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mp072004 -> RE: Effect of turning Pro Dom on personal relationships (9/8/2006 6:52:57 PM)
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I would advise you to read autobiographical writing by BDSM film performers--both tops and bottoms--and by professional dominants who meet clients privately. I can recommend two blogs; Chanta Rose is a fair example of the former (bondageexpert.blogspot.com) and Matisse is a good example of the latter (mistressmatisse.blogspot.com)
Like professional dominants, I do work similar to that which some people with the necessary materials and time willingly do unpaid, as leisure. I can tell you that I would do a lot of my job without being paid to do it, and I have done so, but there are some things I wouldn't do without the incentive of money. From this, you might infer that you too should be prepared to do things not because you like them, but because you're getting paid to do it.
You should come to view your work as a BDSM performer as work, because it IS work. Typically, when a hobby becomes a profession, you need to make an effort to professionalize your practice of it when you're "on the job." You might become more technically proficient, and you would certainly be more careful about meeting obligations and generally conducting yourself professionally. However, at no point did I say you needed to stop having fun. You should still enjoy your work; you just need to remember that when you're doing BDSM for work, your pleasure is no longer your priority.
Would your perception of a practice that was once purely a hobby change once you made it into a real job? I don't know. I know that my perception changed once my hobby became a big part of my work. I started doing it better, and liking it better, but I also wasn't as keen to do it "off-duty" because ten hours a day of it were quite enough. Other leisure activities, which I had not engaged in much in favor of spending my free time on my then-hobby, came to fill my free time now that I was getting my fill of my hobby-turned job. Hitting people, incidentally, was one of these things. For you, it may be different, possibly because your hobby was important to your intimate relationships and your sexuality, and mine only really became social once I started doing it professionally.
Monica
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