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RE: compatability - 9/7/2006 9:44:16 AM

juliaoceania

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I did not think that this was about the OP particular situation because of this line in her post

quote:

I thought this was a good one....

I thought the OP was just giving us something to consider, but maybe I am wrong about that?

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RE: compatability - 9/7/2006 10:11:24 AM

Mavis

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People all have different levels of "skin need" and i think possibly those on the bottom side are there because we need slightly more skin-stimulation than the norm.. but i'm just guessing. If that is true, it's likely a lot of us will find partners that don't have as high a skin-need thingie.

is it possible to condition Him to enjoy / accept even learn to crave more contact thru giving Him more? massages, footrubs, random touching.. not so much to manipulate Him, but to re-sensitise Him to the stuff that we are all born with.. the need to be touched.

Also, don't forget about the head! Head stroking is the most base thing we are born with. Almost everyone has an instinct to touch and stroke a baby's head when we murmer to them.. wonder why that is? Because the scalp was the first area in eutero that got steady contact, if the babe was in the head down position during the last days (called drop) pre-birth, and we're sensitised to it. It's a mother-love feeling.

(( edited to add.. in case this is just a discussion topic, rather than a real situation, i still hope these tips can be picked up by anyone!))

< Message edited by Mavis -- 9/7/2006 10:12:53 AM >

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RE: compatability - 9/7/2006 10:31:23 AM

justheather

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Oh, I love having my head stroked!

Also my upper arms. Any time I am massaged or touched there it's like my brain says "Wow, it's been so long since someone touched me there!"

When I was a little girl, we used to have all kinds of "games" we would play that involved touching and tickling one another's forearms...there were stories you would tell and you would draw it out on the person's arm. Eventually, we just would sit and take turns touching one another's arms for a given period of time.

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RE: compatability - 9/7/2006 10:46:16 AM

raiken

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pebbleskajira

How do you approach a situation where the slave needs/craves affection (kissing, cuddling, non-sexual touching) and the Master isn't a physically affectionate kind of guy, and it makes Him uncomfy...

thought this was a good one...

There are many ways in which a person expresses affection.

Another suggestion would be to learn of his way.

He may express himself very differently than you do, but certain of his actions or jestures may be given with the same intentions of affection. Understanding and learning of your partner takes time and observation, communication and patience.

Some folks are in their head more than their body, so they may be feeling affectionate while not physically expressing it. Others say it, while others act it out.

If you are not sure what he means during certain actions, than ask him. If he pats you on the back or head, etc., ask him how that makes him feel when he does that. It may be big to him, while it seems small to you.  Ask him what he wishes you to feel or what he wishes you to understand by his particular actions. Learn of him.

Once you are able to recognize his unique expressions, you will know how to receive it in a way that fulfills you, even if it is very different than what you currently have associated with this area. You have to take the time to understand who he is, and how he expresses himself. Understand that he may not change to accomodate your personal interpretations in this, or in any other area. Learn of him.

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Post #: 24