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RE: help needed - 1/8/2005 11:05:41 AM

cillatwhite

Posts: 5
Joined: 1/8/2005
Status: offline

We tend to talk about there only being one type of relationship
between sub and dom ( me ) .
I would like to offer a dissenting point of view .

I am a mature tgirl who is a switch
tri gendership if that makes sense
gender is such a limiting label
do not believe in labels either
I belive in positive dominance
the sub determines what she needs to please her and the domme role is to carry out that pleasuring
there should be negotiation
in essence the sub although being submissive is in fact in control
this gives the domme a huge responsibility
rather than the sub wearing a collar I believe in the exchange of
collars , signifying their bonds
there should be a great deal of communication between all parties to a
relationship to agree on what is acceptable
communication communication communication
hope you find this interesting
huggs and kisses
cilla

(in reply to INSIDEYOURMIND)

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Post #: 21

RE: help needed - 1/8/2005 11:41:10 AM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

If you have to bend over backwards to have a realtime relationship, do it!

It's beats bending over backwards in front of your computer!

True, but bending over backwards in front of your computer for the right person beats not doing it all. IMHO

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to INSIDEYOURMIND)

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Post #: 22

RE: help needed - 1/8/2005 2:21:49 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

I only wanted some help, and I am grateful to the people who are a bit more understanding and not so pompous as to feel that their way is the only way.

Pompous? Just trying to help.

42 naked, alone, by the glow of a computer screen - was that the image of 'romance' you had at 16? 21? 30? 40? Exactly when did that idea become attractive?

Real....

If not now - when?

(in reply to boo1962)

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Post #: 23

RE: help needed - 1/12/2005 10:14:58 PM

colonicegirl17

Posts: 14
Joined: 1/12/2005
Status: offline

Boo, with my experiences in the past (3 to 4 years) i've had to have a safty word with my Doms. with my curent Dom all i have to do is give an explination even if it's just "i don't feel comfertable doing this because...." then he decides weither or not it's a fair explination and will ask if i'm ok with something else. i believe that from my experiences Dom's should respect their sub(s) if it's just for sex then that's not a true Dom/sub relationship make sure there is more than just sex. i know there are a lot of Dom's out there who are just in the lifestyle because they can control and not be refused. i do not refuse my Dom don't misunderstand that but i am allowed to make suggestions and ask if something can be adjusted so i'm comfertable with it. maybe you need to sit down with you Dom and see what He thinks of you suggesting other things or asking for adjustments. i might become of as disobedent and such but i'm not i've just been in a lot of Dom/sub relationships where all the Dom demanded and wanted was sexual pleasure that isn't even close to fully what a Dom/sub relationship is supposed to be. i hope this helps. Good luck and do what your comfertable with.

(in reply to boo1962)

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Post #: 24

RE: help needed - 1/13/2005 12:01:16 AM

onceburned

Posts: 2117
Joined: 1/4/2005
From: Iowa
Status: offline

hi cilla, welcome to the forums. You have interesting ideas (I am too much of a novice to comment on them) and I hope you'll find a home here so you will continue to share your thoughts with us.

Chris

(in reply to cillatwhite)

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Post #: 25

RE: help needed - 1/13/2005 3:00:02 AM

darkinshadows

Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline

Everyone has different ideas about whats right and what isnt. Boos happy where he/she is right now in a place thats safe enough for her/him. In time... they may find online isnt enough and move onto the realtime. It might not be right for others, but so what as long as they are happy?

It can be discussed that online is different to real time. But then, for example, Mercnbeth's relationship is totally different to Inside and cynns and my Masters and I is different to someone elses. Individuallity is what makes life so interesting!

_____________________________

.dark.

...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to boo1962)

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Post #: 26

RE: help needed - 1/13/2005 6:15:03 AM

submise

Posts: 20
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline

I've had online D/s relationships. As a matter of fact, that's the only kink I've had so far. And I won't take on another online Mistress ever again. It's just too damn frustrating. Not to be able to touch, smell, taste, feel, etc... But that's not the point. It is in my opinion that your master isn't asking too much from you. It seems like a simple request to me. Peeing is a natural body function and if it turns him on and you want to make him happy, just do it. I'm sure he has much more humiliating tasks for you to do in later days. So be brave, feed on the humiliation. I'm sure it will get easier each time you do it. Once again, just my opinion.

(in reply to boo1962)

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Post #: 27

RE: help needed - 1/13/2005 11:15:48 AM

colonicegirl17

Posts: 14
Joined: 1/12/2005
Status: offline

i didn't mean to offend anyone on here but i've been in the type of D/sub where it was fully sexual and now i've found a Dom that sex isn't even a factor and i much prefer this relationship over any in the past. after being abused and such for so long it wears on the sub. this is all my opinion how ever and i'm just trying to help. everyone might think i'm to young to know this stuff but i understand it more than others. my advice and help is freely offered and if others don't like it then that's their choice.

(in reply to submise)

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Post #: 28