant or the other?

Can you tell me why?

Did the sex of the dominant involved appear to matter?

While we know sex is not the beginning or end of a D/s relationship we also know it is usually involved so do you think the lean towards one dominant more than other have to do with who the most sexual contact was with?

Or did it appear to be affected more by who the scenes were done with most often?

Or was it more of an emotional leaning?

How did this affect the overall dynamic?

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RE: Submissive leanings? - 9/6/2006 7:13:09 AM

MstrssPassion

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You will get a plethora of scenarios with this question because everyone's dynamic & structure is different.

For me...
When I have been in a DD involvement there is still an alpha. In my case I have always been the alpha. This didn't mean my D partner subbed or bottomed to me in any way... I was simply the alpha.

When we had a s-type involved in our relationship the sub leaned toward me for structure. The sub intuitively picked up on the fact that I was ultimately calling the shots. The sub leaned toward me in ways of being nurtured... Motherly if you will. As for romance or intimacy... well the sub knew her/his place beforehand. The sub was not involved with our dynamic in the regard of being a mate/partner/spouse. Any sexual contact was initiated in a physical sense or aspects of bonding but never to the degree that I would have or in the same meaning that I shared with my spouse/partner/mate.

I can see where in a heterosexually based dynamic of a F-Dom/M-Dom having their own submissive where intimacy could develop but maybe never at the intensity or level that the primary couple share. Poly structure is tricky business & all members must have all their cards on the table because anyone holding an ace (what they perceive as an ace) will destroy the whole thing.

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RE: Submissive leanings? - 9/6/2006 8:13:47 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy
If the sub/slaves were collared to both did you (doms or subs) notice a leaning toward one dominant or the other?

Can you tell me why?

The male was the one I wanted sexual attention and intimacy from, while the female was the one I wanted life issues and friendship from.

Generally, this is how I associate with males and females already, and in this case- it was their strengths.

quote:

Did the sex of the dominant involved appear to matter?

While we know sex is not the beginning or end of a D/s relationship we also know it is usually involved so do you think the lean towards one dominant more than other have to do with who the most sexual contact was with?

Hmm while I was more sexually into the male, the majority of our sexual contact was done as a threesome.

quote:

How did this affect the overall dynamic?

Pretty positively. The beauty of poly is that everyone's strengths can be best applied and that no one feels completely responsible for TWO other people. We were honest about our feelings before and during the relationship, so no one was surprised or upset about it.

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RE: Submissive leanings? - 9/6/2006 9:42:38 AM

twicehappy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Pretty positively. The beauty of poly is that everyone's strengths can be best applied and that no one feels completely responsible for TWO other people. We were honest about our feelings before and during the relationship, so no one was surprised or upset about it.

Beautifully put LA i could not have said it better myself.

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RE: Submissive leanings? - 9/8/2006 7:08:02 AM

twicehappy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MstrssPassion

When I have been in a DD involvement there is still an alpha.

I find this fact interesting, in our home as far as the Dom/Domme couple goes there really is not an alpha, they talk and work things out on an even basis.

As far as the intimacy i do think it is possible for all in the group to end up on the same level; naturally the longest relationship has the time before the other joined but eventually this evens out.

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