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Critiquing my profile....I'm told it screams "NEED... - 9/7/2006 5:52:22 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		I just had a nice gentleman contact me to tell me that my profile is far too long and screams that I am "NEEDY". Yes, it is long...I want it that way. I worked really hard on it to try to convey the essence of who I am. I am not looking for play partners....and I figure that someone who is looking for a life partner would probably not mind devoting the 5 minutes it might take to read it to finding their match. But NEEDY? OK, that is the first time I have heard that one.

He also said that I am "pushing off way too much of the work on the Dominant/Masters". Huh?

Mind you, this was an email sent by someone who has not taken the time to type even one single word into THEIR profile.

So....I'll throw it out there. Do I strike you folks here as "Needy" or someone who expects the Dominant to have all of the work and responsibility for the relationship? Is that what my words convey about me?

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Critiquing my profile....I'm told it screams "... - 9/7/2006 6:01:25 AM   
YouWantToDoWhat


Posts: 7
Joined: 7/25/2006
Status: offline 		Nope - it looks fine to me, Mistoferin.  I don't see "need" screaming anywhere in your text.  It's all very well said and to the point.  The Dom does all the work?  I doubt that!  You say you like to make a home, well THAT'S work!  A Dom simply gets to enjoy the benefits of your labor.

Don't change a word!

YWTDW

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Critiquing my profile....I'm told it screams "... - 9/7/2006 6:03:17 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		OMG - a guy actually read a profile? LOL!

Your profile is great - and not as long as some others I've seen either. I see no problem in giving as much information as you can and are comfortable with, in a profile - it surely has to increase the chances of a good match?

E

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Critiquing my profile....I'm told it screams "... - 9/7/2006 6:06:45 AM   
MySweetSubmssive


Posts: 1139
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		I just read your profile, and it didn't strike me as needy.  If anything, it was strong and clear-eyed.  Maybe that would be disturbing for someone who wasn't sure of himself.  I noticed that in describing your ideal person, you started off with "I" a lot.  Maybe this is what set off your correspondent. 

But needy?  No.

_____________________________

"Oh, James, you're such a cunning linguist."

--Miss Moneypenny

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Critiquing my profile....I'm told it screams "... - 9/7/2006 6:09:41 AM   
michaelGA2


Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

OMG - a guy actually read a profile? LOL!


i read profiles and only respond to those that i find interesting and offer what i seek.


_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to LadyEllen)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Critiquing my profile....I'm told it screams "... - 9/7/2006 6:13:07 AM   
abytchgoddess4u


Posts: 268
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
He also said that I am "pushing off way too much of the work on the Dominant/Masters". Huh?

So....I'll throw it out there. Do I strike you folks here as "Needy" or someone who expects the Dominant to have all of the work and responsibility for the relationship? Is that what my words convey about me?


I like your profile...:) I think it says a lot about who you are. I love it when pot. subs actually describe themselves as a whole person and you do that very clearly.

I don't feel that your ad screams "needy", and I think that guy was full'o'baloney!


_____________________________

"Everything in the Universe Is within you.
Ask all from yourself." Rumi

"The world will know and understand me someday. But if that day does not arrive, it does not greatly matter. I shall have opened the way for other women."
George Sand

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Critiquing my profile....I'm told it screams "... - 9/7/2006 6:15:31 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		You profile is fine hon, remember there are a lot of idiots out there.

Any how if there is something you need you know how to find us....um...it.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Critiquing my profile....I'm told it screams "... - 9/7/2006 6:16:22 AM   
seeksfemslave


Posts: 4011
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline 		Sorry Mister Ferin but I started to read it then went back to looking down the top of your dress. !

(in reply to michaelGA2)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Critiquing my profile....I'm told it screams "... - 9/7/2006 6:20:43 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		OMG...LMAO!!!!!!!  (Maybe that's where he saw the "need")

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to seeksfemslave)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Critiquing my profile....I'm told it screams "... - 9/7/2006 6:21:37 AM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Michael - then there are two of you out there who read the profiles? LOL? Seeks seems to be more typical......but then I think he might just be teasing to get a response!
E

(in reply to seeksfemslave)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Critiquing my profile....I'm told it screams "... - 9/7/2006 6:28:13 AM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline 		Dear, dear mist...reminds me of the guy I met who insisted I shave my pubic hair after chatting with him once and, when I asked him any clarifying questions or pointed out things like the fact that meeting him naked in a motel room halfway between his home and mine might not be the wisest idea, would resort to typing YOU WILL OBEY ME in all caps...then accused me in his journal of basically being mentally unstable.

Some guy with issues saw a women who is strong, intelligent and secure and wanted to take her down a notch.

That's about all I can see going on here.


_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Critiquing my profile....I'm told it screams "... - 9/7/2006 6:33:07 AM   
georgejames68


Posts: 72
Joined: 1/28/2006
Status: offline 		Yeah, I'm a guy and I read it long ago! I thought it was well done with a generous amount of detail and really well thought out. Don't pay any attention to the jerks that can't stand a detailed and well-written profile, dear!! George

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Critiquing my profile....I'm told it screams "... - 9/7/2006 6:44:48 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		Maybe it was that "needy" word that got me......

When I wrote my profile I tried to do so in a way that it would NOT be appealing to fixers, saviors and White Knights, as I know that there are many who are searching for exactly those types, it is not the audience whose attention I wish to capture. Often times our written words can be perceived in a manner that was not our intent. The very last thing I want to convey to potential partners is "neediness" so if indeed that is how my words come across I would wish to remedy that immediately. I am not above being corrected.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Critiquing my profile....I'm told it screams "... - 9/7/2006 6:45:11 AM   
Chaingang


Posts: 1727
Joined: 10/24/2005
Status: offline 		I can't really cosign the statement made by the person that contacted you, but if I try to look for something...

The part that begins with "Who I’d like to meet…." should probably focus only on the positive traits of the kind of person you seek and not include any of the negative comments that appear like they were written with a specific person in your past in mind.

I would move the bit about honesty to its own paragraph or place it into a section where you more generally discuss your values. The section beginning with "On the lifestyle:" might be a better place for that. And again, it sounds like you have something very specific in mind with that statement. I agree with you about honesty but what I find is that people are so used to the "polite dishonesty" that so much of human society is predicated upon that they don't even know what I mean unless I really spell it out for them. So ultimately the issue of honesty is more of a conversation with me than a possible line item in a profile. The fact is that people lie all the time and are even rewarded for doing so - whole families exist in dysfunctional denial about practically everything that actually matters; adopting a different approach with you is something a mate will most likely have to learn by fits and starts. I certainly think that my kind of honesty is quite rare to find in someone as a fully formed trait I can rely upon from the first.

I'd say the real "problem" is that you have already lived a full life and are looking for someone to compliment the well defined life you have made for yourself. Many of us have that problem - we get to be who we are and now more than anything we need companionship and not someone that wants to come in and start moving everything that's well established around. That's the exact opposite of needy, of course. Maybe the complaint was that a prospective someone most probably needs to adapt to what you already have going on. That can be a negative for someone that is looking for someone less established in her nature than yourself. It's not really a problem either, it's just the way it is and someone looking for something else should simply not see you as a match with them. End of story.

_____________________________

"Everything flows, nothing stands still." (Πάντα ῥεῖ καὶ οὐδὲν μένει) - Heraclitus

(in reply to georgejames68)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Critiquing my profile....I'm told it screams "... - 9/7/2006 6:46:41 AM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Add a picture of a fairie and say you are willing to do anything to almost anyone and I am sure your correspondent would be much impressed.

Your profile is fine, I have spoken, the issue is closed.

(in reply to georgejames68)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Critiquing my profile....I'm told it screams "... - 9/7/2006 6:47:30 AM   
Pimpernell


Posts: 198
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline 		Nope didn't come across as needy at all, though  I am shocked that there's a female profile without the phrase "strong, independant woman" in it.

Loved the profile, I especially like the idea of me lazing about the camp playing bluegrass while you hunted, cleaned and cooked my dinner.

I suspect he read Opera as one of your Hard Limits and got upset.  Those Opera fans can get quite nasty.

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Critiquing my profile....I'm told it screams "... - 9/7/2006 6:54:34 AM   
MstrssPassion


Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline 		I'll bet too much work for this guy would be reading a profile that said anything more than "fuck me now" or "yes sir"

_____________________________

MstrssPassion


(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Critiquing my profile....I'm told it screams "... - 9/7/2006 7:11:08 AM   
MistressWolfen


Posts: 578
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		I read your profile sometime ago mistoferin, and just reread it. Nicely laid out and NO where does it come off as needy. I quite like your profile.

_____________________________

Quoth the raven

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Critiquing my profile....I'm told it screams "... - 9/7/2006 7:41:55 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		You know Erin, I have received emails about how sick I am for having a "Daddy", opinions are like assholes, everyone has one... ignore this cretin and move on..smiles

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Critiquing my profile....I'm told it screams "... - 9/7/2006 8:00:11 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
You know Erin, I have received emails about how sick I am for having a "Daddy"

LOL people still use this line?  Dumbasses. 

To Erin:  In the past I've thought you were too needy and willing to open up to people to try and be THEIR savior, rather than seeing them for who they are.  But I haven't thought that way in a long time.  I think your profile perfectly presents who you are and what your attitude is, which means people who respond to it positively will be good initial matches for you.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 20
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