domtimothy46176
Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DaddyAngel
I never suggested that what she did wasn't service. However, if you had a submissive who insisted on doing for you what *she* thought you needed, without regard to what you wanted... what would you do? I told her that what I want is more important than what she wants. Which means that while I enjoy her cooking for me, I'd prefer she stripped to kneel on the floor when I arrived and that she spent the day ironing my shirts instead of cooking fancy meals, when all I need is a sandwich and her naked flesh beneath my hands.
Asubmissive who insisted on doing what she thought I needed, contrary to my stated desires would, by my definition, be topping from the bottom. In the example you cite, I think it's a very clear case, in fact. Anticipatory service that is accordance with your goals, however, is a different matter and must neccessarily be judged on its own merits.
While I encourage independant problem-solving and initiative within carefully delineated standards of conduct, that is something I recognize as a personal preference. It's closely related to my preferred mode of management and manifested within my dynamic as a very structured service paradigm based upon Victorian service models. I've met those who prefer less initiative on the part of their submissives.
Whatever one's preferences, I think the underlying test remains whether the initiative is in accordance with your stated objectives or is contrary to them. There are hypothetical instances whereby a submissive might feel justified in behaving in opposition to a dominant's wishes "for his own good", such as the case of the dominant who forbids his submissive to call the medics as he's collapsing into unconsciousness. The more common situations are generally black and white from my perspective.
My girl has the responsibility of apprising me of her thoughts when she feels that my decisions are not in the best interests of my house. This is defined widely so that she feels most comfortable bringing her suggestions to me. If she feels something is better for me than what I've decided to do, she lets me know but she always obeys my final judgement.
If I ask her to fix lunch, without specifying what I want, she may bring more than I wanted, based on her conclusion that I need to eat more than I have been. If I ask her to fix a sandwich, however, she might suggest that a more substantial meal would be better for me but she will abide by my decision if I choose to only eat a sandwich. If she ignored my decision to eat the sandwich and cooked an entire meal, she would be topping from the bottom and would be in danger of losing her position.
Both courses of action would be of service to me, but only the one that is in accordance with my stated desires is appropriate to the nature of our relationship. If my girl would not or could not see and accept the difference, she would not be a compatible match for me. I couldn't accept a girl who felt her judgement of my needs was superior to my own.
Timothy
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RE: A question about taking initiative, advice? - 
...lol so it just goes to show you that houses vary and it is not necessarily"topping from the bottom" unless you know beforehand your Master is the micromanagement type and does not like anticipatory service. 
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